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$ .d""b. .d""b. HOE E'ZINE #1079
[-- $""b. $ $ $ $ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
$ $ $ $ $ss$ "The Story of The Alice and The Needle"
$ $ $ $ $ by Caitlin
$ $ $ $ $ $ 05/15/00
[-- $ $ $ $ $ $ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
$ $ "TssT" "TssT"
Once upon a time there was a strange pubescent girl. When she was
much younger she used to play in the dandelion fields, talk to pigeons,
and sing folk songs about sunshine and angel wings. But now her song had
taken on a much darker, more haunting tone. She was 13-years-old this
summer, when the people finally stopped questioning her about her sadness.
"It's just teenage angst!" they'd say.
"She'll grow out of it, I suppose."
"She's going to be a beautiful woman someday."
Her name was Lillybelle. She smelled of pink grape fruits and
looked like a daisy, white-blonde hair cascading down her back and light
apricot-colored skin covered modestly, yet loose and freely, in white
worn cotton dresses, and electric-blue eyes. Summer was here, she was 13,
and she officially began her journey.
"Why does the grass grow so tall?" thought Lillybelle, "They never
told me why this field is so verdant and impressive."
She wandered along.
"What is impressive anyway?" she questioned aloud. "Why can't I
be as impressive as this field--this grass--this whole valley."
She coughed and sat down on a rock. She looked at her hands and
then looked up at the sky. She lit a cigarette and she wondered about
everything that she ever was taught. She felt the droplets gathering in
her eyes. An hour had passed and she was still crying. She decided she
didn't want to be Lillybelle anymore. She changed her name to Digit and
got up and walked into the forest.
Walking and walking and walking some more, she finally came across
a talking needle.
"Hello there, Digit," said the needle.
"Well, hel--wait.. How did you know my name? I just changed it
less than three hours ago!"
"Digit--It's because of fate. Everything you've ever been taught
has led you to believe that things happen for a reason, right? Well I am
the reason you were even born."
"REALLY??" she said. She was very determined to find out why she
was here, and she had never seen a talking needle before. She curiously
approached it and touched the tip. She flicked it and glitter flew
everywhere. Her mouth dropped.
"See? How could you not be meant for anything that is as
beautiful as me?" the needle said, "You know that you're as good as me."
Digit and the needle sat in the middle of the forest for hours.
They watched colors and sheep and cherries fly by their eyes. The needle
began to kiss and touch Digit all over her white cotton dress. He left
stains all over her cotton, and she started to become ashamed.
"Needle--you know--if people see these stains all over me--well,
they might think bad things," Digit cried.
The needle comforted her. He told her that she was beautiful and
that things would turn out for the best. He told her that nothing bad
could ever happen to them because they were meant to be.
Three years had passed. Digit was 16 now, and she was still
living with the needle in the forest. They had three children, and her
cotton dress was still stained and it was even torn now.
"You know, Needle, if anyone ever comes into the forest.. I will
be very embarrassed. I don't want anyone to see me like this," Digit said.
"It's okay, my love, things will be better soon, I promise."
Digit believed the needle because she remembered the magic and the
glitter from when she first came upon the needle. She believed he never
meant any harm. She realized at that moment that she still hadn't found
out why she was really here.
"Needle--you told me that I am here for you and you're here for
me. Well, then why am I so damn unhappy? Why do we have three children
and why are we living in this deep, dark forest?"
"Shut up, you stupid wench!" the needle snapped, "Just wait until
five years passes! Then you'll see! I promise!"
Digit cried next to her favorite tree and than nursed her three
children one by one. They cried and she ignored them the best that she
could. She then napped beside them. Her sleep was restless and filled
with horrible nightmares. She dreamed of her family back near the green
field. She dreamed of her dandelions and the smell of grapefruit. She
realized that was what was missing.
Something crashed and she woke up instantly. She remembered every
detail of her dream and she began to get up. She wanted to run away back
to the field and to her family. When she stood up and caught her
balance, she saw the needle in front of her.
"Where do you think you're going, Digit?"
"I have to leave, Needle. I can't take this anymore. I'm not in
love with you. You lied to me when I was younger and I didn't know any
better. I want to go back and continue my education with my people," she
announced.
"But Digit! You don't love me anymore?!?!"
"I never did," she stated and with that the needle fell to the
ground, motionless. It lost whatever magic it had at that moment, and
became just another object manufactured by human beings. Digit began to
walk past the needle but tripped and fell. She landed right on the
needle and it stabbed her eye.
She stood up with the needle sticking out of her eye, and realized
she felt no pain--no new pain from the protrusion and no more pain from
the co-dependence she experienced with the needle. The blood ran down her
face and she began to rise above the ground, flying through the treetops,
knocking branches to the ground of the forest.
It took Digit twenty years to realize she would never get out of
that forest. She smoked 14,600 packs of cigarettes, drank 9,860 bottles of
vodka, and clawed at her skin constantly. She flew around in circles, but
the needle no longer told her what to do. It stayed in her eye and never
talked to her again. On the twenty-first year she stopped tearing her skin
apart, found her children, and built a trailer in the outskirts of the
forest, near the green valley. She could never leave, but would devote
her life to teaching her children how not to be. They lived happily ever
after.
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[ (c) HOE E'ZINE -- http://www.hoe.nu HOE #1079, BY CAITLIN - 5/15/00 ]