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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #757
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "It's Not the School's Fault"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Big Daddy Bill
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 7/24/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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No Fear.
Above The Rim.
Whoop-Ass.
We all know what these are: t-shirt slogans that everybody wears yet
nobody knows why. Why is it that we, as high school students, must wear
these one-phrased shirts that society views as immoral, unconstitutional,
and downright stupid? The answer is simple: we don't know.
If you count the number of No Fear shirts in a common school, you'll
get more than 60% of the student population wearing them. Yet if you ask
every single one of them if they have a phobia, more than one will say
something along the lines of "I'm afraid of the dark" or "Peaches frighten
me terribly."
Do we really believe these simple, everyday high school students are
the best basketball players known to man, as their shirts claim they are?
Why don't they just wear a shirt that says "I'm better than you at
basketball" than something that says "It takes a big man to cry, it takes
a bigger man to make him cry"? Does that really have anything to do with
basketball? What that says to me is that they go around making giant men
cry, and then they themselves grow to phenomenal heights once they have
achieved it. That, my friend, is freakish.
I remember when people would say, "I'm going to open up a can of
Spam, the delicious, synthetic meat/pork/beef/turkey in a can." Now, it's
"I'm gonna open up a can of Whoop-Ass on y'all." Just the thought of
someone opening up a can of food and dumping it on people is disturbing
enough, yet they named the product "Whoop-Ass"? And could someone please
tell me where to get this stuff? I've only turned up empty-handed in my
quest for a can of Whoop-Ass. Yes, I've even looked over at Aldi's.
We all know that jobs are hard to find, and when we get one we like
to let everyone know; but must we print it on our t-shirts? I've seen
several men and women express that they were "Porn Stars," clearly written
on the back of their shirts. I asked a female in the mall if she would
like to star in her own flick. I, of course, would do the filming, and
the, uh, co-starring... she didn't accept that idea very well.
I say we should stop this t-shirt trend and start a new generation.
We should have shirts that say what is really going on in the world today.
Instead of No Fear, it should be something like "You made me wet my pants
'cause I'm so gosh-darned scared." Instead of Above The Rim, it should be
"My mom said I was good, so I'm going on that." I think you get my point.
T-shirts like "I still live at home" and "I drive a Gremlin" should become
popular, along with not "Porn Star" but "McDonalds" and "Hardees."
Maybe one day we can be free of horrible, yet popular t-shirt
slogans. What I'd like to see is... and I'm wiping a tear from my eye as I
even think about this... a Central Alternative High Schjool Dragons Uniform!
It could be purple and gold, and we could have wing tips and coat tails and
everything...!
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #757 - BY: BIG DADDY BILL - 7/24/99 ]