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A Hamster Bedtime Story
_______________________
The characters (purely fictional of course *cough*):
Evilster (Evilster) - Fictional Ex-friend of the nark
IgnoGerbil (IG) - NARK
DamnedHamster - Fictional Storyteller (Me!@#)
#hamsters - The fictional channel this took place on
hamsters - Fictional term for people that hang
out on #hamsters
Disklaimer: All characters in this fictional story are
fictional. Any resemblance to real or other
fictional characters is purely unintentional.
Fictional (had to say it once more).
The story:
IG and Evilster were good friends at a college on the East
Coast. Every day they would hang out, messed with their
computers, drank coffee, gossiped/talked, and had fun. Since
they both had computers, and both had net accounts, they both
developed a sense of curiosity about the internet. Sometime
after activating their accounts, IG decided she wanted to get
on IRC, and Evilster said "I'll get us there". Two days later,
they were both IRCing and having a great 'ole time.
Weeks passed, and they met a guy that seemed willing
to help them out with some unix/irc_client problems (Enter
DamnedHamster). One night, the three of them sat in a channel and
worked on the problem of compiling an IRC client for their
home accounts, so they could easily access IRC without
telneting. All I could tell from conversation was, they were
the only two people who wanted to IRC from their home
accounts. Both seemed pretty cool in general, and the
challenge of getting a client running was quite fun.
As time passed, I found out that very few people from
their college used their net accounts, and that those that did
only used mail (roughly 15,000 accounts, never more than 100
people on from their college at once). I also found out, that
they were basically the only two people from their college who
knew of, and used IRC at all. During these weeks of IRCing,
IG had problems of all sorts. Common sense eluded her in many
cases which frustrated the hell out of her counterpart, which
caused tension between them.
The whole time this was going on, Evilster was becoming good
friends with all the people on #hamsters. Feeling left out, IG
wanted to get in with a similiar group of hamsters. It was a
matter of days before she became a class one info-whore. Within
hours of hanging out with other hamsters, she had given her
password out to several of these hamsters in hopes of being
accepted, and learning more about this great hamster cage we
all live in.
If you don't know much about the net, and systems, and
operating systems, let me fill you in on something. As soon
as a hamster has a new place to play, they explore their
surroundings quite well. They look for 'backdoors' to become
the Big Hamster of the area, and eventually take 'Root' on a
system. Once IgnoGerbil had given her password out, several
of these wiley hamsters invaded the system. It took less than
a day for her entire system to lose its security. The whole
time IG was handing her password out, Evilster was
explaining the consequences of doing so. Her response, "But I
change it everyday!@#$". Of course, we all know that once a
hamster is in your room, he doesn't have to leave. He often
establishes other routes into the room.
A month passes, Evilster moves away to live with
DamnedHamster, IG feels left out, gives her password out to more
hamsters, and things progress...
During this month that passes, Evilster loses her
account due to wiley hamsters. Despite the loss of the
account, she continues to use DamnedHamster's account to IRC and chat
with the other hamsters. During her process of 'learning' the
ways of the hamster, IG decides to start teaching her sysadmin
the same thing. Sysadmin is quite upset at all the holes into
his room, and spends time patching them up one at a time, only
to discover(through mail from IgnoGerbil) that there are
more holes. IG also decides to inform the sysadmin, that
Evilster and herself are the reason behind all the wiley
hamsters invading the system. By this time, even some warez puppies
had root at their system.
Current status in our story... Evilster is still out of her
original account, IG has given her password to over 20
hamsters, warez pups had taken root at the system, IG was in
continual contact via email with 'Sysadmin', IG was still
looking for a group of hamsters to play with.
Throughout email contact, not only did IG inform the
sysadmin of her own actions and associations, she also
informed him of Evilster's habit of talking with hamsters. Days
later, IG informed 'Sysadmin' of certain other hamsters and
their nicknames who were suspected of playing in the system.
The rodents of #hamsters caught wind of this and didn't like
it. IgnoGerbil soon found she wasn't liked in #hamsters,
and became an outcast to their little world. Word spread of
her narcing to other hamsters in other channels, and soon, she
was back chatting with old irc friends.
The more word spread, the more outraged IG became.
Here she was, wanting to be a hamster one day, but all the
other hamsters hated her!@$! Revenge came to her mind..So she
mailed Evilster and threatened her several times, in various
ways. Everything from leaking her info, to narcing her
more/again to 'Sysadmin'. Evilster reminded IG that to do
that would enrage the other hamsters, and they might get wiley
in the system, and play rough.
And the story continues.. as each day passes, more of
this story is written.. (ie: a sequel to this story maybe!)
To sum up what IG narced on:
Herself
Her ex-best friend
Her ex-best friend's boyfriend
Denizens of #hamsters
Various other hamsters by name
Different holes into their realm
Just for reference, 'Sysadmin' has always hated IRC
for various reasons. Because of the troubles IG has brought
from IRC, he is currently using some wierd thing called 'Dee
En Are' on indials to their realm. He is also monitoring all
mail in and out of various accounts, carefully watching the
logs, and still staying in touch with his favorite narc.
Sources: IgnoGerbil - Via email, vox conversations, and
various irc logs.
DamnedHamster - Via observation.
Evilster - Relays of vox conversations and
various irc logs.
I beg you fellow hamsters.. flee to a different realm,
frolic in other pastures rich with fresh grass and NO FUCKING
NARKS.
DamnedHamster
PS: /mode #hamsters +b *!*garner@*oswego*
/mode #hamsters +b *!*ivory@*eidos*