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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #352 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "It's a Conspiracy" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Mr. Sandman !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/16/98 (originally written on 7/10/96) !!
!!========================================================================!!
Have you ever wondered if you were the unknowing participant of
some secret experiment? When I go to work, that is how I feel. I am
currently being paid $9 an hour to sit in a cubicle and do absolutely
nothing. Recently the idea popped into my mind that maybe the government
is responsible. They are trying to see how long I can sit in a box with
no windows and boring fluorescent lights before I finally crack. Do you
get the same feeling when you are at work? Well, worry no more. I am
going to explain how to throw a monkey wrench into their experiment. I
will also explain how to recognize the numerous experiments being
conducted upon you.
Games
=====
Believe me that "they" are well aware that you will be playing
video games on your little Windows machine if you have one. If they did
not want you to play the games, they could easily remove them.
Unfortunately, games such as Solitaire and Minesweeper do not provide
much escape from the nothing you are working[?] in. This is because these
games are scientifically designed to keep you bored while successfully
hiding your boredom from you.
You must know what I am talking about. When I have nothing to do,
I always click into the stupid Windows games. While I play, it is like
an extraordinarily weak opiate. I am not aware of my boredom when I
play, but I am not entertained either. Then once my game is over, I
play it again without hesitation in order to keep the reality of my
meaningless situation from crashing down on me.
Now, I told you that the government is involved and you probably
want proof. The connection is simple. I will explain it step by step.
The first reason the games are present on the machine is because the
corporate white collars do not want us to move up along the ladder.
Think of the main thing that happens when you are playing the game. You
never pause to think how to climb out of the boring position you have.
You just waste time and let your brain go numb.
As long as you continue playing the games, the white collars are
safe. However, do not think they are not intimidated by us. The
corporate world phears those with computer skills because A) it is
obvious we have enough brain power to do their jobs and B) we could
actually get things finished quickly. The white collars do not want to
lose their jobs where they can be lazy and get paid 100 grand a year.
Therefore, they needed to find a way to hide our skills from their
superiors. Unfortunately, the simple weapons of Mine Sweeper and
Solitaire have been the most affective against us.
The next step reaches the government. As anyone with a pair of
working eyes can tell you, the government does not represent the common
interests of the people. Instead, the government represents the common
interests of the highest bidder. The corporate zombies are a large
source of income for most politicians. There are lots of kickbacks and
donations that come in from the corporate world. As a result, the
government protects itself and the corporate cronies by developing these
Windows games.
Now some of you are probably wondering why the government would
care if we took over the well-paying corporate positions. The government
is scared because they could potentially lose their power and money.
Right now, they already have guaranteed income. They stand to lose it if
we take over. Also, how many of us would give to these clowns after
knowing what they have put us through for years? There will be no
forgiveness for Solitaire.
Then, it all comes back to the Digital Anti-Christ, Bill Gates.
Bill has kicked big money into the government in order to make sure that
the games/brainwashing tools are developed solely for the Windows
environment. As a result, we become hooked to the Windows system for
the games. The weaker individuals actually start to think that Windows
is a great "OS" and is necessary to do simple word processing.
Therefore, you will not find a single corporation that is not using
Windows 3.1, 95, or NT on their computers.
By the end, all parties are happy. The lowly employees are
content with their worthless, unused, cog-like jobs. The white collars
are happy because, as long as asses are kissed, there is no threat of
them losing their jobs. The government is happy because the money is
still rolling in.. Finally, Bill Gates the Wanna-be God is happy
because his system is being used.
Television
==========
Television is the other tool that is used to keep the lowly worker
down. What do most of us do when we get out of our boring 8-5 jobs
during the week? We go back to our house and click on the TV. Just like
the games, the television shows are enough to keep your mind from
thinking about your worthless situation, but not enough to provide an
escape. This keeps the workers in a steady daze throughout the week and
never lets them realize that they are being screwed.
But, as if the weekdays were not enough, they have targeted our
weekends too! The name of the enemy of our weekends is... The X-files!
Too many people have become addicted to this show... They come home on
Friday and watch the show. Then they discuss the show with their
friends. Finally, they start wondering about UFO cover-ups by the
government and theorize about them. As a result, they never become
aware of the real government conspiracy to keep the worker down.
There are three groups of people who are responsible for the
X-files Television Conspiracy. The first group is made up of
advertisers. The advertisers fight hard to have slots during this
show because it is the one time that the workers are actually enjoying
television. As a result, the workers are more likely to buy what they
see advertised during the show because they will associate it with their
enjoyment. Unfortunately, this causes the worker to become a slave to
the new evil-empires [i.e. Taco Bell, the new OB, Hair Club for Men,
etc.].
