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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #704
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8
    888     888 888      888 888                "walden's life story."
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8
    888     888 888      888 888    "               by The Jester
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o               7/1/99
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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        aaron had progressed to sitting in his room.  awoken merely an hour
 ago, he finally had the courage to turn the tv on.  it was probably around
 ten, he guessed.  he had figured out how to judge time based on where the
 sun was in his window.  it began to look cloudy out, and in his air
 conditioned room he felt a slightly cold.  he had absolutely nothing to do 
 for the next twenty four hours.  summer?  no school, no work until thursday,
 no friends nearby.  nothing was on tv.

        crack, lightning, rain rain rain!  aaron snuck a peak at the window 
 from his cushioned seat.  a light drizzle had begun.  he returned to his 
 trance.  he flipped around, trying to find that damned weather channel.  two
 days of rain.  t-storms, unhappy clouds, the usual.  just as well for aaron.
 his plans were limited already by the six dollars in his wallet and the
 assortment of change in the pockets of his pants scattered across his floor.

        he deemed it wise to take a shower.  he had a smell that reminded him
 of ... well, let's just say he didn't feel to clean.  taking a shower never
 hurts during the summer anyways.

        after getting out and returning to his well worn seat, he made
 himself some breakfast.  nothing quite like a good bowl of captain crunch at
 ten a.m. he assured himself.  aside from thinking about munching on his his
 cereal, he thought about things he might be able to do... in the rain...
 with five dollars.
        
        aaron had only been living in the area for two years.  his mother had
 frequently changing jobs, thus he never got too well adjusted to a single 
 area.  he didn't mind too much; he rarely had good friends or female 
 companions.  

        he remembered to take his prozac.  

        then he died.  yeah, that is right.  the motherfucker just up and 
 died.  isn't that some shit?  were you about to feel sorry for this little
 terd?  you expected him to just get a girlfriend, stop taking anti-
 depressants, and become an upstanding citizen?  well, you are sorely
 mistaken my friend.  indeed, he did die, with very few people attending his
 funeral, aside from his mother, the minister, the rabbi, and the little
 squirrel.
 
        the little squirrel, perhaps the only person to ever truly understand
 aaron, never could talk to him, or let him know that life wasn't so bad.
 the little squirrel, whose name happened to be walden, was under the 
 impression that aaron committed suicide.  walden couldn't understand
 english, and thus could not here that aaron had died of old age at fifteen
 years old.

        thus, walden killed himself, causing a chain reaction of squirrel
 suicides until the whole species died, thereby causing a great disruption
 in the food chain until everything died the end.

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #704 - WRITTEN BY: THE JESTER - 7/1/99 ]