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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #684
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "The Voice Of My Conscience"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Ashtray Heart
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 6/14/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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You ever have voices that talk to you in the middle of the night?
Course you do. What do they tell you? My middle-of-the-night voice says
"It's 3 AM. Fucking go back to sleep, will you? You have work in the
morning, you know."
To which I say "No. I gotta pee."
It then says "OK, go fucking pee already. I had a really great dream
going on and now you're fucking the whole thing up. Hurry up."
Anyway, my mocking condemning voices never come to me in my sleep.
My sleep is always blissful and profound. It's the waking hours that
present difficulty, because they never wind up nearly as damn cool as my
dreams. Then my voices say, "Why can't something cool happen, like Fonzie
showing up or Magma playing a concert with Roger Waters? Why don't you
write something interesting, or get laid, or something? Your dreams are so
cool--why do you have to act so fucking BORING? Shit. Just forget it. Go
back to sleep. Or daydream and forget what you're doing. You're really bad
at trying to make your dreams real, you know that?"
And then I say "Fuck off. Here are the batting average scores for
the entire 1928 Chicago Cubs." And that shuts it up for a while. But then
it says "No, look, you got a great idea for a book here. An update to
"Psychopathia Sexualis". Look, here's a justification of it:
Krafft-Ebbing's seminal "Psychopathia Sexualis" has been a bible of
sexual deviations for generations. But no similarly exhaustive work has
come out since then. Why is this? Is there a shortage of deviations
nowadays? No! Certainly this is unlikely, as the rise of the Internet has
allowed us to view a range of sexual deviations broader than we could ever
have thought possible previously. Has everything in the realm of sex been
depathologized? If so, for shame! The men and women today see quirks as
something to accept as they are; they are taught blind unreasoning embrace
of a partial self. Introspection? Strictly verboten; you might discover
things about yourself you don't like. No, the only way for a person to be
"mentally healthy" in the eyes of some people is to be ignorant of their
true selves. There are plenty of examples of people doing strange things,
and while those strange things might not exactly be pathological, they are
nonetheless often indicative on some difficulty on the part of the
"sufferer" (strictly speaking, this term is most applicable to masochistic
perversions, as most of the perverts discussed here thoroughly enjoy their
behavior on some level), and understanding what causes them to do the things
they do might help them understand their priorities and their capacity for
human enjoyment.
So, then. We are not saying that the cases outlined below are
examples of things "wrong" or "bad". They might even give you ideas of fun
things to try in your own bedroom. They are, instead, examples of the
extremes sexual behavior can go to, and how sexual behavior can reflect on
other areas of life. The authors hope you shall take it as such.
Some preliminary sample entries:
1. Leonard W. Leonard lived a fairly normal life, developmentally
and sexually, up until his 37th birthday, with the exception of
his profession. Leonard was a heterosexual male nurse at a time
when male nurses were almost universally homosexual. He could
hardly have been ignorant of this fact, but never mentioned it,
and took great pains in later life to avoid the subject of his
former career altogether. Indeed, he could be said to have been
scrupulously moral--married, two kids, the whole lot. On his
37th birthday, however, an unknown acquaintance took him to see
a porno movie. Then and there, Leonard decided he had a new
career.
Leonard decided to embark on a career as a porn producer. When
he announced this to his wife, she reacted by leaving with the
children and filing for divorce. This only strengthened
Leonard's resolve, and despite his lack of background in film, in
no time he had built up a reputation as a producer of quality
porn, full of the "slick" production values popular at the time.
Leonard seldom appeared in these himself--he knew that as a
balding, paunchy, long-haired 40-year-old with a five-inch penis,
he could not possibly make it as a "porno star". The few times
he did appear (which is how we have knowledge of his unadorned
penis length) it was as a groveling slave in a "female
domination" video. (Note that Leonard was not, as far as anyone
knows, a sadomasochist.) He envied his male stars, despite their
protests of the drawbacks to having a monster schlong, and
eventually decided to have penis enlargement surgery.
This by itself would not be notable. But over the course of the
next few years, he would have a total of EIGHT surgeries,
bringing his penis to a total length of twenty-two inches. And
this by itself would be sordid, but the fact that truly puts this
case over the top is the discoloration.
Leonard did not get his "enhancements" from reputable penis-
enlargement surgeons (if such a thing, indeed, exists). Though
the penis enhancements were functional in every way, and Leonard
was said to enjoy the sensation they provided, the coloration was
invariably decidedly not in keeping with the color of the rest of
his skin. The effect was described in one industry porno
reviewer as "moldy polystyrene". The phrase stuck, and from then
on in Leonard would be indeliably associated "moldy polystyrene".
