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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #878
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Info Commercials Are The Devil"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by CannibalButterfly
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 10/16/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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As I answered the door bell, I was shocked to find an ambulance
vehicle and a paramedic in front of me.
I was curious about why the paramedic had come, so I asked politely,
"May I help you?"
"Are you Mrs. Fletcher?"
"Well," I said, "actually it's just Ms. Fletcher now."
"We received a call in which you said you had fallen, but couldn't
get up. Is that correct Ma'am?"
"What the hell took you so long? I made that call over 3 years ago!"
"Well, you see Ms. Fletcher, we received so many calls at the Medic-
Alert station, that we were unable to answer each of them as quickly as we
would have liked to. Instead, we put the patients on a waiting list."
"In case it's not obvious to you, I have gotten up since the time I
made that call and I no longer need your services."
The paramedic then asked, "If you don't mind me asking, exactly how
did you get up?"
"If you must know, my husband helped me up when he got home."
"That's nice to hear Ms. Fletcher."
"No it isnt. Now, my marriage is ruined."
"How did that happen?"
"Well... My husband had come home early from work, got me on my feet,
and then heard a strange noise, like someone moaning. It was my boyfriend
making that noise. He was in the bathroom having chest pains. When my
husband walked in there he saw my boyfriend and asked who he was. I tried
lying to my husband by telling him it was a plumber who came to fix the
toilet, but I could tell my his face that he didn't believe me. He then
walked into the bedroom and saw the messed-up sheets, and the bladder
control undergarments we so carelessly through off in the heat of passionate
lust. My husband was so mad that he went into the kitchen and picked up an
electric knife. He then tried to slice my boyfriend into small pieces.
Luckily, the electric knife did not work because it was plugged into the
clapper. After my husband found out about my affair, he divorced me. Now
it's just Ms. Fletcher."
The paramedic stood there in shock. "Uhm, I'm sorry that your
marriage has ended, but since I'm here, do you have any problems which
require medical attention?"
"Now that you mention it, I do have some bunions which have been
giving me a lot of pain."
"Which medical insurance policy do you have?"
"Medicare."
"Medicare. Well then Ms. Fletcher, I'm sorry, but I cant help you.
Goodbye."
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #878-BY: CANNIBALBUTTERFLY - 10/16/99 ]