The next level of this conspiracy reaches the heads of the FOX
network. They work their hardest in order to preserve the quality of
this one show so they can keep the advertisers. The advertisers give
big money to FOX for the privilege of having an X-files slot. If the
worker were to stop watching the X-files, FOX would lose their income
and power. Then they would be forced to experiment with a variety of
flops to take over the slot [i.e. Herman's Head, House of Buggin', etc.].
Finally, the government can be recognized as the head of this
conspiracy. They give the stories of the extra-terrestrials to FOX in
order to make it easier on their writers. Whether or not the stories are
true is irrelevant. Through spreading these stories, the government has
created a fascination among the workers. Therefore, many of us run
around looking for proof and answers to these stories which we will never
find. While we are doing this, we do not think about the more obvious
conspiracy of keeping us in boring, low-paid, cubicle jobs. This pleases
everyone involved in the Game conspiracy as well.
Beer
====
Though beer can also be tied into the advertising group from the
TV conspiracy, it should be treated as an entirely different conspiracy.
Aside from water, what beverage would you say that the average worker
consumes the most? Beer, of course! When we get to stressed out at our
jobs [i.e. the games are not working], we grab a 40 oz, 6 pack, 12pack,
or 30 pack of our choice. Then we drink until we are buzzed enough to
relax from a day with no stimulation of any kind. While we are in this
stupor, we do not think about our situations. As a result, every
conspirator is happy because there is no imminent danger to their power.
In addition, they make a little extra cash on the side.
-=Sex=-
You know how there are those people who love to talk about how
obsessed we are with sex in America? Well, they are correct. This is a
result of the Big Ol' Conspiracy. Sex has become almost too important
for some of the common workers. This conspiracy somewhat backfired,
however, because it was so effective that the conspirators themselves
have fallen a victim to it. There are roughly 4 groups involved in this
conspiracy.
The first group is made up of our lovely prime-time TV networks.
Though nudity is almost never seen, the main actors/actresses are all
physically appealing and throw out many sexual innuendoes. At the same
time, subliminal messages are displayed in the programming to make us
feel that sex is more important. Even pre-adolescents are targeted by
the Big O Conspiracy. Are you aware of the frame in "Who Framed Roger
Rabbit?" where Jessica Rabbit was nude? What impression would this
leave on an innocent child?
The next group of conspirators is, once again, composed of
advertisers. They push hard to keep sex seem like the best thing in the
world because it is a very useful marketing tool. As a result, they can
sell their products with only the slightest amount of skin showing in a
commercial [i.e. The Swedish Bikini Team, That Black-Box Girl, Kate Moss,
etc.]. We think about buying the product and sex at the same time which,
consequently, prevents us from noticing the conspiracy.
The third group of conspirators is made up of the condom
manufacturers. These people are ruthless in their quest for power and
money. In fact, they do not even need a TV advertising campaign. Their
advertising campaign came about when they created AIDS. Numerous condom
manufacturers purchased various scientists to create AIDS in order to
make the purchasing of condoms more necessary. They then pushed even
harder to make sex the most important thing to the common man. This is
where TV came in. As a result, in order to have sex without the fear of
dying, one has to buy condoms. Therefore, the condom companies have a
guaranteed income as a result of our overwhelming sexual desires.
The final group of conspirators is composed of people in the
government. Even though the government pushes to keep us having sex,
they also push us to think it is morally wrong. Since the conspiracy has
affected people in government along with the working slob, sex has become
a useful weapon. Whenever an enemy of the powers that be rises up, it
will be possible to make him look bad by pointing out the sexual behavior
of the individual. If we are lucky, this will not continue much longer
because people do not seem to care as much anymore. But, unfortunately,
it is still a card that the conspirators can use against us. The
government will continue to try and control our thoughts regarding sex
because it keeps us unaware and pays well.
Family Values
=============
This is another great conspiracy. Of all the people in the world
who should be talking about morals, it is hard to believe that someone
running for President is qualified. Many of us, however, buy into this
family values crap. Unfortunately, when we buy into the moral facade
that the government tells us to follow, it becomes impossible for us to
better our situation. Both the people in the government and the white
collar corporate world have screwed or ass-kissed their way into their
positions. When we are led to think it is wrong to do the same things
they did, they do not have to worry about losing their positions to us.
And Much, Much, Much More
=========================
The conspiracy goes on and on. I have only put a dent into some
of them. Yet, fighting conspiracies this large is never easy. I
already know what I am doing to fight these blood-suckers and hopefully
you will have learned a little from this to do the same. Take a
breather every once in a while and examine yourself. Know when you are
being screwed! Is it not clear to you that the conspirators are
everywhere? Learn, rise up, fight, and beat them down! We can not
allow this to continue any longer.
!!========================================================================!!
!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #352, WRITTEN BY: MR. SANDMAN - 12/16/98 !!