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         S  A  N  D      R  I  V  E  R     J  O  U  R  N  A  L
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 Sand River Journal is a collection of poems gathered from the newsgroup
rec.arts.poems; it is posted monthly in ascii and TeX formats to r.a.p. and
related newsgroups.  Current and archive issues may be retrieved by anonymous
ftp at the site etext.archive.umich.edu in the directory /pub/Poetry.  This
archive includes PostScript versions of the formatted journal, which is
publication quality and can be printed on most laser printers.  

 Poems appear by authors' permission and constitute copyrighted material.
Free transmission of this document (electronic or otherwise) is permitted
only in its entire and unaltered form; to inquire about individual poems
contact the authors by their email addresses.  I take no responsibility 
for the fate of this document, and claim ownership only to any poems I have 
authored.  Send comments and finished contributions (please reference SRJ) 
to asphaug@lpl.arizona.edu. Enjoy!

                                        Erik Asphaug, Editor




                     _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


                     Issue 9  -  Beltane 1994

		         First Anniversary

                     _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _





		------------------
		Raft of the Medusa
		------------------
		
	Gericault never painted the obverse
	yellow and purple wind-shells
	with legs open and
	occasionally inter-twined
	drunk in the brazen serendipity 
	of too much sun


			Kate Armstrong
			kmarmstr@uoguelph.ca



		--------
		untitled
		--------

	child
	i am old
	pluck me from the earth
	with your chubby potato-chip drenched fists
	rip out my aged white hair to the roots
	hold it up to the wind let it scatter
	toss my stem broken body over your left shoulder
	make a wish

	child 
	i am young
	crayola yellow hair
	i don't mind if you break my body
	stuff me in a pink plastic bunny cup
	on your kitchen table
	more things to see than all this grass
	bring my friends, will you please?
	

			Michelle A Freeman
			maf2d@galen.med.virginia.edu


		-----
		Lions
		-----

	You have seen lions yes?
	males
	females
	slowly
	and how they approach one another
	when it is time
	with open mouths and recognizant mumbles
	and she rolls over for him
	and he paws her slowly
	with such care as goes for gentleness among their kind
	and when he bites her neck
	it is not hostility
	but the irresistible generosity
	of her loose hide.

	
			Ralph Cherubini
			ralph@bga.com
 



		---------
		innocence
		---------

	little bird
	nodding in sleep
	do you know
	you are inside
        	a temple bell?


			zita marie evensen
			bu016@cleveland.freenet.edu 



		-----------------
		Remembering Kitty
		-----------------

	screams
	slice through
	heavy city air
	echo off
	faceless buildings
	metropolis
	of millions
	you are
	alone
	anguished
	cries will not
	be answered
	not today
	 
	thirty-eight hear
		feet shuffle
		open windows
		slam shut
		hands reach
		for phones
		stop short
	 
	thirty-eight see
		heads turn
		away from
		savage scene
		eyes close
		in ultimate
		urban denial
	 
	succorless
	suffering
	unabated
	by kindness
	of strangers
	you die

	 
			Michael Kushner
			mkushner@eden.rutgers.edu
 


		-------
		No Moon
		-------

	I woke and saw
	where my fingertips 
	spread the dust 
	on the windowsill
	the night before
	when I was 
	startled 
	by 
	no moon.


			Zazu Pitts
			an79015@anon.penet.fi



		-------
		Kiss #7
		-------

	A black pebble
	in your palm:

	a summer night.

	Place it
	in your mouth

	and I taste it.


			Alex L. Karan
			alk4@midway.uchicago.edu 



		-----------------
		Men Seeking Women
		-----------------

	By grace of candle light
	and Chopin's Nocturnes

	Blythe scans the
	men seeking women

	for possible stories,
	but only

	men seeking women
	over five foot seven,

	just in case.
	In under fifty words,

	men seeking women
	lay their lives and longing

	paper thin
	in stranger's hands.

	By grace of candle light
	and Chopin's Nocturne

	Blythe cuts out a few
	men seeking women

	who are all
	over five foot seven.

	Blythe says
	"listen to this one"

	A nocturne ends,
	peeling away from her laughter.

	The candle has dripped
	blood-red wax

	on a few
	men seeking women.