The enlargements were, in fact, partially intended to correct the
color. But every time he went in for a surgery, the penis got
larger and the colors got more lurid. Otherwise a canny
businessman, Leonard did not even consider going to another
surgeon, even after it became clear that the surgeons in question
were bilking him for all he had and playing a rather grotesque
prank on him in the process. Leonard would hear none of it. He
pointed out how the surgeries had deformed his penis so badly
that he was at hardly any risk for AIDS, while all his
contemporaries were dying. He pointed out how good his cock
felt. In the end, the surgeons were the only people he trusted.
No one is certain whether his mysterious death in 1995 had
anything to do with his many penile surgeries (one is loath to
call surgery on this scale "enhancement"), but it appears the
surgeons were not taking any chances. They disappeared without
trace the day BEFORE Leonard's death.
2. The Engorgement Fetishists. This is not an example of an
extraordinary perversion belonging to a single person, but rather
an odd collective perversion, one of many that have thrived with
the rise of the Internet. In this case, a rather sizable fan
base has grown up around the concept of a man being completely
encased in a woman's body. It has spawned several "fan" websites
and a Usenet newsgroup, but no commercial pornography as of yet.
The basic theme is of a woman, whose body may or may not be
proportionately swelled, with a man having entered, feet first,
through her uterus. This is mostly presented through artistic
representations of all varieties. Sometimes the woman is
slender, and sometimes every telltale lump of the male body is
present, except, notably, the penis. Perhaps it is prudery or
perhaps something entirely different, but no hint of a penis can
be seen in any of these drawings. Often a male head can be seen
sticking out from the woman's vagina. Attention is also drawn to
the woman's breasts and legs; the latter are often awkwardly
akimbo, while the former often seem as if they are about to slide
off her body on the sides, as if they were made of conical heaps
of mercury. Facial expressions vary greatly, from total
confidence and mastery on the woman's half to total humiliation;
from embarassment to oddly serene composure on the man's part.
Prose fiction exists on this topic, as well, mostly centering
around a man's efforts to consensually insert his entire body
into a woman's vagina--either a woman he knows and loves dearly,
or a complete stranger who strikes his fancy. Obviously,
misogynistic overtones can be drawn from this, as well as
infantilism overtones. Still, one wonders how such a thing can
spread so widely and with such obvious compassion.
3. Sven M. Sven, a single European immigrant in his mid-20s, is
well within the range of normalcy sexually in every way but one.
Every month he goes out to the woods and hunts for a squat branch
section with exactly the same circumference as his penis. He
then inserts the stick in his rectum every time he wishes to
obtain an erection, and claims this is the only way he can
achieve an erection. Once inserted, Sven can maintain an
erection for lengthy periods of time with no apparent effort
until he reaches orgasm or the stick is removed. Sven regards
this as perfectly normal, and was not recommended to our office
for sexual difficulties, but from a rash that resulted from the
sticks used. When questioned, Sven told us that part of his
penis was removed without his permission by the mad doctor who
birthed him. The mad doctor then bequeathed the missing penis
section to the spirits of the woodland. Every month he has to go
out into the woods and find the missing section of his penis in
order to be able to use it, because the magic the doctor employed
on him transfers the penis to a different branch every month.
When asked how he chooses, Sven responded "You'd know your own
dick if you saw it, wouldn't you, doc?" Additionally, Sven is
afraid that putting the wrong branch in his rectum would change
the size and shape of his penis. He claims that he has lost a
quarter inch in penis girth in this manner. That these two
statements do not reconcile does not register with him. Sven's
explanation of the origin of his difficulties obviously has some
likeness to the circumcision story, except that, being a European
gentile by birth, Sven is not circumcised.
Investigation of the incidents surrounding his birth turned up no
apparent medical anomalies. The origin of his delusions in this
case remain a mystery. After evaluation, it was determined that
Sven's actions in all other matters were eminently rational and,
since his delusions posed no imminent danger to himself or others,
he was released from custody with an intensive program of sexual
counseling recommended. We have not seen him since.
And then I say "No, look, I don't want to write all that shit down!
That would take HOURS! I want to download some more porno, or something!"
"Wake up. There are 26 pictures in alt.binaries.pictures.victoria-
secret. Get off IRC. Stop checking your email. WRITE SOMETHING."
Finally I do, but it takes me several months, the result is
hopelessly self-referential, and I'm not very satisfied with the results.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #684-WRITTEN BY: ASHTRAY HEART-6/14/99 ]