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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #282 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Public Transportation" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> AnonGirl !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/12/98 !!
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being a public commuter for nearly 6 years straight now, i've
grown accustomed to the many normalities seen on busses, subways and
trains that can sometimes appear to be strange to one not-so-accustomed
passenger. Things such as foul odors, "wackos", and of course, we can't
leave out the perverts.
living in the metropolitan city of Montreal, i've seen many
*things* (use your imagination) in my travels. the odors, however, can
be the most deceitful form of attack when riding a bus, train or subway.
a senior man approaching the back of the bus, eyeballing the empty seat
next to mine seems harmless, from afar. but as soon as he sits down and
that familiar stench fills my nostrils, i know i'm in for a ride from
hell. the smell is a mixture of garlic, B.O. and some other UFO
(unidentified foul odor). sitting on a packed bus full of tired,
disgruntled people in the middle of February is depressing enough, but
the stink is the last straw. breathing through my mouth hoping to salvage
what's left of my sense of smell, his smell becomes a taste, leaving me
in a horrible disposition. i can't open the window because it's frozen
shut, so i have to decide whether to taste or inhale his scent. the best
idea to avoid this situation entirely is to try and grab a single seat,
if you're lucky.
then comes the "mentally different". i'm not talking about
serious mental cases, just the people who feel they have to make
themselves heard in some form or another. i've seen men who talk to the
ads, women who talk to the windows, people who talk to people who aren't
really there, etc. most of these people are harmless, but there are a
few who can crack at any given moment. some decide to pull the bell cord
incessantly until they're "asked to leave", others will ring the bell but
never get off, and some will even pick fights with each other. being in
the middle of a scrap between two 40 year old women (it really happened!)
isn't what anyone normally expects to see on their way home.
last but certainly not least, the perverts. in my years
involuntariy using public transportation, these are the most common in
the pack. if you're female and riding public transportation, you're
automatically deemed a target. a common attack would be a man sitting
next to you on the bus when there are barely any other people on the bus.
you just KNOW something's up with that. the most exciting is when this
person is trying to pick you up *actually believing* that we will fall to
our knees and scream, "TAKE ME NOW!!". and being told that the scarf
you're wearing makes you look SO sexy isn't exactly the most romantic
line in the book (not many of them are). this is the point where you
nail your steely combat boot into his foot and ask, "How sexy am I now?",
if you've got guts.
the best way to avoid being scarred for life by public
transportation is to NOT USE IT. but since most of us get stuck with it
one way or another, i suggest a good loud Walkman to block out the
freaks, nuts and perverts. you don't want to wind up angry and
disgruntled because of busses and subways (like me... and you DON'T want
to be like me). so good luck.
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #282 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 11/12/98 !!