			Alex L. Karan
			alk4@midway.uchicago.edu 



                ---------
		te faruru
                ---------

	frozen in tahitian woodcut
        braided in passionate embrace
	silhouettes against the warm
        firelight and tropic moon
                
        lovers sinuous as the undulating flame
        her arm supple in sensual abandon
        contours of their spirits shimmer
        forever  in a gauguin umber-rust
           
        here they love


			zita maria evensen
			bu016@cleveland.freenet.edu



		-------------
        	wait a moment
		-------------

        night changed to day
        with the turning of an eye.
        opening a shutter
        new light finds us caged,
        solemn or silly.

        hearts on our sleeves,
        we stir fingers through hair
        palm fire across arched bodies.
        we make a new night
        behind shutters, sealed and caged.

        a sudden burst of laughter
        speaks another's silence.
        your face and shoulders
        smile and shake.
        spare the joke and we'll move on.

        so somebody weeps
        and another's tears ebb;
        liquid in a limited system.
        shed a tear, one crocodile drop,
        and rid me of these oceanic eyes.

        empty breath flows from another's body,
        dragging life from a dying man.
        suck fast gasps past puckered tongues
        as newborns test lungs.
        in a moment they shall change.

	yesterday glued to the day before it.
	we scream to separate the sheets
	and spin, thoughts wild,
	casting for a glimpse of any when.
	an orange sun urges us to turn another page.

	wait a moment


			Steven L. Fitzgerald
			sfitzge@unix.cc.emory.edu



		-------------------
		Shifts, Invitations
		-------------------

        How we studied it,
          the sea,

        bucking, banal.

        Its outbawlings, crooked finger
                  of the seawall,

        its outpourings, its invitations.


        And how it hammered flat
                  our moonlight,

        its metals,

                  roadlike.


			James R.J. Sheard
			jsheard@kampnagel.win-uk.net



		-----------
		Boddhisatva
		-----------

	find brothers who went under,
	teach them breathing:

	Boddhisatva is the truth of healing.

	Never damage
	what you dare pursue,

	no-one stares
	into the glowing orb

				but you


			Erik Asphaug
			asphaug@lpl.arizona.edu



		--------
		Savannah 
		--------

	Melancholy swims in your hot breath breezes
	Palm trees swoon and sway
	Houses with belle porches clutch the ground
	So storms may not tear away
	Tropical intoxication makes me dizzy
	And I fall on Georgia red clay
	Something old and rich here
	Despair hangs like Spanish moss
	Trembling twinkling in moonlight
	Make love to me the gardens say


			Jennifer Williams
			jaw4936@acfcluster.nyu.edu




		--------
		untitled
		--------

	it occurred to me, lately
	that in between your spontaneous
	corruption of my perfect world
	with your honest tugging eyes,
	you might have kissed me! 

	or turned me on my back and rubbed me
	with your big, beautiful hands,
	or held me
	in an embrace of sorrow
	that told me that love was allright.

	but I forgive you,
	honestly - there is nothing but honesty
	with you, oh that part that reaches
	right in between my ribs and tugs 
	and says, ``you know me...

	in you,
	I am."

			Sean M. Colletta
			mamushka@eden.rutgers.edu

		

		------------------------
		how does she eat a mango
		------------------------

	moths fluttering around a candle
	wing shadows trembling
	in the ritual 
	of loving and dying
	upon a marble floor 
        bits of colored paper
	of what may be 
        a photograph of my day

	street brat slinks at dusk
	throwing diamonds at passersby
	it is from me  it is free
	oh come on  take the gift
	and take time to the read poems
	on burger wrappers and  old  newspapers
	laundry-clipped by the wind
	to sidewalks broken by dandelions
	and  chain-links fencing empty
        parking lots of words

	i know  i know  you'd like to see
	what is the color of the nail-polish
	on the keyboard   what is that book
	hugged too closely to the breast
	how does she eat a mango 
        do her eyes change hues
        when she kisses

	in the rainforest of blue screens
	i lose a lot of friends this way


			zita maria evensen
			bu016@cleveland.freenet.edu



		-----------------------------
		Catechism for a Witch's Child
		-----------------------------

	When they ask to see your gods
	your book of prayers
	show them lines
	drawn delicately with veins
	on the underside of a bird's wing
	tell them you believe 
	in giant sycamores mottled
	and stark against a winter sky
	and in nights so frozen
	stars crack open spilling
	streams of molten ice to earth
	and tell them how you drank
	the holy wine of honeysuckle
	on a warm spring day
	and of the softness 
	of your mother
	who never taught you
	death was life's reward
	but who believed in the earth
	and the sun
	and a million, million light years 
	of being


			Judith Stanley
			powell@ingres.com



		--------------------
		Up, ant, at my Touch
		--------------------

 	 Covet this, she drives along tooling
	her sheath--it fits well
 	 and erotically lyricizes my lobes,
	Laves what skin of mine is bare,

 	 Nude--and covet I do. She's
	defined Want her insidious disastrous
 	 Way. I wish she would hold the
	wheel Tighter. Some shame in me
	
 	 is afraid of know-not-what;
	She pretends not-knowing, only
 	 her Nerve endings are touched,
	not her Spikes. She says I'm too
	
 	 Serious--goddam! Those fucking
	potholes make my jaws click together
 	 Hard, two lovers' sudden sparked
	Orgasms; hurtful, she Laughs.
	
