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The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results ("mini-JIR")
Issue Number 1993-02
December, 1993
ISSN 1072-7159
Key words:science humor,irreproducible results,Ig Nobel
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The Official Electronic mini-Organ of the Society for Basic
Irreproducible Research
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Produced jointly by
The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR) and
The MIT Museum
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1993-02-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS
1993-02-01 Table of Contents
1993-02-02 Purpose of the mini-Journal (*)
1993-02-03 Abstracts from JIR, vol. 38, no. 6, Nov/Dec 93
1993-02-04 Testifying to Congress: Our New Service
1993-02-05 JIR Recommends
1993-02-06 Warning: mini-JIR and the Expanding Universe
1993-02-07 Upcoming Events at the MIT Museum and Elsewhere
1993-02-08 Calls for Papers and Nominations
1993-02-09 How to Submit Articles to JIR (*)
1993-02-10 How to Subscribe (*)
1993-02-11 Copyright Notice (*)
1993-02-12 Irreproducible Section (*)
Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.
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1993-02-02 Purpose of the mini-Journal (*)
The mini-Journal of Irreproducible Results publishes news
about overly stimulating research and ideas. Specifically:
A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts
of research news and satire from the Journal of
Irreproducible Results (JIR).
B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. Ig Nobel
Prizes honor "achievements that cannot or should not be
reproduced." A public ceremony is held at MIT, in Cambridge
Massachusetts, every autumn. The ceremony is sponsored
jointly by JIR and by the MIT Museum.
C) News about other science humor activities conducted by
the MIT Museum and JIR.
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1993-02-03 Abstracts from JIR, vol. 38, no. 6, Nov/Dec 93
This section contains abstracts of articles that appear in
volume 39, number 6 (the November/December 1993 issue) of
The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR).
[PLEASE NOTE: JIR 38:6 is a special theme issue on the
subject of "Politically Incorrect Science."]
| FOR FULL TEXT (including lurid |
| photographs) OF THESE ARTICLES |
| SEE THE CURRENT ISSUE OF JIR. |
"The Saluting Fetus," by Carol B. Benson, M.D., and Peter M.
Doubilet.
A sonogram depicts a human fetus in the saluting position.
"The Mappeltree Soviet Science/Art Controversy," by Bruce
Gellerman.
A U.S. Senator is attempting to ban the showing of allegedly
"obscene" photomicrographs collected by NIH archivist Roger
Mappeltree. The issue is complex; the works were purchased
from agencies of the former Soviet Union under a funding
program that the Senator himself sponsored.
"The Politically Correct Periodic Table of the Elements," by
Robert Rose.
The author has revised the periodic table of the elements,
eliminating all sources of toxicity, pollution and
radiation, all isotopes and artificial elements, all sources
of greenhouse gases, and all causes of hypertension.
"The Guide to Politically Correct Cardiology," by Thomas
Michel.
The nomenclature of specific diagnoses may profoundly affect
a patient's well-being, self-image, and time to full
recovery. For example, a diagnosis of heart failure is
belittling, in that it says to the patient, "your heart has
failed." This guide provides more correct terminology.
"Virtual Academia -- Year 1 Report," by Anne Pamsum
Hufnagle-Chang and Viktor Asa Gupta-Duffy.
The authors report on the first year of a 16-universitiy
virtual reality project designed to replace many costly
aspects of today's universities. In these universities,
students, professors, classrooms, offices, and dormitory
facilites exist only as computer-based concepts.
"An Empirical Investigation of Multicultural Diversity," by
Bruce McAfee.
Two radically different approaches to promoting
multicultural diversity were studied. One university
conducted an extensive, expensive program of courses,
internships, workshops, etc. The other used a "smoke and
mirrors" approach. Both systems were found to be effective.
"Research Funding: New Art," by Stanley Rudin.
A photograph depicts a newly discovered artwork (Greco-
Hebrew, 5th century Athens, 2nd millenium Los Angeles)
portraying scientists in pursuit of funding for a study of
wealthy mice while an ethics committee and the Owl of Athena
look on.
"The Pet Silicone Implant," by John E. Christ.
The author reports on his campaign to enlist a medical
journal's aid in promoting a new use for existing
inventories of now-defunct manfacturers of silicone breast
implants.
"A Call for Scientific Correction," by Gordon Videen.
Scientists can an must reap the rewards of Revisionist
Science. Electrons are not negative, the earth's magnetic
poles are mislabeled, astronomy uses demeaning terminology,
all animals in their natural state are vegetarians, etc.
"Further Alternatives to Live Animals in Teaching Surgery,"
by Douglas Lindsey.
