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??????????????????????????????????????? Orange Cats Are Pretty!
? ????????????????????????????? ??????????? Author: Malice-Ter
????????????????????????????????????????????????? Date Of Release: 8/12/1993
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Time Released:4:13am
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
???????????????????????????????????????? Issue?26? Of OCAP ?????????????
?????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????
?Dedicated?  ????? ?          ????     If you are offended by the topic
To Freedome of Speech,        ? ??   listed below, then delete this file!
Freedom of The Press, And any
other civil liberty that we can exploit.

??????????????????????? You REALLY want to be ELyTE? ?????????????????????????

        Ok Boys and Girls this is MALICE-Ter Telling you K-Rad Super WareZ 
Cool D00dZ,some neato NFO. You call your Fav BBS (House Of Lame) and you 
do a New File Scan.To your suprise there is NO NEW UPLOADS. You go into shock 
but Have No Fear your Kitchen is Near, Ok Admit it your about 14 - 20 and your
onely you have no life (You have a Computer) And I bet you ALWAYS Dream about 
getting LAID but due to all your ZITS and Lack Of Friends your Stuck with your 
self (Which at times can be realy fun ((Some Times))I''ll get into that in a 
nother issue) Anyways as I was saying You can have Lots of fun in the Kitchen 
You can Fuck Plenty of Weird and Interesting foods,Well I have some 
reccomendations.

  1) A PenisButter FUCK.
  Well Lets ask you this did you ever Jam your Meat into a Can of Peanut 
  Butter? well if you did you''d relize that your dick gets all Stickey and 
  Feels Mushy so heres a though! Put the the PeanutButter can in the fridge 
  wait about 15 mins (Julia Child eat your heart out) Then stick your dick 
  in to it try to do this Fast while your nice and erect thinking of DOOM, 
  then shove the Peanut Butter in the Freezer (Make sure its not the fridge 
  again) ok,now,when ever you get the urge to merge and you don''t have the 
  money to splurge you can just take the can of Peanut Butter and Pump away. 
  

  2) A Cucumber RAM Rod.
  Ok now heres a neat resipe for you select few Females out there (Yes I''ve 
  seen You out there your so ugly you couldn''t get fucked by Boris (refer to 
  issue 4) so theres always a Cucumber around the house. Now all you realy 
  need to do is take down those Size 45 Spandex and neatly and Plant Head 
  First. Okokok for you stupid Tight As can be I have a Alternitive Method 
  for ya. But for you gals that can hold a cucumber in the croch you may want 
  to wash of that old mold and fungii first. Hey Be creative and get out the 
  potatoe pealer and carve a Dick or some thing. Oh Before for I forget 
  here''s the Alternative Method.

  3) The Carrot Crevice Cleanser 
  Ok don''t deny this some you out there are GAY! Yes Liquidanus We mean You!
  And the rest of the Freaky Funky Fuck up the But Club and we cannot forget 
  you Fat Fuckless Cows (You know who you are). Simple just drop them and 
  spread.Jam that carrot like theres no tomorrow just remember,someones 
  gonna have to eat that carrot.You can''t waste food just think of those fucker
  in somolia (oh ya all they do is Fuck and Die off.Hey there a bunch of bunny 
  rabbits,bet you wish you were there?)And make sure to wash off the carrot 
  and place it back then again why wash it off?



  4) The Fluffernutter Finger Fuck
  Ok this is EZ all you realy got to do is whip out and ol porn mag (Okokok I
  know you have none but dream of a Favorite Gif you have Don''t leave the 
  kitchen!)Now put that can of fluff and NUKE it for 2 mins. now take it out 
  hold in between you legs Now Imagine that hot Gif you have? and Finger and 
  Finger away.Hey Go amuse your friends with this knowlegde let a few SysOps 
  know they can do this on a lonely night if this dosn''t make you ELITE 
  nothing will.
  
  
  5) Sex Me No More.
  You Realy want to be elite huh? well you want to be able to be 
  True Full Time Elite and be able to get the latest wareZ the rest of your 
  life? Well theres really only one thing stopping you that may possibly make 
  you LOOSE INTREST, I know this is hard to beleive but its possible.Now  
  here''s a simple way to solve this dilema. Ok,get a cup of ICE COLD Water & 
  ICE.Manhood in hand,put it into the cup. I know its gonna hurt but think of 
  it this way NEVER EVER again will something get between you and the lastest 
  wareZ. So now that you Put your manhood in that cup.Now remove the cup 
  Place your meat on the table and pull out a sharp KNIFE,chop away. Chop 
  it all off,don''t worry you won''t feel a thing.CHOP CHOP!  And WAMMO Instant 
  K Rad Super WareZ dude for life. hey with out any social life possible 
  anymore I guess all you realy can do is work at Mickey D''s and BBS.

 
 

  Well thats all for now Kiddies next time You here from me Ill be 
  Writing:

  Look forward to A good Fuck with a cabbage patch kid.
  
  And a Realy Great Fuck For Under A Buck.

                                            MALICE-ter (A K-Rad Super WareZ
                                            Cool Dude gone Bad)


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