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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #459 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Why Do I Date Closed-minded Pricks?" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Caitlin !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 1/21/99 !!
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Okay... and intro... la la la... this was a convo I had with an
asshole on AOL. An asshole I stumbled apon once apon a time. It's
pretty stupid, or at least he is. I can be so pathetic, jeez...
assholes stick to me like a load in the eyeball.
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AddictZero: Hello
Synikalle: hi hi
AddictZero: Question:
Synikalle: yeeees?
AddictZero: Why would anyone have to contemplate them being real? I
believe that that would make someone disillusioned and just
fucking crazy.
Synikalle: I don't think people do contemplate it
Synikalle: i just think that it's a subconcious thing that's there.
There's no reason to say we're not real, so..
AddictZero: then why would anyone need something to realize that they
are real when they know that already. No one is fake in the
sense that they dont exist in reality
Synikalle: what is real anyway. Yanno.. just a stupid fucking
definition created by someone else.
Synikalle: what is reality though
Synikalle: everyone has a different reality
AddictZero: Everyone is in agreement that everything around them (for
the most part) exists in some reality, whether its mine or
Mr. Smiths, it is still thre. That is one of the stupidest
things I have ever heard anyone say.
Synikalle: then why do you still talk to me.
AddictZero: because I dont not like you. I just thought that that whole
"clinging to something to assure that hey are real" thing is
riduculous
AddictZero: they rather
Synikalle: Well, that's how alot of people are. Christians find comfort
in Christianity and knowing that there is a heaven, and
salvation... et cetera
Synikalle: Lesbians find comfort in their secure sexuality
Synikalle: as do Heterosexuals
Synikalle: I'm different in that aspect. I don't find comfort in
anything.
AddictZero: but that doesnt ever make them think that they are fake, or
even "not-real" whatever. Its a comfort device, but never a
realization of being real because everyone knows that they
are real
Synikalle: when I was a few years younger, relationships were the only
secure thing for me. but... now.. I like falling. Not having
anything except blank sheets ahead of me is normal and
intriguing and ..
Synikalle: I'm using myself as an example. I have no faith except
what's there in my subconcious. No words to describe it, no
god, no thought. Pure Love. I have nothing to hide behind,
nothing to believe in, nothing to argue over, because there
is nothing there.
Synikalle: I accept what I am given at each second of each day. I don't
question what is there.. because there is nothing to question
Synikalle: most people can't deal with that.
Synikalle: in fact, almost everyone.
Synikalle: including you, obviously.
AddictZero: But why would anything make you real when you already are
real? I question everything to further myself. everything
is a learning process.
Synikalle: nothing makes you real. It's the idea of security. if
there's nothing to cling to, you float off into the abyss.
AddictZero: no you dont. I cling to nothing and I am stronger because
of it.
Synikalle: actually, you're a philosopher, you cling to simple
definitions of life...
Synikalle: definitions = meanings.
Synikalle: like your whole quest for picking apart everything
AddictZero: no, becase I dont care what life means because I already
know. So there is no clinging
Synikalle: then why were you so upset for the past week or whatever,
why did you have to decipher every little thing that life
has been shown as
AddictZero: I didnt. I didnt decifer anything. I had to decide some
personal things. See...I told you that you'd see and by
showing you I find that you dont get me one bit. You dont
know me
Synikalle: See, the thing is Jaime..
Synikalle: I'm not saying you're completely wrong...
Synikalle: what i'm trying to point out is your concrete beliefs
AddictZero: I'm not wrong at all.
Synikalle: everything that you know is how everything is definately.
everyone else is wrong.
Synikalle: I don't know if what i feel is right, but i don't know if
it's wrong
AddictZero: And I have no concrete beliefs because I decide what I
believe when it is shown to me. Then I can discount that
also. I dontbelieve in anything for clingingness or
security.
Synikalle: well, how i feel, doesn't discount anyone. anybodys beliefs
could be right, or wrong
Synikalle: because nobody knows for sure
Synikalle: and you're right, I don't know you at all. You keep yourself
well hidden, and don't give other people a chance to see
inside.
