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     $     .d""b. .d""b.                  HOE E'ZINE #1059
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     $  $ $  $ $ss$               "Don't Step On Stumpy"
     $  $ $  $ $                          by Puce
     $  $ $  $ $  $                      04/7/00
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     $  $ "TssT" "TssT"

	"But if you please, what are munchkins?"  "The little people who
 live in this land; it's Munchkin land."  Oh, but if it only were!  At the
 beginning of the previous millennium, midgets really had a place in the
 world.  Documentation from the Medieval and Renaissance periods show that
 there were many more midgets then than there are now.  Back then, they
 were much more a part of mainstream society.  Shakespearean plays often
 had midget performers, and the many Louis's of France had many midgets in
 their courts.  Midget entertainers were important back then, and although
 they weren't a heavily regarded part of society, they did add a small
 contribution.
	Midgets languished in obscurity (with the exception of The Wizard
 of Oz) until the 1980's when shows like Different Strokes and Webster
 showed the modern world just how inspirational and heart-warming midgets
 can really be.  Thanks to Gary Coleman and Emmanuel Lewis, once again, the
 power of midgets was brought home to American families.  Thus we saw the
 beginnings of the variety of emotions that can only be conveyed through
 midgets.  Gary Coleman was the tough, no nonsense kind of midget, while
 Emmanuel Lewis was more of the naive, easily manipulated, yet still
 innovative midget.
	Equally noteworthy, was the 1988 Ron Howard/George Lucas film
 entitled Willow, staring Warwick Daus, who charmed everyone, including Val
 Kilmer, his co-star.  Warwick introduced us to another kind of midget; the
 heroic kind.  Finally we came face to face with the facts that while
 midgets are small, they can go to great lengths to get what they want and
 save the world from evil.  Furthermore, this movie showed us something new
 and inspiring that may not have ever crossed our minds before.  Anyone who
 has seen it can think back to the moment when Willow and his wife are
 reunited and come running towards each other, so happy to be back together
 safe and sound.  That was a beautiful moment of pure midget love and more
 of that needs to be seen.
	But now we have entered a new millennium and what I want to know is
 what is going to happen to the midgets?  It's all fine and good to have
 movies like Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me, come out and start an
 exploitive obsession with "Mini-me".  But really, movies like this only
 seem to degrade midgets and put them down.  Mini-Me was used as more of a
 prop, than a person.  More movies should be made with midget actors
 playing roles that regular people might play.  For example, why must it
 always be the case that Arnold Schwartzenager gets to play action parts.
 And I don't see any reason why Warwick couldn't tackle a James Bond role.
	A recent movie was The Island of Dr. Moreau.  Although this film
 wasn't too centered around midgets, it did have one in it and I was
 overwhelmed with emotion.  However, I was, at the same time, a little
 confused by the treatment of that midget.  This midget was seemingly
 respected, but he was also dressed exactly identical to Marlon Brando's
 character.  Although I'm sure that if normal people each had a similar
 looking midget of their own to mirror them in every way (except height)
 they would be thrilled.  But I'm not sure that midgets want to be carbon
 copies of regular people.  They have their own style and voices and should
 be respected as individuals, not little clones.
	Midgets offer to the world, what no one else can; a miniature
 outlook on life.  Mainstream society should reach down and open their arms
 to midgets because how else will we really know what it's like for them.
 And in this way, we can better relate and perhaps, in a small way, live
 vicariously through them.  There have been countless times in my life when
 I have wanted to be smaller for some reasons, and midgets get that
 opportunity without even trying.
	I have to make a small confession here.  I personally suffer from
 midget envy.  Things just seem so much easier at 3 feet from the ground.  
 I know that that's not the case and that really, I should feel very sorry
 for midgets, but I just can't help but feel a small twinge of jealousy
 whenever I see one.
	Take Webster for instance.  Emmanuel Lewis will always hold a
 special place in my heart.  Forever, whenever I think of dumb waiters,
 immediately I think of little Webster, always being small enough to fit
 inside of his, and making me constantly jealous of the life he lead.  
 Like that one time when those boys were going to try to rob Webster's
 house, and he hid in the dumb waiter and then called 911.  He had a way to
 hide and then save the day, and that's something that I never would have
 had the chance to do.  I'm so envious that midgets will always have a
 place to hide, or be able to squeeze in to.  They never have to grow up,
 or pay for subway tokens, and they could, if they wanted, play in
 playgrounds or the ballroom at Chuck E. Cheeze's through their entire
 lives.  Like Jello, there's just always room for midgets.
	But despite my envy, looking at Webster's world made me want more
 from mine, but still appreciate what I had.  Webster's small dreams are
 continually helping me to reach for my higher ones.  I guess this is just
 another reason why I want midgets to be utilized more in entertainment
 fields, and respected more in society.  I am both envious *and* inspired
 by them.
	Speaking of inspiration, the reason why I am writing this essay at
 all is because Gary Coleman inspired me.  My boyfriend worked at an online
 company called UGO networks.  They recently created a Gary Coleman
 Webathon trying to raise money for this all time favorite midget actor.
 Gary has been in need of money ever since the cancellation of Different
 Strokes, when his parents took all his money from him.  He has worked odd
 jobs ever since, most recently as a security guard.
	Recently, Gary himself came to the company and shook every
 person's hand there, thanking them for their efforts.  Gary, despite any
 violent tendencies, was polite and grateful.  My boyfriend said that Gary
 even played video games with people, and let them win often.
	Which brings me to another point.  Midgets are polite and grateful
 and have to deal with a lot of abuse that average-sized people don't ever
 come into contact with.  Assault on their part should be looked past, in
 light of their size.  I'm not saying that psychotic midgets should be
 given special treatment, but as far as small time assault is concerned,
 it's highly unlikely that midget assault does much damage on normal people
 anyway.  Therefore, in Gary's case, I think he should be allowed moments
 where he can relieve some frustration.  Especially since Different Strokes
 was canceled.  Furthermore, I think it must be really hard to be a midget
 security guard.
	Unfortunately, today, I get the feeling that many midgets are
 trying to hide from the world.  When any are spotted, many people seemed
 shocked and surprised.  This should not be.  People need to come to terms
 with the fact that midgets are a part of society.  Therefore, they should
 do things to make the world a more accessible place for midgets.  Things
 should not be put on terribly high shelves, if that can be avoided.
 Avenues should be shortened, so that they aren't as long and grueling,
 especially for little legs.  But most importantly, normal children should
 be much more educated about midgets so that they too can grow up
 appreciating them and realizing their value.
	Society can do a lot better, as far as midgets are concerned.
 Their treatment today is simply mediocre.  Midgets are small but mighty,
 and deserve their place.  We should appreciate them forever, not just when
 it is convenient or trendy.  Midgets should not have to bear exclusion or
 torment from average-sized people and they should be allowed to be angry
 and violent if need be.  Who knows, midgets could be a step up on the
 ladder of evolution: one day it might be a small world after all.

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 [ (c) HOE E'ZINE -- http://www.hoe.nu        HOE #1059, BY PUCE - 4/07/00 ]