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 '##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
  ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #356 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
  ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Bitchin' Text File"                     !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Ramsey String                      !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/19/98                                 !!
 !!========================================================================!!

        My enemies had better take heed.  This is going to be one
 bitching text file.  I have been simmering with rage all day, almost
 quivering in anticipation of when I could sit down and let my
 bitterness burst like a hard orgasm onto the page.  Or, into a text
 file which isn't really on a page per se, at least not one in real
 life, but I will fix all my metaphors later because right now I have
 the white hot fire of anger fueling my every action.

        All I have to do first is decide which hated person or group
 will full the terrible wrath of my wit and eloquence, will be forced to
 swallow my poisoned words.  Will it be that guy who cut me off in line
 today?  Or that bitch at Wendy's who looked at me like I had dropped ten
 pounds of shit on her and told her to laugh when I simply asked if I
 could have a straw.  Ahh, no, one person alone cannot bear the terrible
 impact of what I am going to say.  It must be a whole group--the Stupid.
 Aye, the stupid shall suffer the humiliation of my song.

        But first, I must pee.  Off to the bathroom.

        That felt good, holding my warm, pulsing cock in my hand as I
 took a piss.  It isn't as big as some guys cocks are that I have seen
 in movies, but it is big enough.  My girlfriend says so.  Said so.  We
 don't talk much anymore.  My piss was hot and acidic as it burned into
 the porcelain of the toilet and now, emptied and cleansed, I sit down
 to write.

        Wit is my weapon, let fools tremble at my song.

        But where to begin?  I had so much to say earlier, really biting
 things, the sorts of things that spark revolutions.  I had in my bowels
 the words that could change the century at this pivotal time.  Perhaps I
 shat them out while taking a post-lunch dump.

        I swear to you I had something to say.  And you would have
 laughed, chortled, BURST FORTH IN HILARIOUS SPASMS had you heard it.
 And men would have feared me and women loved me.

        This was going to be a really bitching text file about something
 I really hate.  But when I hate so much and don't like anything at all,
 where do I start?  I guess I should make some injokes now, to sort of 
 fill up space.  I heard on #ezines the other day that somebody has a 
 really big cock.  I forget who, though.  And, ummm, girls sure do suck.
 Yes they do.  Heh.  Whole files in that alone.

        This file was going to be so bitching.

 !!========================================================================!!
 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #356, WRITTEN BY RAMSEY STRING, 12/19/98 !!