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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #546
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Nobody Loves a Dishwasher"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Unrelated
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 4/3/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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I have been trying to find a job for about the past month or so.
Almost everyday, well, once a week, I'd get up and go out and put in
applications looking for work. Well, there's a Holiday Inn downtown where
I live and I had put in an application about three weeks previous, and I
would go and check on it every 3 or 4 days. Whenever I went in the
manager had always been busy, well, not last Thursday. They had lost my
application but went and got the manager for the kicthen. I was hired as
a dishwasher on the spot, I started Monday.
My first day there went by extremely fast. When I first got there
the first employee I met started searing about something to do with a
customer. The next people I met were the managers who all seemed to be
high on coke or something because they all said nice to meet you and "how's
it going?" like I had known them for 5 years with their plastic smiles and
"frilly" grins. And when I actually got into the kitchen, I found out that
the garbage disposal was busted and we had to use a garbage can, the actual
dishwasher had to be shut off every 5 minutes or so because something's
screwy with it, and everyone was making fun of the dishwasher who had been
there for 6 years. "He kind of reminds me forrest gump on speed".
The second day there about halfway through the day one of the
waitressess had ultra sound pictures of her unborn fetus. *DISGUSTING*.
I had mentioned that birth was repulsive and made me nautious. She
replied something like "IT's a Beutiful and Natural thing!!!" rather
vehemently. Then, Randy, gump on speed, started asking if he could be the
godfather, or if that she'd name the kid after him. I also asked if I
could be the godfather, but nobody heard me. I overheard the pregnant
waitress talking about the dirty little fetus most likely being a boy.
So, I asked, a little louder this time, "could I be there, you know, with
a catchers mit and a baseball bat."
The third day, Wed., I got bitched at because I was slow, well,
dammit, I had a right to be. I hadn't been to bed at all that night and
was extremely tired. Nothing exciting really happened until the end of the
day when I had went downstairs to take out the garbage, FUN FUN! (I'm
being sarcastic here). As it should be, the damn bag wieghed about 75 or
more pounds, so when I finally got it out of the actual can, and over to
the dumpster, BAM!, everything tore out of the bottom and all over the
ground and my bots. The funny thing is, this was GREAAT!!! (again, being
sarcastic). No shovel, no brrom, just a small dustpan to clean up the
whole mess....
Now, today, well, it started off fine you know, every day bull shit,
except, as I failed to mention previoiusly, anything that went wrong, was
the dishwashers fault, and because I'm the new guy, I get bitched at about
everything. Where's the ice scooper? Change the water, can you get this
for me, have you seen this? do you know and blah blah blah blah..... Well,
after about an hour after I was there the cook (female) and another
waitress (the pregnant one) came up and said, "hey, your zippers down.
Now, I thought this kind of odd seeing how I WAS WEARING AN APRON, and of
course they both started laughing. I felt moronic. I did however get it
later, they were checking me out when I checked my zipper, SEXUAL
HARRASSMENT!! Then, about another hour or so later they asked me if I
knew where my back pocket was, they again just wanted to check out a part
of my anatomy. I said, you just want to check out my ass, and they both
(the cook and the pregnant one) started laughing. Oh yeah, and between
those two comments the cook said sexual harrassment is the best
harrassment. Can't argue with that, so, in reply, rather loudly not
realizing the manager was only 15ft away from me I asked the pregnant one
"So, what color are your nipples, pink, or brown?"
She asked "WHAT?!" I looked over saw the manager, and thought,
"shit." *0$# "Come with me, now!" I went into his office and he yelled
at me about sexual harrassment, not beating kids in the delivery romm with
baseball bats or talking about it, and being slow the day before. I
explained to him the comment, being dead ass tired, and how they had
started it. Good thing I have the day off tomorrow. No one even
acknowledges my pressence there anymore. I even over heard various people
whispering the "sexually explicit comment" I had made. They all hate me
and it only took 4 days... it at least took "gump on speed" 6 years...
Those lonely dishwasher blues, or should I say pink or browns...
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #546 - WRITTEN BY: UNRELATED - 4/3/99 ]