💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › magazines › MINDWARP › mw-089.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 13:18:03.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
%%% %%% %%%% %%% %% %%%%%
%%%% %%%% %% %%%% %% %% %%
%% %%% %% %% %% %% %% %% %%
%% % %% %% %% %%%% %% %%
%% %% %%%% %% %%% %%%%%
// // //// ////// ////// //
\\ \ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\
// /// // //////// ////// ////// //
\\\\ \\\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\
/// /// // // // // // //
[ Mind Warp - Volume #6, Issue #09, File #89 ]
[ Excuses to Get Out of Class - by Raven ]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Excuses to Get Out of Class
[raven]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What? Another stupid list of ideas? Yup, this time, I've got
idiotic excuses to get out of class (many of which I have tried, some of
which actually worked...). Enjoy.
1) "I'm having female problems." (works for guys, too)
2) "I think I'm having a flashback, 'cause there's this ugly demon sitting
at my desk, and I'm scared. Can I go to the Substance Abuse Counselor?"
3) "I just got through 'talking' to my girlfriend, and now I've got blue
balls, can I go to the bathroom to (ahem) fix this?"
4) "Can I go to my counselor to see about changing classes? The chick who
sits in front of me is giving me wood, and I'm much too well hung for it
to go un-noticed."
5) "Can I go to the bathroom? I forgot to wipe..."
6) "I just smoked a fat blunt, can I go to the nurse for eye drops?"
7) "I just smoked a gram of crack, GIMME A PASS, BITCH!"
8) "I need to go ask my health teacher where I can purchase extra-large
condoms at.."
9) "I need to go ask my health teacher where I can purchase petite condoms
at.."
10) Put your hand over your mouth, inflate your cheeks, and run out of class
like you're gonna spew. Don't forget gagging noises. Go back to class
ten minutes later, apologize, and ask for a pass to the nurse.
If all else fails, play the race card:
"You won't gimme a pass because I'm (fill in ethnic backgroud here)! I'm
gonna sue!"
raven(69) <raven96@hic.net>
==============================================================================
E-Mail mustaine@wam.umd.edu to become a distributor!
==============================================================================