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 ggg                        "J Paws and the Sad"                       ggg
 $$                          by - Uberfizzgig                         $$
 $$                                                                   $$
 $$        [ HOE E-Zine #962 -- 12/16/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ]     .,$$
 `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'

	It was a Thursday morning in Cleveland. Everyone expected it to be
 a regular Thursday morning, even though there was no advertising allowed
 today. If there's one thing Drew Carrey did as mayor that would be
 remembered, it was to ban all advertising on Thursday. This opened up all
 the local stations to re-air old radio broadcasts of football games the
 Browns won. But even with all this, people were expecting it to be a
 regular Thursday. They were eating their eggs and cereals, and listening
 to the garbage trucks hoisting the dumpsters outside their apartment
 buildings.

	The noise of garbage always woke up J Paws, not because the
 process of urban garbage collection by machine was noisy, but because J
 Paws was not quite sleepy enough to remain in bed anymore by the time
 things could be heard. Today however, J Paws heard a different sound. A
 subtle rumbling behind the noise of garbage. It was going to be a great
 Thursday.

 	Last night at the bar, J Paws put $20 in the Jukebox and selected
 all the songs no one in the bar other than himself liked. It took awhile
 to select all those songs, and he had to leave before the first one was
 over. He was that kind of person, but unlike other people of that type, J
 Paws had recently thrown 1000 octopus high up into the stratosphere.
 They'd be in orbit as long as the Jukebox played, or as long as their
 velocity held. J Paws wasn't sure if it was music or physics that
 governed the octopus, but he was sure it was the Sad that governed him.

	The Sad is what made J Paws do all those little things. Because of
 the Sad, he would save up all the extra packets of taco sauce and catsup
 he'd get from Taco Bell and McDonalds. They could be used later, and it
 was wasteful to just throw them out. There would be enough time to count
 them all and see if any were missing in his sleep. The amount and
 position of condiments was more important to J Paws than when they had
 been used, and he could only remember them in his sleep. Sleep that night
 went well again for J Paws, and waking up went even better. It was
 Thursday, and while the garbage trucks were hoisting the dumpsters, 1000
 octopus rained down on the city of Cleveland. This Thursday was
 different. J Paws was governed by the octopus now. That night he would
 remember using up all his condiments.

	THE END.

	Author's note: this story contains NO metaphors or symbolism.

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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!        HOE #962, BY UBERFIZZGIG - 12/16/99 ]