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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #532
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "SVP Aidez Nous!"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by AnonGirl
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 3/27/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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"Allo. My name is Sylvie Bilodeau. I'm standing on the corner of
what used to be Saint Lawrence and Saint Catherine boulevards. I'm here
today to inform you that a terrible tragedy has been going on, and how you
can help. Men, women and children are starving, in a land that was once of
great prosperity. The thirty-story buildings you see to the right of me
have long since been abandoned, and are being run by terrorists. Children
have died in these buildings. Women have been raped in these buildings, as
well as their bastard children. The water has become tainted, causing
innocent Anglophones to involuntarily speak and think in French.
Francophone newborns have been poisoned, their mothers and fathers beaten
and left for dead. Throughout the streets, on large speakers atop
streetlights, are endless Celine Dion tracks being played. Gangs have
taken over homes. The idea of school is a long forgotten hope for the
youth. Hospitals are a thing of the past. So I'm standing here today to
ask for the help of you, the public. For just $1.01 per day, you can
provide a nutritious meal, education, and a Celine Dion tape to one of
these poor, hungry children. Just think, one of these innocent children
would be given a hot, steaming bowl of poutine, provided by you and the
generous folks at La Belle Province, as well as a can of Pepsi and a Mae
West cake for dessert. You will also be contributing towards the
education needed for these young children. They would be taught the basic
essentials of math, French grammar, and slang French, by the great Dr. Paul
Rose. And of course, the Celine Dion tape, a compilation titled 'Aimez Moi
ou Mourrir', will be given to each child that receives a sponsor like you.
We are begging you, here at L'Association des enfants de la r?publique du
K?b?k, to give generously, and help yet another child grow up and live an
adequate childhood. Please, help us rebuild the country that was once
Quebec, because one more lost child is one too many. Merci."
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #532 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 3/27/99 ]