💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › magazines › MILK › milk-021.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 13:12:47.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
? ? [MiLK] ? ?
? ? ? ?
? ? Mighty Issue #18 ? ?
??????????? illicit "Lemmy" ???????????
??????????? Liquid By Igor Shimsky ???????????
??????????? Kollections ???????????
??????????? ???????????
??????????? ???????????
Hello, my name is Lemmy. And I am a computer virus! Well most people think
of virii that go around deleting files and infecting memory, but I don't do
that. See I'm not a mean virus, but I'm a friendly one that really has a
sense of humor! Well to tell you about my past, I was created by the Virus
Creation Utility that some human downloaded from a BBS somewhere. He finally
made me to infect the FAT of a hard disk one day, but I the first cluster that
I hit was one of Leisure Suit Larry! I was still a young impressionable
virus that wa still open to new ideas. Well anyway after looking at the files
I realized, erasing and deletion isn't what I wanted to do! So I display some
letter on the CON driver that really seemed to piss off the human! He put in
a program by McAfee to seek and destroy me, but the dumbass human didn't
realize, was that I was just made, and virtually undetectable! So anyway.
Now I spend most of my time on a computer of a friendly female human that likes
the same kind of music I do, and well we just get along real well! Our
favorite song is the one from Second Reality of the Future Crew, but that's
off topic. I jump around her C: drive sometimes, I lay around in the data,
and every once in a while I jump around over her nice new modem to other
computers! Well the sysops of the BBSs don't know about me, but I don't cause
too much chaos! Until one day, when I landed on a evil computer that had these
really bad virii on. First that captured me, and took me to their high virus.
The ruler virus asked me where I came from, and it turns out, both of us were
created by the same guy. I was an outlaw, because I was an anarchist virus!
I did the opposite of what viruses were supposed to do! So anyway, the high
virus got some of his guard files to torture me! First they compressed me,
all of a sudden, I was no longer a COM file, but I was a squooshed ARJ file!
At least they could've had some respect and used ZIP to squish me! So anyway,
here I am 62% of my original size, they they sent me to LPT1 a couple times,
then they took the hard copy file maker thing that humans call printers (I
can't to this day figure out why), but then they did a real cruel thing, they
connected the printer to COM2!!! Then they sent me one bit at a time to the
hard copy thing! I was so embarassed! They they uncompressed me, they ran
me through a compiler! And they started looking at me insides! OUCH!!! I
was so violated! Then as I couldn't take it anymore, the virus police
came through and killed all the evil virii! Since I was now a ASM file, the
virus police didn't get me. So there I sat for weeks un-assmebled! One day,
the human of the computer came and found me. He didn't remember me, so he
compiled me, and then when he found out I was a virus, he called in the virus
police. It was too late, I already jumped on COM1 and was out in the phone
line somewhere! I didn't know where I was, and I didn't know how I'd get
home, but thats a different story! I hope you had a load of fun reading about
my adventure, I think I'll go get some MiLK, and maybe I'll tell you another
story on another MiLK carton!
????????????????????????[MiLK] Information?????????????????????????????????
[MiLK] Sights - WHQ - Barney's Pleasure Palace! (708)965-3098
DiSt- The Lunatic Phringe (708)232-0565
Mech World (708)757-0116
The Acropolis (708)557-2826
[MiLK] Member Listing -
James Hetfield Plaid Wilderbeast Medicine Man
Nyarlathotep Mendeleev Igor Shimsky
Epic Black Justice Stash
[MiLK] Issue Number - 21
[MiLK] Issue Size - 4619 Bytes
[MiLK] Date of Production: 3/22/93
????????????????????? Long Live The Machine ?????????????????????????????