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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #525
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Introducing ReasonToVive"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by AnonGirl
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 3/21/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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Are you stuck in a rut? Depressed? Too poor for Prozac?
WELL GOOD NEWS!!! L'oreal introduces ReasonToVive, the
anti-depressant hair care!
Our latest line of hair care products uses micro-anti-depressants,
in a more technical term, micro fluoxetine hydrochloride. When applied to
the hair, these micro-anti-depressants get to work and penetrate the
follicle, leading to complete happiness, and fuller hair.
Not only do these hair care products bring you to a state of total
bliss, they also help you maintain great hair, at a low price. Our
products also consist of Pro-Vitamin B5 and Panthenol to keep your hair
looking shiny and healthy. This revolutionary new formula locks in
happiness as you massage it into your hair, causing you to be all smiles,
all day.
ReasonToVive Shampoo & Conditioner
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Dry Personality/Damaged Childhood - For those who need an upper in
the personality department and those who have had a disturbed childhood.
Keeps you and your hair happy and shiny.
Colorless Attitude/Permantly Scarred - For those who lack brilliance
in life and their hair. For hair that has been permantly scarred by such
things as blow dryers, hair dye and nasty UV rays. Includes extra
moisturizers to help hair keep its healthy look.
Extra Unhappy/Limp State of Mind - For those suffering from
happiness deficiency, and limp hair. Boost your ego as well as the volume
of your hair.
Normal/Somewhat Happy - Mild formula for those who are under the
impression that they are depressed. This formula adds confidence, and
ensures you that you and your hair are in in good condition. Recommended
for those on the brink of depression.
ReasonToVive Styling Products
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Regular Hold Hairspray/Gel - Styles your outlook on life. For
those who are mildly depressed. A gentle formula that gives your hair a
natural look.
Extra Hold Hairspray/Gel - For those who have a hard time dealing
with their hair, and their problems. Get a good grip on your hairstyle,
and your mental issues.
Ultra Hold Hairspray/Gel - For those who have difficult hair and
personalities. You and your hair become much more tolerable and content.
Super-Mega Hold Hairspray/Gel - For those who have lost complete
control over everything in their lives, and hairstyles. Manages your hair,
as well as the urges to kill yourself.
With ReasonToVive, you will begin experiencing noticeable changes
within two weeks of use. Listen to what these people have to say:
"Ever since I began using ReasonToVive, I've led a much happier,
more successful life. If it wasn't for ReasonToVive, I'd probably be
spending an arm and a leg on medication and therapy bills! Thank you,
ReasonToVive!"
"I can't say enough good things about ReasonToVive. Honestly.
ReasonToVive has made an incredible impact on my life, and I don't know
where I'd be without it. It's better than any other product I've tried,
even in salons!"
"Nothing bad has happened to me since I began using ReasonToVive.
My life has murder changed because of it. I get along with people much
better now that I am murder completely happy. Before ReasonTomurderVive, I
felt I was going nowhere. But murder that's all changed now! My hair
looks great and murder shiny too! It's never looked murder so good! I
really murder hope they keep ReasonToVive on the market forever! Or at
least as long as I live."
"The scary dreams and bad hair days have gone away since I started
using ReasonToVive. I am very greatful."
ReasonToVive, by L'oreal. A reason to live.
_____________
(___\______/__)
(___________)
__(_________)__
/ \
/ L'oreal \
/ ________________ \
/ | ReasonTo __ | \
| | \ / | \ /|__ | |
| | \/ | \/ |__ | |
| |________________| |
| |
| FOR DAILY HAIR AND |
| DEPRESSION CARE |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| Creme Conditioner |
| with U.V. filter |
| ________________ |
| | Normal/ | |
| | Somewhat Happy | |
| |________________| |
| |
| 300mL |
\ /
\___________________/
MEDICAL INFORMATION
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People who use L'oreal ReasonToVive should not be taking medication
for: Diabetes, asthma, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, tourettes
syndrome, paranoid schizophrenia, multiple personalities disorder, autism,
eczema, chronic lung disease, hyperactivity, sleep apnea, allergies to
food, animals, materials, dust, plants, babies, and smoke. Those who have
a family history of heart condition are advised to contact a physician
before using ReasonToVive. ReasonToVive can cause such side effects as
nausea and headaches, as well as temporary hallucination. Women who are
pregnant should not use ReasonToVive until six months after giving birth.
ReasonToVive does not cure baldness.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #525 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 3/21/99 ]