AddictZero: Thats beacause I dont have to show anyone who I am and
rarely I do. Theres things that no one needs to know and
things that arent known to anyone because it would make them
realize many things about themselves and destruct certain
thoughts that they had. i save them from that
AddictZero: I'm not into discosure. I gain trust in other ways
Synikalle: you're pretty confident in that. but not everyone is weak
like you think.
Synikalle: there is.. getting to know people.. i'm not saying just be
an open person..
AddictZero: Yes they are. Mostly everyone is weak and feeble minded
and cant take certain things. I can tell this of people
Synikalle: I'm saying, not everybody is. I already pointed out the fact
that most people are insecure, but what I am saying... not
everybody is.
AddictZero: 99.9% are. You are. I was. dont say your not, because
there is much evidence to support this
Synikalle: no need to get arrogant.
Synikalle: "you don't have to like me for who i am.. but we'll see what
you're made of by what you make of me."
AddictZero: I'm not being arrogant. I am a bringer of truth. I can
tell who someone is the second they open thier mouths. And
I am made of what people made me. "You aren't who you think
you are, you're what everyone else thinks you are" -Fishism
Synikalle: that's stupid
Synikalle: no offense
Synikalle: :)
AddictZero: Don't take all of this as a "I hate you" thing, or any other
negetive way. And thats not stupid. It's the fucking truth.
What is truth you may ask...Well, we all know what truth is
Synikalle: classic western thinking.
Synikalle: as for the last quote, that might be the motto of marketing
employes, but if you're seriously using that quote, that's
what we in the biz call "superifcial as hell"
AddictZero: What isn't true about that? You can think you are
something, but ultimatly for what? To project that upon
someone else. If someone thinks I am an asshole then thats
what I am. I can think whatever I want but it's all up to
everyone else. Like you...You think the world of yourself
although someone may think that you are a bitch and any other
negetive thing. They dont see you as being gorgeous and
whatever...they see you as a bitch. That makes you a bitch
then. And its not superficial. Its true...
AddictZero: you just want to be above it. No one is
Synikalle: yeah, so what if you leave a little piece of yourself with
everyone else, that doesn't make you what everyone else
thinks you are. everyone gets different impressions of
people, even when they get to know them.
Synikalle: they're two different extremes
Synikalle: one can not rely only on what they think of themselves,
NOR what others think of them--they must use both
Synikalle: however, ultimately what you think of yourself will guide
you farther in life
Synikalle: for someone can be a truly wonderful person, yet still
mocked and hurt. does that make them less valuable? of
course not.
AddictZero: Yes it does because thats what they are made into
Synikalle: there are too many people in this world to worry about what
each individuals percieves you as
AddictZero: right. I am not saying you should wrry about it. But to you
you are the best. To me I am the best. No who else
believes that I or you is the best? No one. Its good to
have esteem and not give a fuck what people say but still,
we are what they say we are
Synikalle: you cant be made into anything by what others think of
you...its you who start anything and that spawns whatever
thoughts others might have....its just different ways of
perceiving the same thing, if you want to get philosophical
Synikalle: you are not soley made who you are by what others think of
you. there are several factors. you can choose to be
affected or not be affected
Synikalle: to say our entire identity is made by what others say about
is is pretty silly, i think
Synikalle: or just naive
Synikalle: if a person is relatively weak...their identity can be
changed by what others say....but only to a certain extent
AddictZero: Check it...You just arent looking at this the right way.
You are who you are to no one but yourself. Now, given you
may come off as close as you can to what you think you are,
someone still will take away from that by making an opinion
on you making you someone else. still Caitlin, but Joe's
Caitlin, not Caitlin's Caitlin
Synikalle: so, what the hell is your point, anyways?
AddictZero: I already established that
AddictZero: I could sit here all day arguing my point versus yours and
we will get nowhere. I am leaving now
Synikalle: well
AddictZero: well what?
Synikalle: i still miss seeing you
Synikalle: *giggle*
AddictZero: We'll see about fixing that. With school and pre made plans
for this weekend, it may be difficult. We'll do something
soon though
Synikalle: heh, neat.
AddictZero: Now I leave you
Synikalle: peace.
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #459, LOGGED BY: CAITLIN - 1/21/99 !!