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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #384 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "That Time I Tried to Conquer !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: The World or Something" !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: by -> LilNilHil 12/25/98 !!
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Day 1
=====
Today I was watchin C-SPAN, and it got me thinkin, about how
slow and idiotic our government can be. About how often someone is
shot in this country, and basically how democracy just doesn't fucking
work at all. So I decided, hell I can do a better job. I've still got
some of that young rebellion blood in me, I've seen 'Braveheart' and
dammit, I know how ta make napalm.
So I sent out a mass e-mail to all the hackers, freex,
militants, and fug-ups I could think of. An S.O.S. to stop oppresive
shit, a call to arms if you will. I've even got a name for this
online-army.
The R.S.R. The Red Star Rebellion.
The 'Red' stands for unity. Sort of like the blood of the
people... or something. And the star is becuz federal agents usually
wear vests, so, like the air-force, we aim high... er... waitaminute...
Anyway I got to talkin about all of this with a friend of mine,
and she asked me what my plan was. I told her I would start the
revolution on the internet, and exploit technology to render the U.S.
forces defenseless. For example, by hacking into U.S. satellites, we
will make it impossible for the U.S. to retaliate with their nuclear
arsen--Okay, dammit... so I don't have a plan. And I'm just kinda
wingin' this whole conquer the world thing as I go along.
Bugger off.
Day 2
=====
Minimal response from my radical brethren. But the few who have
come forward seem really enthusiastic. Of course, I had to bribe half
of them with free warez and money. Nevertheless, I am beginning to
build a tightly knit regime, ready to stage a bloody coup at my very
command.
Also, I noticed something odd today. I think I may be
developing some sort of god-complex... Hmm, this must be how Napolean
felt.
Day 3
=====
Today I went out an got some stuff on Caeser, and that movie
'The Wave', so I can try and figure out brainwashing. I also bought a
copy of 'The Art of War' and a few things by Machiavelli.
On another note, today my head of espionage uncovered a few spies
in our ranks. Luckily he had them eliminated before any damage was
done. Also, today I asked a friend if she would like to head our
propaganda department. Her response;
"Gee, can't I just shoot people?"
Day 4
=====
The troops seem restless, and many good men are missing in
action or a.w.o.l. Today someone wanted to know what the politics of
the new world order would be. I thought about this for awhile. And I
think a democratic attitude might work. With of course a socialist
underbelly, and just a hint of fascis-Alright fine. I dunno what the
hell I'm talkin about here either.
Day 5
=====
Morale is low, the enemy appears to be taking its toll on the
troops. Today I tried changing the name to "The Red Star Alliance". I
got several small hacker groups to allie with us in hopes that in using
this system I would take some of the burden of actually having to do
something off of my troops. We'll see how that turns out.
Day 6
=====
Alas, all of my efforts are in vain.
Group interest is now all but non-existent, and I am beginning
to question my very sanity for taking on this mass of stupidity in the
first place.
Day 7
=====
Bah, fug it.
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #384 - WRITTEN BY: LILNILHIL - 12/25/98 !!