 	 Other cars frown at us, coveting.
	She fucks them all well; they
 	 veer away, seeking shelter.
	I had an accident in my pants,
	
 	 Please downshift! I yelled but the
	Wind grabbed my words as her mouth
 	 opened to swallow me, and still she
	Laughed, 'til the Wind was gone.
	

			Ann L. Knight
			annkni@delphi.com 

 

		---------------
		Like This Water
		---------------

	I told him while the water was washing over us
	never to stop experience
	like this water
	just to be there while it washes over him
	and I held him to me
	as close as myself
	let it make you clean I said
	and he was crying
	because it hurts as if the skin is peeled back
	it could only be that kind of crying
	and I took his face in my hands and made him look at me
	as I told him against the stream
	that the other way is death.

	
			Ralph Cherubini
			ralph@bga.com



		-------------------------------
		grotowski and his lovely poland
		-------------------------------

			(Jerzy Grotowsky, Polish director, founder of The 
			Lab Theatre, pioneer of theatrical psychotherapy.)

	grotowski, roaring through "Akropolis,"
	hinted
	at the source of his angst:
	"Poland, you see, is the largest graveyard in the world."

	aushwitz is now a headstone,
	and citizens can view names and dates,
	realizing their soil sings with millions of
	earth-choked
	throats.

	no historical dialogue can erase the thunder of
	blitzkreig or luftwaffe.
	goebbel's tap-dancing can still be
	heard
	over the roar of smelting plants.

	so.
	do we stop the world in our fair poland?
	eh?
	do we cease daily life and build more tombstones?

	no.
	we go on doing what we always have done before,
	it served our grandfathers through all kinds of facisim.
	even the modern kind,
	that seeks to bring all filth to the light
	of politically correct truth.

	but what of dear grotowski?
	he is in california now,
	holding encountergrouptheatretherapy in the mountains.

	far away from the singing
	boneyard
	that is his poland.


			Tom Witherspoon
			78witherspoo@cua.edu



		---------------
		Scorch and Burn
		---------------

       				Work is done, then forgotten.  Therefore 
				it lasts forever.
                					- Lao Tsu

	Past five o'clock, the time for reconciliation settles upon him
	as hard wings brush past. Wings meant for another,
	still near enough to startle into reflection.
	
	The countryside drapes over his life.
	He has spent hours picking through the folds,
	searching for everything that sank away.
	
	Topsoil has winnowed past, leaving a hard clay,
	red under nails and gray underfoot,
	for him to tunnel to himself.
	
	Spent tobacco overflows ashtrays,
	too much effort trying to internalize the land
	until it lay ravaged in him.
	
	A cough was the first sign of pregnancy, but the smoke warns
	of twins and triplets, spiraling up in fading wingbeats,
	hinting of hidden fires.
	
	As quarter to six approaches,
	the exfoliated plain is too barren
	for anything but rebirth.
	
	Time turns up a new soil.
	New seed eager to rise, crops waiting to climb.
	To reap.
	

			Steven L. Fitzgerald
			sfitzge@unix.cc.emory.edu 



		--------
		untitled
		--------

	I wear it like a death mask
	Stolen from an ancient king's barrow
	Pallid
	No color
	Jaw clenched in the mockery of a smile
	A frozen scream
	A hideous laugh

	I use it as a weapon
	An axe to cleave what was joined
	A spear to pierce the unwounded
	I am not whole, why should you be?
	It is deadly poison, sprinkled liberally
	Would you like a glass of wine?

	I cherish it as a companion
	Always there when I am in need
	To be called on at a moments notice
	Faithful
	Of whom else can that be said?
	

			Ralph Haefner
			haefner@iastate.edu 




		------------------------
		Ano Nuevo at Mating Time  
		------------------------

	If only the selky's stolen cries,
	(broken on the water and strained upon the dunes),
	could fire the mind with an imaged flame remembered
	in caves of savage mankind.
	Then more completely would I find identity in the
	wauling song that sets to rhythm these gale-beat thrummings
	which chaff my ears.

	Thus exhumed, the light of fires long gone
	would mark with hi-light tabs this roiling view
	which unlocks its own visceral thrill.

	Indeed.

	How simple are the frothing calls which cater to nothing
	but that which stays wildest even when standing
	the cross-town queue.

