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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #573
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8
    888     888 888      888 888          "FACE CARD, FACE CARD, EVERYBODY
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8         LOVES A FACE CARD!!!!!!!"
    888     888 888      888 888    "
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o      by Uberfizzgig [4/14/99]
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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        Here they are!  The long awaited, much anticipated rules for the
 great game of FACE CARD, FACE CARD, EVERYBODY LOVES A FACE CARD!!!!!!!

        The Deck:  Get two decks of cards.  Make them into Euchre decks, but
 also include 2's.  That means keep all cards that are 2, 9, 10, Jack,
 Queen, King, or Ace and put the rest aside.  You'll also need to put in
 four Jokers. This is the deck for a four player game.  If you want a large
 game, with more than four players, add another deck just like this one for
 every two additional players.

        The Object:  You try to get the best hand of face cards you can.
 Each hand is worth a certain number of points, the lower the better, and
 once you reach 500 points, you're out.  The game continues until only one
 person remains.  That person is what's called The Winner to use a technical
 term.

        The Deal:  Each player gets four cards.  The rest are placed in the
 middle as the Draw Pile.

        The Draw:  On the first time around, you draw three cards and
 discard one.  One the next round you draw one card and discard three.  This
 means your hand will alternate from 4 to 6 to 4 every other round.  When
 drawing, you can pick from the draw pile, the discard pile, or from both
 when drawing three cards.

        The Play:  When you think you have a good hand of face cards (and it
 must be all face cards) you call "FACE CARD, FACE CARD, EVERYBODY LOVES A
 FACE CARD!!!!" after you discard.  This marks the final round and is the
 equilivent of "knocking" in other card games (Excluding Magic: The
 Gathering).  When this last round gets back to you, you shout "FACE CARD,
 FACE CARD, EVERYBODY LOVES A FACE CARD!!!!" once again and slam your cards
 down on the table.  Then all points are totaled.

        The Face Card?: The cards are divided into 4-card hands and 6-card
 hands to correspond to how many cards you'll have in your hand at the end
 of a turn.  The cards are noted as:  K=King, Q=Queen, J=Jack, A=Ace, F=Any
 Face Card, X=Any Non-Face Card, ff = Two of the Same Face Card,
 xxxx = Four of the same Non-Face Cards, j=Joker, and 2=2.

        The Ace is not a Face Card, it is only an Ace.  Jokers are Jokers, 
 not wild.  Most decks picture the Joker with a face, and therefore it
 counts as a Face Card.  If your deck has Jokers without any discernable
 face, then they count as Non-Face Cards.  Some decks are made by Disney and
 all the cards will have a face on them.  Obviously in desks such as these,
 ALL cards count as Face Cards, so hands that need Non-Face Cards in them
 just don't exist when playing with these decks.  Jokers and Aces are used
 in Special Hands that will be described seperately.

        The Rank:  Point values, rank, and names for the hands are as
 follows:

 4-Card Hands:

	KKKK  The Birth of Christ   1pt
	QQQQ  Lesbian Avengers      3pts
	JJJJ  The Four Horsemen     5pts

	KKKF  My Three Sons        10pts
	QQQF  Charlie's Angels     12pts
	JJJF  Three Musketeers     15pts

	KKKX  The Axis Powers      20pts
	QQQX  Feminist Majority    25pts
	JJJX  Three Stooges        30pts

	xxxx  Order (4 of a kind)  40pts

	----  nothin'              50pts

 4-Card Special Hands:

	K222  Ides of March        Assign 20pts to 2 people or 40pts to one.
	Q222  French Revolution    Assign 30pts to one person.
	J222  Waterloo             Assign 20pts to one person.
	jjjF  Traveling Circus     The person with this calls left or right.
                                   Everyone else passes their cards to the
                                   person on that side.  (The one with
                                   Traveling Circus does not pass their
                                   cards and is skipped over when passing
                                   right or left).  People then get the
                                   points of the new cards they hold.

 6-Card Hands:

	KKKKKK  Feudalism         -70pts
	QQQQQQ  Ladie's Night	  -68pts
	JJJJJJ  Reservoir Dogs    -65pts

	KKKKKX  The LA Kings      -40pts
	QQQQQX  Spice Girls       -38pts
	JJJJJX  The Fifth Beatle  -35pts

	KKKKff  Imperial Senate   -20pts
	QQQQff  Tupperwear Party  -15pts
	JJJJff  Illegal Aliens    -10pts

	KKKQQQ  The Brady Kids     -1pt
	KKKJJJ  Father and Son's    0pts
	QQQJJJ  Junior High         1pt

	KKQQJJ  Block Party        10pts

	------  Nothin'            50pts

    No Pattern  Chaos              40pts

 6-Card Special Hands

	KK22AA  The Flood          Assign 20pts to 3 people or mix/match.
	QQ22AA  The Titanic        Assign 25pts to 2 people or one twice.
	JJ22AA  The Hindenburg     Assign 40pts to one person.
        jjjjAA  Armageddon         You get -100pts, everyone else gets
                                   100pts.
	jjjFFF  Carnival           Like Traveling Circus, but Score Totals
                                   are rotated instead of your cards (Once
				   again, the person with Carnaval keeps his
                                   or her points and is skipped over as
                                   Score Totals are passed right or left).


        The End:  You're out at 500pts.  Last person in, wins.

        This is everything.  Print out a copy of these rules to have when
 you play.  Enjoy.  Face Card, Face Card, Everybody Loves A Face Card!!!!

        Learn more at http://www.dreamdust.com.

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!   #573 - WRITTEN BY: UBERFIZZGIG - 4/14/99 ]