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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #766
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "I'm Amazingly Horny Right Now"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Oscar Meyer Wilde III
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 7/28/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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OH MY GOD, I'm so fucking horny.
I just want you to know, I'm stroking my cock. I type relatively
well with one hand. Hopefully I can show somebody this impressive skill
one day.
Does that make you feel uncomfortable?
I can't help it, really. I'm all lubed up right now, and completely
ready to shoot my load. I have my designated masturbation sock in position
and everything (I put a little red tomato sauce stain on it so I can
identify it). Sometimes girls ask me if it's blood. They're so silly,
isn't it?
It took me a long time to get into the mood today, though. I'm so
disgusted by these tame fucking internet perverts. Sometimes I just want
to see a small child ramming his erect shaft into the end of an
unsuspecting farm animal. I know it sounds like I'm being gratuitous, but
I'm really not. It's just curiosity, you know. I like to know what
stuff like that looks like. Is that really all that weird?
Sometimes I look at my penis, with its huge bulging veins and the
slightly-too-purple head, and I start to wonder what it's like to have a
much larger penis. Like one of those super penises, that extend into the
air like a flagpole. Wouldn't it be great to walk into a room with one of
those? Wouldn't all the girls love me then? Still, my penis is okay.
Really. It's not too bad. It gets the job done. That's all you really
need, right?
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW ABSOLUTELY HORNY I AM.
Maybe I should pull out some internet pornography and temporarily
sate this raging beast (that's my penis), because I am not sure I can
properly function until I do. Do you think I'm being too personal here?
Like Woody Allen, I can't stop thinking about sex. Everything
reminds me of it. When I go to the Opera and think about what the opera
singers moans would be like if I fucked them. When I see gymnastics I
wonder what kind of crazy sexual positions those women could go into.
When I eat kelp I... uh....
Celebrity porn is for pussies.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #766 - WRITTEN BY: OCMIII - 7/28/99 ]