	This ghosting companion who holds himself aloof and Free.
	Free to wither a parting glance at cool sensibilities
	mouthing their hysteric complaints.

	Nurture proves to be heartlessly efficient.

	Here in this farthest reach of sand/sea/sky;
	we dangle an exploring finger toward the pooled chaos
	and watch as a terribly real fight transpires down the beach.


                        Stuart Tanner
			toadhall!stuart.tanner@netcom.com
    


		-------
		Someday
		-------

	Highland pipes, mountain mist, and ancient
        	legends reborn;
	Will the great heroes walk the earth again,
	Will great Cormac again be king?
	Ask if the desert will be blessed with rain.

        	The only answer is someday.

	Irish harps, emerald moors and old tales
        	remembered;
	Shall we ever see the old glories made new,
	Will the Pirate Queen ride the waves again:
	Ask if a stormy sky will ever be blue.

        	The only answer is someday.

	Gaelic chants, ancient songs, dance once more
        	on the tongue;
	Will they dance and repeat in future history,
	Shall Taliesin and Merlin make magic once more?
	Ask if a villian is ever remorsful.

        	The answer is the same, someday.


        		Sheila J. Lester
			shiela@tcity.com



		----------------------------------
		In the Shape of Snakes, Our Bodies
		----------------------------------

	And as we were anonymous on a summer's hill
	You would think that we laid seige on one another-
	Lying as we did, in some immortal embrace
	With long dark hair curled over your milk face
	
	You brushed your hair away to mouth a phrase
	And told me that the stars
	Were rushing from each other
	I felt three times your age!
	Just the simplest of statements, and the stars exploded...
	
	It seemed like we were on the skin of a bubble
	bursting into nothingness
	while, up above, the shapes of men had named the stars.
	But, down below, the fields. And in this,
	dusk and perfection;
	In the shape of snakes our bodies carved.

	
			Niall Richard Murphy
			kennedys@unix1.tcd.ie




		--------------------
		on lake monroe today
		--------------------

	on lake monroe today the blues fuse with grays.
	the browns refused.  brown county indiana --
	a morning mess of twig and twine.  the spirit,
	eyelining the hills, fills the hollows, fills
	the woods -- delicate, leafless and so.  eyelashed.
	last night -- no wind, no sky, no coyote, just owl.


			Marek Lugowski
			lugowski@aristotle.ils.nwu.edu



		----------
		Haiku #437
		----------

	ten thousand things 
		left done and undone
	the tea steams


			William C. Burns, Jr.
			burnswcb@gvltec.gvltec.edu



		---------------------
		Some Days To Remember
		---------------------

	As when the great Lady herself
	Fell victim to the placid sea
	In what was otherwise a night
	Of silent starlit serenity

	And floundering in the cold waters
	Where no fish would dare to stray
	Were the faceless souls and voices
	Of that ever tragic day

	And near the lifeboats, all around
	Side by side, but all alone
	Were hands that had no raft to hold
	They were on their own

	Some slapping, splashing, {\it screaming!}
	For a paddle or a board
	And the louder they cried out
	The more they were ignored

	And soon they slipped beneath the shine-
	Their last eternal dive
	While not a single hand would reach
	To keep these men alive.


			Tim Edgar
			edgart@qucis.queensu.ca



		------------------------------------------
		In the Midnight Chill of a Winter Solstice
		------------------------------------------

	I remember two eager faces in the match-light
	sublimed in the trouble and rage of high school
	dances just let out...pretty girls, perfume and cologne
	intermingling.  We had a confidence, you might say a way
	with manners.  We kept aloof and found our solitude 
	in Blake and in Yeats.  Breathing the crackling fragrance 
	of clove cigarettes, our bodies shivered in the cold air.
	The thin sandy smoke was like silver in a street-light.
	The dull illumination of the rock-ridden mountainside,
	The faint blue stars, the cherries of two cigarettes,
	and the gold glittering of the midnight traffic below
	blasted our thoughts like a symphony and spoke
	to our minds a religion --- an enchantment of the beautiful...
	The cluttered clouds against the bare, black night
	glimmered with the brightness of the moon.  We felt 
	the dizzy hope of spirit enkindling our dreams.
	And from night to night we felt a constant surfacing 
	and resurfacing of something larger than us, threatening
	to smash to bits the entire order of all 
	that held us still.  As if we were the only two
	in a long time that ever dared to think these things,
	in those days we walked well dressed and in vain
	triumph. We quested after magnanimity--believing
	all our troubles and our fears could be dissolved
	with an subtle gesture or a sign.  I remember occasionally 
	a tear after gulping down that rusty smoke,
	would soak a ring around a cigarette,
	turn it yellow-brown, and then sizzle
	and vanish.  Again and again against madness 
	we tried to shake from ourselves --- to erase --- the cold ---
	to banish the unfeeling and the sleeping from our lives.
	What love did we imagine could master such vizardness?
	We sought out emblems from ancient Ireland
	and longed for ghosts within the landscape to come,
	to rise up and to teach us their secrets, songs
	and wisdom.  Staring at the darkness surrounding so
	many lights, we heard thousand thousand questions
	asked in the midnight chill of a winter solstice.


