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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #583
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "IRC is Better Than
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 Stand Up Comedians"
888 888 888 888 888 "
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o by Granny [4/21/99]
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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EFnet IRC is the best place to hear the stupidest and/or funniest
things. I heartily recommend the warez and mp3 channels for massive
amounts of comedy through stupidity. The technical channels also have
fairly large amounts of stupidity and comedy. Here are some examples, with
commentary and/or translation:
EXAMPLE: BATHROOM HUMOR
<^CoSMiC^> my dog farts
<fireBANE> i kicked his ass
<fireBANE> ^cosmic^: so does mine
<fireBANE> [n]as: our dog just scratches his ass on the carpet
<^CoSMiC^> but my dogs farts smells
<fireBANE> i know this dog that when he farts.. he clears a whole house
<[n]as> hehe just blame it on the dog
<fireBANE> its the red meat they feed him
<fireBANE> they feed him lots of moose bear and deer
<[n]as> oh yeah my dog just scratchs his ass not wipes it
(COMMENTARY: Here is a classic but very original case of bathroom
humor. What makes it so unique is that the dog is fed moose, bear, and
deer. If a human ate a lot of moose, bear, and deer would they fart too?)
EXAMPLE: INTERNETWORKING
<Xcheet0s> why does ATM taunt me so
<Xcheet0s> GO AWAY
<kaleido> atm is of the devil
<kaleido> thats why
<kaleido> he's tempting you
<kaleido> taunting you
<kaleido> you must believe in the lord and his name is SONET
(TRANSLATION: ATM stinks, use SONET. COMMENTARY: Where else other
than the IRC can you find internetworking tidbits/heuristics in poetic
form?)
EXAMPLE: GEEK COMPUTING
<ET_Turbo> pimp they dont make ide? come on f00
<PIMPdatHO> they dont buttnutt, they r total scsi
<ET_Turbo> ill wager my left asscheek
<PIMPdatHO> I'll wager both my nutz
<PIMPdatHO> if u got an ide product by plextor, someone really put the
cheese move on ya
(TRANSLATION: Plextor does not make IDE hard drives, only SCSI
drives. I will wager my family jewels on it.)
EXAMPLE: LAMERS
1 VillMan is back. for more...lag...lameness...and net*cough*sex
(TRANSLATION: My internet connection is slow, which makes my
left hand and I very lame.)
2. <LoCoNeT> ok....To the First one Who Gives me The 128Kbs Version of
Ricky MArtin -- Livin La Vida Loca ...i will give him/her ...
a *kiss* ;0
(TRANSLATION: I am a lamer who leeches and I have nothing to trade
for the Ricky Martin mp3.)
3. <sou1jah> frickin.. i wish i didn't have to goto the bar to get ass..
<sou1jah> <--- is the Godfather of Irc
<sou1jah> <--- Was the Godfather of Rap mp3s..
(TRANSLATION: I am another lamer who stays on the IRC for long
periods of time with my left hand.)
EXAMPLE: MISCALENOUS
1. <fireBANE> man this song has some bass to it.. wow
<fireBANE> these little pecker speakers are bottoming out
(TRANSLATION: My speakers can't handle the bass of this mp3.)
2. * djmousie opens a can of cream corn and smears it all over his nutz and
then sets it on fire...
<djmousie> yah!!
<ET_Turbo> is that shit flammable ehehheh
<djmousie> yes very
<ET_Turbo> cream corn?
<MET_Turbo> is that a cooking aid?
<]{oruPt> don't you eat that
<]{oruPt> fuck i'm not eating that again
(TRANSLATION: Cream corn is flammable, use with caution.)
3. <sarai6568> Pamela Anderson squirms like CRAZY when Tommy Lee licks
between her legs with his large TONGUE. Also watch her get
jammed from his LONG HARD ROD, see her down all of his
juice while sucking him off, see Pam play with Herself.
It's soo close you can see right up inside of her! These
are MOVIES, as if you were in the same room with them! Yep,
if you are an Adult, you can get them FREE at
http://www.xxxxxxxxxxxx.com
(TRANSLATION: We are a lame pr0n site and the best we can do is try
to sell the Pamela and Tommy Lee stolen tapes, which everyone has seen
already anyway.)
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #583 - WRITTEN BY: GRANNY - 4/21/99 ]