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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #521
`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
888 888 888 888 888 "Effective Fast-Food Training"
888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
888 888 888 888 888 " by Phairgirl
888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 3/21/99
o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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Lance, I'm going to call you Lump.
Because all you ever do is make the sandwich, and then just let it
sit there while you stand around and look at the incredible nothing.
You could HELP ME OUT a little, THAT'S what you could be doing.
I KNOW you're busy. So am I. But I can't do it all myself.
No, you don't have to do it all. Just help out a little bit.
Thanks for choosing Wendy's, can I take your order please.
That will be $2.10, thank you.
Christ Lance, the bag's right in front of you. Is it that
difficult to GRAB the bag and SLIDE the sandwich inside? Hell I'll even
get the napkins if you'll just grab a bag once in a while.
Look, Lance, if Ken, the incredible boy who took two and a half
minutes to make a sandwich could grab a bag once in a while, you can too.
Oh whatever. I'm assigning you to the retard bus. SAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Thanks for choosing Wendy's, can I take your order please.
How many jr. bacons was that?
Thank you, $4.20.
No, Lance, I'll get the fries, you just make those sandwiches and
GRAB A BAG.
Wow, look, Lump can bag an order after all.
No, you're not drooling enough for the retard bus.
How come all the girls in the drive through know you, Lance? You
always look out the window, and the girls say "Hi Lance." Did you do them
all?
Well, come on. I can't imagine any girls talking to you at all
unless you slept with them. No, really.
Thanks for choosing Wendy's, can I take your order please.
Shut up, Lump, and make the goddamn sandwich.
That will be $2.00, thank you.
Holy shit, Lump bagged a sandwich. Christ boy, I only gave you
that nickname ten minutes ago and already I'm gonna have to find something
else to call you.
You're doing a nice job, Lance. Now that you can actually make the
sandwiches AND throw them in a bag 70% of the time, we're going to work
on your speed.
I know you don't care. But the scary fact is, you're being paid to
care.
I don't care either. I mean, I have to act like I care because I'm
your role model. But I don't actually care. So I don't expect you to
REALLY care. But just act like you do.
Yeah, I know you still really don't care. That's our little
secret.
No, you can't go home Lance, you're here until 4:00.
Go home Lance.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #521 - WRITTEN BY: PHAIRGIRL - 3/21/99 ]