Several inanimate materials proved superior for teaching
surgery: 1) fresh, edible pig feet; 2) plastic soda straws
(unpeeled) for vein dissection; 3) skinned hog necks and
synthetic chamois for cricothyrotomy; fig tree limbs for
intraosseous infusion in small children.
"Guidelines for Equivocation in EEG Reports," By Robert. S.
Hoffman.
The interpretation of electroencephalograms (EEGs) is
necessarily imprecise, offering a pleasing intellectual
challenge to neurologists who engage in the activity. Other
physicians who must use the reports are not pleased. This
guide helps to bridge the gap in temperament.
"Technology Update: The Metor Shower," by Stephen Drew.
A new device is expected to give astronomers the first clear
photographs of meteors. It locates approaching meteorites,
washes them with what is in essence a spray of soapy water,
then photographs them in the moments before they enter the
upper atmosphere.
Interview with Nobel Chemistry Laureate (1976) William
Lipscomb.
Lipscomb discovered much of what we know about the structure
and bonding of boron compounds and of the general nature of
chemical bonding. In this interview, he explains his
controversial views about perfume and aftershave lotions,
offers advice for young people who are entering the field,
and suggests a candidate for the Ig Nobel Prize.
"How to Testify to Congress," by Shelby Miller.
Spurred by the firing of Will Happer as director of the U.S.
Department of Energy's chief research scientist, JIR
presents a new service: a database of currently acceptable
observations, theories, ideas and methods. Experts from
this field can be rented for appearances before Congress.
[PLEASE NOTE: An excerpt from this article appears in
section 1993-02-04 of this issue of mini-JIR.]
"Elegant Results" (regular column) by Alice Shirell Kaswell.
Styles, trends, and tidbits, culled from leading research
journals. In this issue: findings from the research journals
"Fighting Knives," and "Milk Cover Collector."
"Scientific Gossip" (regular column) by Stephen Drew.
Contains 100% gossip from concentrate. In this issue: Killer
Colognes; Stylish Processing; Virtual Population Growth;
Preferred Lighting; Intergalactic Deficit Reduction; A
Threat from the Middle; A Threat from the Middle; Virtual
Population Growth.
| FOR FULL TEXT (including lurid |
| photographs) OF THESE ARTICLES |
| SEE THE CURRENT ISSUE OF JIR. |
----------------------------------------------
1993-02-04 Testifying to Congress: Our New Service
The Society for Basic Irreproducible Research (SBIR) is
offering a new service to its members. For a small annual
fee, we provide experts to accompany you when you testify
before government agencies. These experts are well-versed in
government policies, procedures and rituals. Each is fully
qualified for the work Each has attended law school, worked
on a political campaign, and been a sports journalist. Three
of our experts have taken a college science course. All are
conversant with episodes of the first Star Trek television
series.
The service has a second part. Since 1955, SBIR has
maintained a database containing currently acceptable
observations, theories, ideas and even methods. The database
can now be accessed, via E-Mail or CD-ROM, for a modest
monthly charge. JIR subscribers receive a 3% discount.
The database contains acceptability criteria for more than
126 countries (including Latvia) across the entire range of
current scientific fields. Interdiscipinary issues may incur
a surcharge. JIR subscribers receive a 3% discount.
The service is called Politically Acceptable Science Service
(PASS). Further news about it will be reported in this space
in a future issue.
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1993-02-05 Warning: mini-JIR and the Expanding Universe
A report prepared by:
Ross Lazarus MB,BS MMed MPH GDipCompSci FRACGP FAFPHM,
Head, Epidemiology & Biostatistics Unit, Department of
Community Medicine, Westmead Hospital, Westmead, NSW 2145,
Australia. e-mail: rossl@gmu.wh.su.edu.au
and
Leonard X. Finegold, Department of Physics, Drexel
University, Philadelphia PA 19104 U.S.A.
e-mail: LXF@coasmail.physics.drexel.edu
This journal may constitute a serious hazard to the
Internet. Within a few hours of the announcement of its
existence, and before the first issue was sent over the
network, the rate of arrival of new subscription requests
climbed exponentially. At the end of the data sampling
period, the growth remained exponential. See figure 1 below.
Simple extrapolation shows that if this trend continues,
every human being on the planet will have subscribed at
least 2.72 times within the first two weeks. This behavior,
exhibited by such a large number of people, presents unique
research opportunities in several of the social sciences.
More detailed analysis of the subscription rates will appear
in the next edition if the Internet survives.*
(* And if the editor accepts the authors' next paper.)
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