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 ggg                           "Running Again"                         ggg
 $$                             by - Mutter                           $$
 $$                                                                   $$
 $$        [ HOE E-Zine #996 -- 12/25/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ]     .,$$
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	"When was the last time you ran?"
	I mean really sprinted for no good reason.
	I mean, damn, did you have to think about that?  That's fucking
 sad.  When I was young I used to run all the time.  Now I have to think
 to remember the last time I ran.  There's something disturbing about
 that.
	No one was chasing me then.
	No one is chasing me now.
	Youth should be about activity running energy celebration of
 movement and life and god bless my legs and my arms and my ability to do
 nothing effectively.
	Youth is where I find myself now--in its most unrestrained,
 chaotic, natural sense.  Movement urged forward, pushed ahead by the blur
 of the drum sticks, the quick fingering of the guitarist and the
 screeching wailing amplified voice of the singer who's begging us to
 move (for the love of all that is sacred, Move!).
	to try to break the empty space around us.  To fucking take part
 and everyone's doing their thing and even the guy with his feet in the
 air understands as his head hits the ground.
	we all understand; understand that we don't understand and that
 "understanding" is probably highly overrated anyway.
	Thumppp thum thump the bass line lays the mood and a short girl
 starts punching me in the back. I realize she's life-incarnate in a tight
 shirt and too much makeup and give her a good push back into the crowd.
	Unpredictable chaos. For it's nature. Losing yourself in this
 chaos means a release of everything safe. Cause life isn't safe and if
 you're safe you're living in death cause death has no risk, only life,
 fucking coward.
	Accelerate.  This is truly ballet.  A dance that can't be
 choreographed.  One of the dancers punches me in the testicles.  I play
 my part and blindly swing at his head.  Suddenly the crowd starts to
 pacify.  The band gets ready and you can feel the excitement building,
 building.  The guy in front of me starts to rock violently.  He has it.
 He really has it and I watch him, fascinated as he grabs hold of it and
 goes with it.  Go, man, go.
	Building building... it's as if the world is about to end.  This
 is my church.  This is my cathartic, religious experience. My celebration
 of the nature of things.  My vehicle is the music and my priests and
 priestesses come at me with swinging arms and a rhythm.  Here it comes.
 Mindless screams -- Hallelujah!  The band's about to bring it.  The crowd
 really feels it coming now.  Bring it.  Time works perfectly here.  
 Bright flash.
 	clickBANG!  The band explodes like a shotgun and so does the
 crowd.  No one's feet touch the ground and it occurs to me that
 everything is apeshit.  Everyone loses themselves and gets it (just for a
 second) as experience is at its peak.
 	Kicking, screaming, flailing arms, hair and sweat.  Youth.

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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!             HOE #996, BY MUTTER - 12/25/99 ]