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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #576
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "In Defense of Kinko's"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Ashtray Heart
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 4/14/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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You know, I bet you can find a lot of sex perverts in Kinko's. For
one thing, just look at the name. If that ain't some kind of a pervert
name, you can put some of those stupid looking hairpins in my actual HAIR.
For another thing, the Kinko's about two blocks from my house has this big
huge sign in the window, which says:
"Sure, you can bind that here."
I bet it would be the easiest thing in the world to get a Kinko's
employee tied up. All you'd have to do is take them back to your
apartment, or possibly even their apartment, and then ask them if you can
bind them. Before even thinking, they'd be saying "Sure, you can bind that
here." I bet you'd have even better luck if you tried that on them in the
Kinko's, if you were into the whole exhibitionism thing. Oh, yeah, sure,
some people don't like Kinko's, but you know what I think? I think it's
GOOD that America has a nationwide monolithic bondage and discipline chain,
especially one that's only two blocks from my house. Some people will
travel five hundred miles just to get tied up, you know, that's the state
America is in today. Which is all well and good if you're a rich corporate
chieftain or a SQL programmer, one of those DIGNIFIED positions like that,
but what if you're just an ordinary fellow who drives a Crankmobile? If
you drive a Crankmobile, you don't know if it's gonna go another five
hundred miles. If you're just an ordinary average joe trying to stay
afloat in a world of sexual perversion, if you don't got a signed sealed
and delivered healthcare affadavit that'll give you a lifetime supply of
them little blue pills, those little signs that the world is even sicker
than you've been imagining it just gives you the warm fuzzies all over, and
maybe it's not too much to think that you might be able to get off
sometime within the next year.
Because one thing about getting off, oh, yeah, sure, it's overrated,
misunderstood, devalued, all that stuff, but when you get off, you know
that all's right with the world. Even if you CAN'T afford one of those
expensive full-body harnesses, even if your balls are stretched out three
feet and held to the corner of the mattress with one of those potato chip
bag clips, even if you're flogging someone with a whip fashioned from your
own toenail clippings attached on the end of a bundle of twine, even if
you're wearing six inch spike heels at the time; it doesn't matter HOW
squalid or absurd your situation at the time is, if you're cumming, things
are going exactly how they ought to.
And that's why I'm not down on Kinko's.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #576 - WRITTEN BY: ASHTRAY HEART - 4/14/99 ]