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In the closing days of WWII Allen Dulles of the CIA met secretly with high-ranking SS officers, including Karl Wolff. What did they decide? We can only make an educated guess based on present conditions which, at least, are richly suggestive. What follows is speculative fiction. DULLES: Karl, I don't think you guys should surrender. My brother, John, and I have always liked German Big Business and life in the OSS was pretty mundane -- not like my frat house days. You guys, with all your neato emblems and mystic rituals must've had a lot of fun in the war. So I think we should join forces in a secret new post-war elite. WOLFF: But Hitler is a madman; he's losing the war. Only I.G. Farben supports him any longer. So who would bankroll us? DULLES: I've been thinking about that. Karl, do you know most of the walth in MAmerica is owned by elderly women? WOLFF: Also in Germany -- especially since the war has made so many widows. DULLES: My assistant, Mary Bancroft, is in therapy with Carl Gustav Jung and he has a theory I think will appeal to rich little old ladies. Jung thinks the stron gfather-figure in the Germanfamily conditioned Germans to accept a national strongman like Hitler. WOLFF: Yes, we were wrong to listen to Htiler; he's losing the war. DULLES: And that is exactly what we will tell those rich old bags -- that Germany went wrong because Germans were taught to listen only to men. WOLFF: That's madness! Men are superior to women, just as the State is superior to the individual and we Caucasions are better than most people. Who fights the wars? Men! Who starts them? The State! And who benefits? Caucasions! Wars provide great opportunities for heroism and sacrifice! DULLES: Of course. Of course. If we will them that, though, we won't get their loot. Besides, some of them are Catholic and therefore officially against racism. And, anyway, why take money from those who agree with us if we can get it from the opposition, instead? We'll offer Jung's idea as a secret teaching of a secret society. WOLFF: In other words -- what you American scall a con game? DULLES: Yes. We milk the old hags for all they're worth in the name of everything decadent like peace, equality and liberty -- and, of course, matriarchy. WOLFF: But will not she who pays the piper call the tune? DULLES: Not if we keep her divided against the rank-in-file under us, the young men who do the dirty work -- leaving us as the arbiters holding the fulcrum of hidden power. WOLFF: But how? DULLES: What do little old ladies and Catholics all agree about that healthy young men -- such as joined Youth for Hitler and OSS -- will find outrageous? WOLFF: (half joking) Jacking off, maybe. DULLES: That's it! We"ll get the little old ladies to tell the young guys not to masturbate, or only to masturbate when given permission. Then we'll play both ends against themiddle. WOLFF: Today, silly arguments about jacking off; tomorrow, famines in Africa, Asia and Latin America. I can see it already! KULTCA #16-1986 c 1986 Kerry W. Thornley Available from: Illumi-Net (404) 377-1141