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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #584
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "THIS IS BULLSHIT"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " THIS IS QUAREX
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 4/21/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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[ DISCLAIMER - THIS ARTICLE USES THE DEFAULT PRONOUN SHE, SINCE I
AM A HETEROSEXUAL TRYING TO SCORE WITH THOUSANDS OF GIRLS. ]
"Hmm. You know, I never thought about it before, but that girl is
really cute. Damn, she is smart, too. I really do like her. Sigh. . .
too bad nothing ever goes my way."
<I realize no guy can possibly imagine how a girl thinks, least of
all me, but bear with me while I try to complete this scenario>
"That guy is kinda cute. Maybe in a weird way, but he is kinda
cute. . . and he always makes me laugh. I wonder if he has a girlfriend?
Oh well. He probably does."
So, Quarex, what is the point to this article? Simple. The point is,
I am fairly certain that both men and women do indeed want relationships to
a roughly equal degree. What they want out of them may be vastly
different, but I cannot imagine the basic psychological and physiological
need to have and to hold can be all that different between the sexes.
Granted, spend a few weeks hanging out with me and you would think that
girls want nothing more from guys than to hug them and kiss them on the
cheek all the time, but this is not totally about me (only 99% about me).
The above scenario represents a situation that is all too entirely
possible, at least to normal people, who have lives vaguely similar to
those represented on _My So Called Life_. My life is actually more similar
to _The Simpsons_, so such situations may still happen, but I am certain to
never notice them if they do occur. So, since I have already established
that men and women both probably want something at least quasi-meaningful,
why are situations like the above allowed to occur without the parties
clearly expressing their interest in one another?
Just think how much more wonderful the lives of both of the people
above would be if, through some stroke of luck, they both suddenly got an
incredible amount of guts, and each told the other what they were thinking?
Suddenly, brief awkwardness aside, the dating possibility would open up,
and it would go from wondering what it would be like if someone liked you,
to realizing that someone does like you enough to try dating you.
This might be elementary to all of you bastards, since all h0e writers
aside from me are easily able to achieve a relationship. But think about
it. How often do you think about possibly being together with someone you
just know casually, or barely at all? Why not just go fucking tell the
person what you are thinking, and hope that he or she is thinking the same
thing? Worst case scenario, he or she thinks you are a freak, and stops
talking to you. If he or she thinks that way after learning your thoughts,
would you really have wanted to think that way about him or her in the
first place? In hindsight: NO! So next fucking time you see that guy or
girl in your English class who catches your eye and never lets it go, just
say "HEY. I LIKE YOU. WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING." OR AT THE VERY LEAST, JUST
START KISSING HER AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. SURELY NO MORE THAN FIVE YEARS IN
JAIL CAN RESULT FROM THE HARASSMENT SUIT.
This should be really applicable to absolutely everyone. I personally
have felt this way about ten or so girls since last summer, and even I, the
King of Cartoonish Rejection, thought at least two or three of the girls
might have had a thing for me, however small. Hell, now I am even going to
Prom with one of them*. You might think that means she would at some point
have had a thought like the one above--but this is Quarex's life here,
remember? Yeah. I suck.
So next time you check out some guy or girl in one of your classes,
just think to yourself. . . what have I got to fucking lose, huh?
FUCK
ADDENDUM:
* I found out in the time between writing this article and releasing it
that the girl who wants to go to Prom with me has, in fact, no interest
in dating me. But DO NOT LET THAT DISCOURAGE YOU! *YOU* ARE NOT
CURSED!
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #584 - WRITTEN BY: QUAREX - 4/21/99 ]