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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #317 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "HOE Supports Teleconferences" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Tasha !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/9/98 !!
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About 20 seconds after you connect to IRC, and join #ezines, if
you're one of the elite that write text files and actually join #ezines,
you will get a message that says something along the lines of:
"conf! # - 8881234567 ID - 898765."
Do not worry, it's not some secret meeting to take over the world,
and even if it was, the h0e staff could not takeover the world, we've all
been captured! Anyway, this is just a number to join a teleconference.
We love teleconferences, yes we do! But before you fall for one of these
innocent-sounding, multi-person phone conversations, maybe you should
know a few things.
On a h0e teleconference, we do not talk about h0e, well, except
for Mogel, who tells everyone to write something. There will always be a
quick rehash of last night's wrestling, and if you didn't watch, don't
say it, because you will be instantly deemed as lame, or sucky, or some
other negative adjective the h0e staff likes to use.
Then, around 2am, everyone will say "man, I need to go to sleep,
wait, let me check what classes I have tomorrow. Oh, nevermind, I just
have the class where we learn the meaning of life...and I know what that
is already...it's anal sex!" "warez warez warez warez warez warez warez
warez warez." So, after deciding that sleep is not needed, there will be
more pointless conversation, which will always end up involving various
webpages with content such as, "She failed 9th grade, she's not out of
high school yet!" Then, everyone will giggle, and go look at the
webpage. And in the midst of all this giggling, someone will have the
positively great idea to pretend they are Satan, or maybe the leadsinger
of Limp Bizkit.
Caution: That is a damn good impression of Limp Bizkit (Kreid),
but it sucks even more than the actual singer/band/whatever.
And after we all giggle more at the lovely impersonation, someone
(read: SwissPope) will make some odd comment merely for shock value, and
all the girls will giggle, like all proper girls do. Then, there will be
a comment about SwissPope "mackin' on the ladies," or something, and out
of nowhere you will hear, "douchebag."
Yes, you thought douchebag wasn't said anymore in 1998, but you
were wrong. "Shut the fuck up, douchebag," "I feel a h0e file comin'
from that one!", "will it be about ANAL SEX?" "shut up, the girls are
trying to talk to each other...what was that (insert name of the wrong
girl who said something here)," "no, the other girl said that," "you all
sound the fucking same," "I smell a h0e file comin' from that one!" "I AM
SATAN," "shut the fuck up, douchebag," "the girls are trying to talk to
each other again, dude," "man, whenever I say represent I just end up
sounding white."
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #317 - WRITTEN BY: TASHA - 12/9/98 !!