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 $$                          by -> Weirdfreak                         $$
 $$                                                                   $$
 $$              (* HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #920 -- 11/30/99 *)          .,$$
 `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'

	Recently, I have become known as the "Tom Green" of my school. Is
 this good? I'm not quite sure yet. The "title" come with allot of
 hardships and responsibilities. I do shit nobody else has the balls to.
 It's all in good fun though. Well, some times it doesn't turn out so fun.
 I will be telling you about two such experiences. Both dealing with girls
 ending up hitting/smacking me. Enjoy...

	*** Case 1: The Arabian Cow Killer

	I was on the bus home from school one afternoon and I had the urge
 to annoy somebody. I looked around, and I saw my target. Somebody had
 leather on the bottom of their back pack. So do I, but who cares. I
 leaned over the seat and said, "Do you know how many cows died for your
 back pack?". He had no clue what I was talking about. I then started
 rambling nonstop about the poor baby cows and how they bled on the grass
 for his back pack. He was getting pissed. I had to go further though. I
 sat back in my seat and chanted, "Cow Killer". I said it 15 - 20 times
 and I noticed his sister was getting pissed. I didn't care, I just kept
 on saying it. Then, out of no where, she jumped up and started swatting
 at me. I was like "It was a joke! What the fuck are you doing!?!". Then I
 remembered about the cow being sacred to the Muslims. I felt bad... nah,
 it was still funny. Things settled down, but she started swatting at me
 again when I got off the bus. It was crazy.. but all in the name of fun.
 :)

	Lesson Learned: Dead cows piss off Arabian chicks!

	*** Case 2: The Quarter Hoe Turns Me Down

	Yet again, I was on the bus ride home. This time I wasn't in a
 really "annoy people mood"... ok, just not as much as normal. A whole
 bunch of people were arguing about some girl and some doods sister and
 some shit. There was yelling and all sorts of shit. I don't get involved
 with those matters, but I do listen. Shit man, it's a long ride home. It
 was dull as fuck, until I heard something I could use... "Then why you be
 givin' head fo' a cota?". In case you not down with the "jive" that
 translates too, "They why did you give oral sex to somebody for a
 quarter?". Make more sense? I thought so. Any ways, I fished around my
 pockets and found it... A nice shiny quarter. I had to wait for the right
 moment. It got quit for a second so I stood over the seat, a flashed it
 at her... "I gotta quarter right here for you baby!". Then it came! Five
 punches to my head. That didn't hurt though, the worst part was she
 crunched my soda can and it got on my new cargo pants, along with wasting
 half the soda! She was so mad... but it was all in the name of fun...
 right?

	Lesson Learned: Quarter Hoes don't always do it for a quarter!

	*** Kudos go out to Ryan and Justin for keepin' me sane on the bus
 and always providing me with shit to piss people off!

	Latez!  

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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #920, WRITTEN BY WEIRDFREAK - 11/30/99 ]