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`7$b -:- `7$mmm$P' -:- mystery poetry e'zine #1 -:- `7$mmm$P'
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"for such chaotic misch-masch potpourri,
what are we to expect but poetry?"
-:- t.s. eliot
-:- predictability's a bitch - by girlie17
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here it is boys and girls, the introductory issue of mystery! an
e-zine dedicated to the expression and exploitation of all those wonderful
poems we write -:- because face it -:- our world's pretty fucked up. so
let's talk about it!
from that annoying boyfriend or girlfriend to the psycho stalker,
you know we've all felt it. and we'd all go crazy if we didn't try to
figure out exactly why we let these things get to us. here are a couple
of little poems i've written because no one can tell me they know how i
feel, and it's almost useless to try and explain it.
"unless you can see inside my head, you can't possibly understand."
-less than jake
so for all you girls out there tired of holding it all inside, i'm
just here to say that people will listen if you speak loud enough. you
just have to get their attention :) and that's not hard to do... so before
i turn the music on for my strip tease i'd just like to say that's there's
fun to be had for all... but just as much pain in the end.
lots of tasty poetry, so eat up!
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-:- table of contents
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(1) to forget you...
(2) anticipation
(3) don't hurt me
(4) tell me
(5) and i wonder
(6) the only true pain i've felt
and its cause is you
(7) daily debate
(8) change of heart
(9) it feels good
(10) uncertainty
(11) there is no trust
(12) uncertain future
(13) and then what...
(14) things change
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-:- to forget you...
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the world around me
crumbled down
my thoughts i wish
i could erase
i want things to be
the way they were
before i saw your face
you were just an illusion
the way i wanted you to be
but now i see you're no different
just pure complexity
so try and let me down
without too much bother
i can't be hurt anymore
all i'd wanted was us
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-:- anticipation
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forty days and forty nights
it seemed i'd waited for you
the days were short
but the nights grew long
because i always wanted more
so tell me what you want from me
and then i will tell you...
are stories are too different
to ever follow through
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-:- don't hurt me
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my love is starved
my lust is crazed
i can only say this
in so many ways
just tell me you need me
and then i can wait
but if not you'll puch me
to my next mistake
i'm trying to wait
to share it with you
but these feelings inside
i know they aren't thru
i need you to see me
take the risk
you've told me you want me
in so many words
but the distance betwee us
holds us apart
just one thing i have to say
whatever happens
don't break my heart
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-:- tell me
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i sit here and wait
for your message to come
to know what you think
to know what you feel
the key to your thoughts
i want it so bad
i just need the truth
to woman from man
i try to tell you
just what i feel
but i won't come out
so what's the fuckin' deal
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-:- and i wonder
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i hear your voice
over the phone
and it's hard to tell
just what i'm being told
i need an answer
can't waste anymore time
i still wait for you
but i don't know why
i met you twice
you took my soul
now i have
no place to go
empty promises
unfullfilled dreams
i'm not quite as you
think i seem
the world seems empty
without you by my side
i lay in bed and i start to cry
i still wait for you
but i don't know why
you keep up my hopes
and seem to try
but you just can't say it
and i wonder why
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-:- the only true pain i've felt and its cause is you
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for once in my life
i felt it was right
innocence
it was different
something new
truth
we didn't lie
or try to be fake
reality
but then i left
and went away
pain
three states away
we sit each day
lust
i wait for him
and turn others away
why
we promise to meet
make future plans
feelings
so my hopes are there
but still he's not
faith
so still i write
and he replies
love
so i need him
can't do without
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-:- daily debate
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not long ago
i was on top of the world
couldn't want more
so many places to go
but now it's changed
so quickly gone
i've never felt
so all alone
in a corner
i curl up
and see what's on the shelf
who says that all
the easy answers are gone
i've got a few right here
resting in my palm
no more ups
and no more downs
the problems repeat
go round and round
so i comfort myself
it'll all be over soon
i drown my sorrows
with one last tune
my hands are empty
my body's numb
i start to feel warm
and wait for the end to come
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-:- change of heart
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for all the times you'd told me
you'd never love anyone more
for the the things you gave to me
you knew i'd never ask for
i'd given in to your sweet requests
and never thought you sore
but i never thought it'd end like this
and now i just feel like a whore
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-:- it feels good
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for all the times
i've thought of you
i'd only hoped that
you'd think of me too
only wishes
only dreams
but that was just
the way it seemed
i didn't think
you'd have the time
to indulge my wants
and hear my rhyme
and then you surprised me
late one night
we shared our thoughts
and it was right
but now it's hard
for me to say
why exactly i feel this way
but it doesn't matter
i don't care
i'm not wearing underwear
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-:- uncertainty
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i wait for you
and catch your eye
but never get
a simple hi
i used to think
that u wanted me
but now i feel
just too lonely...
i call your name
you look my way
you still smile
but i'm afraid to say...
so let me know
how u feel
so i can try
and start to heal
but maybe we
still have a chance
but i'm afraid
to stop and ask.
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-:- there is no trust
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you seemed happy with me
a new adventure to look forward to
everything was new
so many promises, future plans
was this an act?
why do you seem so changed?
i'm not supposed to be here alone
yoi should be with me
i sacrificed for you
threw away another for you
so now who do i find comfort with?
you leave me with nothing
at a time when we should have been rich
i can't get an answer from you
or myself
i'm still confused about
the turns my life has taken
no more promises
no more dreams
it's just easier to rely on myself
no more disappointment
no more surprises
alone i find myself
faced with the truth
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-:- uncertain future
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from far away
you smile at me
share your dreams...
and fantasies
it's the closest thing
i've found to love
but it still remains...
will you be the same
when i see you again
will your smile have changed
by the time i see you again
will you wait for me
so far away
what do you want from me...
so far away
i expect so much from you
i destroy myself
so i give up
and turn inward
have i found another happiness?
or just proved myself a hypocrite
so many questions
i'll never get to answer
maybe if i ignore them,
my problems will go away
just like you
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-:- and then what...
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unexpected meeting
we find each other
cheerful greeting
we turn away from another...
we're pushed together
renew our past
talk to one another
a future? we asked
a sudden complication
of which i'm not aware
i'm afraid to ask the question
i'd never even dare
my irresponsible ignorance
foolish pride and spite
keep me from the truth
who knows what's right
this happened in our past
our only other encounter
we should have learned
from our last mistake
i guess neither of us has changed
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-:- things change
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things have changed so quickly
but i don't seem to mind
i guess i wasn't ready
to see what i could find
or maybe i just wouldn't wait
for the plans i had inside
you were an excuse to put things off
a reason to brush aside
but now i know what i want
and it's not you...
so i guess i lied
i thought my feelings were real
maybe they were -:- i'll never know
so until i tell you
anything goes...
. :
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"life is a mystery,
everyone must stand alone."
-:- madonna
mystery #1 was written by girlie17 and edited by mogel.
mystery e'zine (c) copyright 1997. all rights reserved.
please direct all correspondance & submissions to mogel@dto.net.
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