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 ggg                   "A Model Citizen's Viewpoint"                   ggg
 $$                           by -> Basehead                          $$
 $$                                                                   $$
 $$        [ HOE E-Zine #968 -- 12/16/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ]     .,$$
 `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'

	When you get an itch, it doesn't go away quickly.  Not even when
 the deeds done.  Ask me seven different times and you'll get seven
 different answers.  It's a trip, man!  In the back of your mind, that's
 what takes up that little space.  Like the part of your back you can't
 scratch, even with a back-scratcher.

   	So now what?

   	It's on to a life of this nonsense, I suppose.  Moaning and
 wailing, not quite escaping some basic facts about the situation.  It
 happening again and again until you wonder:  How long will they let this
 slide?  A long time.  And that doesn't go a long way when it comes to
 helping YOU out.  Regurgitating reasons back into your head is easy when
 you're free and clear.  What about that day in the future, with the big
 billowing black cloud over it?  Maybe that day, it's not so easy.

   	But that's then, this is NOW.

	I know what you're saying, and it's understandable.  There's a lot
 of different angles here.  But what really matters?  Will you figure it
 out in time?  When is the end of the line, and what's your play until
 then? Live every day as if it was your last.  No, every second.  That's
 pretty good advice, even if you weren't you, and you hadn't done what you
 did.  Shit, is there anything I can tell you that isn't therapist
 gobbledygook?  Well, I can tell you this:  These bars don't budge, and
 the bathrooms here reek of shit and piss, unsurprisingly.

	You're younger than I am.  Not sure if that matters, but let's say
 it does.  I could say you've got your whole life ahead of you, but you
 don't really.  Your whole life is actually behind you.  You became you
 before you read your first Classic Novel.  No, the 'whole life' you have
 ahead of you is no sure thing at all.  You've got _A_ life ahead of you,
 but it could end in five minutes.  I could end it in five minutes.  You
 can quote me on that.

	I don't want to disappoint you.  I wish there were juicy things to
 tell.  I'm sorry my daddy didn't shove his cock in my mouth when i was
 six.  That's _kind of_ what you want to hear, I think.  I could have a
 field day with fabrications.  Fornications.  Charades where I stomp
 around angrily, mimicking illicit sex acts by sliding my finger in and
 out of a hole made with my other hand.  You could deduce a whole page
 full of nonsense about that.  I don't believe in Benefits of Doubts,
 though.  I don't believe it would be taken as a good-natured poke at my
 supposed 'archetype.' No, I got nothing but love from day one.  Nothing
 but love.  You can draw a big fucking heart at the top of the page if you
 want.

	I made it sound like seeing death around you was easy, but it
 isn't.  Sometimes you cry, sometimes you don't.  Depends on your mood I
 guess.  Like I said, I wish there was a whole lot more to tell.  The
 'Instruments Of Darkness' were simple household items, and the meetings
 were pretty standard chance encounters.  I don't know what you want from
 me, really. When I get an itch, I have to scratch it.  And sometimes
 there's only one way.

	I'm a model citizen in every way but one.

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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!           HOE #968, BY BASEHEAD - 12/16/99 ]