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        ? ? ?      Mighty           Issue #53
   ? ?    ? ? ?    illicit          "Conpoems"
  ? ? ? ? ? ??     Liquid           -By Conradz
  ?   ? ? ? ? ?    Kollections                    
?  ? -???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????


 +---------------------------------------+
 | Conrad's NUTTY ASCII Poems Volume 17  |
 | (c)1995 Conrad & Mother Goose/inc     |
 +---------------------------------------+


 Man's Best Friend
 -----------------
 I obtain amusement playing chess with my feline.
 He derives joy from creating friction on my leg.
 I yearn he would do that with aggrandized high body temperature!


 The Game
 ---------
 I hunger for binary libidinous innards,
 so that I could frolic
 twister with _both_ of my female forebears!


 Not the Same
 ------------
 Mark was a Herculean jewish schoolboy
 Who preferred to lend an ear to agreeable sound
 While operating with his receptacle
 (concealed by his blanket)
 In isolation, after nightfall...
 In a reverie about cinnamon ants!


 Blow
 ----
 I relish peeping at stark naked quadrupeds,
 they make me experience capricious times,
 similar to when I assimilate lactose,
 in the sunrise,
 with my next of kin, joe.


 don't
 -----
 I administer blood intravenously, mom.
 I don't give credence to my omnipotent being, sauted Harry.
 I don't believe in the canine tooth fairy.
 I don't believe in conscientious fish.
 I don't believe in disobedient movements.
 I don't believe in hippodrome beef cattle.
 I don't.


 Never
 -----
 My mammy instructed me it was corrupt to nudge the cockatoo in the eye.
 Hitherto, In my predicament, it was elementary to omit her warnings...
 Alas, I garroted Louis the Parrot!!!!!!!!!!!!


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 I really hope you enjoyed this installment of Poems by Conrad. If you want
 to help this starving artist get food and shelter, send $5 to:

 Conrad
 PO BOX 753
 Matteson, IL 60443

 I will, in return, come visit you and give you a back rub. (please?)

 My iNTeRNeT eMaiL bOx:  chucks@chinet.com
            complaints:  milk@ripco.com
         death threats:  president@whitehouse.gov

 Greets to: Grandaughter psycho (hubba hubba), Chuck, Evil Eye, Jory,
            The BARON, the midget from twin peaks, crippled boy from
            burger king kid's club, kevin mathiews.

  ??[An Offical Conrad(SM) Text File]????????
   Halo# = Two
   Date  = August 1, 1994
   Time  = 9:59 PM
   I plan to masturbate = (on a diet)
   I'd like to thank: Bill gates.. & the doods who did Microsoft Word
                      Phill MCrackin
  ???????????????????????????????????????????
  For more information call 1-800-686-3694

  Conrad's secret pete 2 of 10:  "colorfull"
  (when you put these all together _backwards_, it says something cool!)