				Daniel Newell
				daniel.newell@m.cc.utah.edu




		-------------------------
		Elegy for an Older Sister
		-------------------------

	after the day you died
	I went to a mountain lake
	all warm and piney
	and as I floated in the gentle water
	transfixed between earth and sky
	I thought of you dying
	just the plain sorrow of it
	and of how it would never end


			Judy Stanley 
			powell@ingres.com




		-------
		silence
		-------

	just as 
	an echo 
	in an 
	empty room 
	is no response
		
	silence after 
	a shout
	in the dark
	is still no
	proof 
	that no one
	hears 


			Michael McNeilley
			mmichael@halcyon.com 




		------------
		Among Stones
		------------

	They have sculpted your back with cruelty
	those surgeons of shallow imagination
	did their best, in ancient time 
	would have sent you to the temple
	with votive bones of clay, with
	prayers like futile narcotics prescribed or
	exposed you on the plain of Argos
	where the red earth is eager
	to reclaim what came from it.
	
	Today I will follow you to the water
	and every day
	sit among stones with paper
	working my only magick and seeing
	you change fishlike abandoning
	the vague gravity of earth
	to water you are
	my most precious fish of salt and
	lapis the touch of water again
	makes you supple.
	
	I wait for waves of linen,
	a tidal bed, the moons rhythm
	secure beneath the planet's wing.
	No sky, no stones.


                         James Reiff
			 jreiff@pyramid.com



		-------------------
		after he touches me
		-------------------

	after he touches me 
	just his fingertips barely 
	on just my hips 
	it rains. 
	there is a nighttime orange sky 
	and there is lighting.  
	lighting strikes i read 
	make the air around them five times hotter 
	than the outer edge of the sun.  
	the air then must be very hot 
	after he touches me 
	but my hair is cold and wet and clings to my face 
	and on my arms each hair stands on end.
	
	
			JJHemphill
			jjh54139@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu




		----------------
		heroes and fools
		----------------

	beloved
	here i am in the embrace of night
	confused by perfume of orange blossoms
	i am laughing with a sadness
	i do not know from where

	beloved, you are
	the madness i cannot hide
	the poem i cannot write
	love makes us such heroes
	and such fools


			zita maria evensen
			bu016@cleveland.freenet.edu



		-----------
		Secret Door
		-----------

	Where is the door, secret and hidden,
		that leads to the halls and chambers of your heart?
	Picking the lock, I softly pad
		down the corridors of your mind.
	Stopping to read the inscriptions of your love,
		fragile thoughts, like bone white china,
		carved on tablets of stone,
		scattered around like errant rose petals.
	More beautiful than angel's wings.
	More precious than the treasure of kings.


			Larry Rupp
			rupple@u.washington.edu




		--------------
		Thumb Enclosed
		--------------

		{\it A thumb enclosed in a fist denotes a suppressed will.}

	Concrete's bitter sting:
	hewn stone and pavement sprout from seeded clay.
	Steel mountains bloom and hundred-armed poles
	climb through the ground, caught in flurries of emerald moths.
	Their wings flutter as countless hands
	wring their neighbor nervously.

		{\it The weaker will always look away first.}

	Animals lurk in the shadows,
	a chorus imposing deathly silence on otherwise empty sound.
	Organic automatons following an instinctive program,
	pausing to rewind when gears cease whirring and clicking.
	Then restart.
	
		{\it We'll always turn from the eyes of a stranger.}
	
	Restraining itself, the car urges forth on spinning legs,
	yellow cat-eyes scanning the darkness.
	Pinholes in the sky's shroud let through tastes of glory.
	The headlights illuminate only those patches of space
	directly before them as tunnel vision weaves down the road.

		{\it And I'll refuse to match your gaze, preferring
		the ambiguity of our relationship.
		Looking past each other's shoulders, eyes halved apart
		and tongues filling in the graves of fresh-spent words.}
	
	An enclosed thumb smiles against a moist palm,
	its nervous grin reflecting lines
	carved into the hand's tender belly.
	
	
			Steven L. Fitzgerald
			sfitzge@unix.cc.emory.edu