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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTACY PRESS RELEASE #272 !!
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Flip The 'Off' Switch" !!
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Charlie !!
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/6/98 !!
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you know, for many years now i have been into computers.
and i think in all of that time i have learned a very important
lesson. and that is that if you can say that first sentence without fear of
being ridiculed by hundreds of nameless losers who refuse to spell english
correctly, think grammar is a foreign language, and can't give out their
address without saying the word "dot", then you are still a real person.
let's examine that first sentence, and see why it still represents
what i would call normalcy, not sanity, because many people are sane, but i
don't think too many people are normal.
1. the word computer is used in its entirety and in a normal sentence.
yes, that's right, i am not afraid of the word computer. that is
what you people out there actually use. not tcp/ip, irc, d00dz, warez, or
anything else you might want to call it. you are using a piece of
engineering created by people who are way smarter than you and actually have
the dedication and drive to create something so fantastic that no one would
have ever thought of what it could accomplish. yet for some reason, you run
away from the word that describes the object that gives you the power you so
loudly proclaim as always being yours forever and that you can use it better
than anyone else out there. get real.
the computer is not a right. it is not communication. it is not
freedom. it is a box with an awful lot of sand in it. but, not too many
years ago an awful lot of people got together and came up with an awful lot
of ideas, combined it with an awful lot of engineering, and created the box
in front of you. be honest: you could never have done it. you would never
have been able to conceive of it. yet you say that it is yours and you are
the best at it. loser.
i am proud of the fact that i can use a computer. and not just one. i
can use many, of which they run many different things.
i take pride in my ability.
i take pride in teaching my knowledge to people who don't know it and
want to know for the sake of learning.
i take pride in my wanting to learn more about computers.
i take pride in all i have taught and all i have learned, for all of
life is learning. show me a man who has learned it all, and i will show you
an empty shell of chemicals which cannot react to the world around it, just
like the machine he claims to know.
2. the sentence is grammatically correct (i think).
ok, so i don't know for sure. i never really liked grammar, but i
always respected it and the language it is based on. some of you, for some
reason, seem to think that a language is nothing more that a bunch of words
grouped into any order you think will convey the meaning you want. "me kool
and k-rad, you phear me." not. anytime i see this sentence, i sigh, shake
my head, and wonder what other lost soul out there wrote this and complains
about how he can't get the latest equipment while he spends his time on his
ass refusing to get a job because he doesn't want to be a part of the
establishment and simply work to further the goals of the power-elite that
he so desperately wants to be a part of but is too lazy to go out and work
for it so he spends his time on his ass bitching and complaining to his
friends who are just like him and in my humble motherfucking opinion are
just eating up bandwidth that i could be using working on my latest idea
that i'm following up on and i'd like to be able to videoconference with my
partner but i can't because for some reason everything is running too
fucking slow and i can't use my drive and determination to further the every
society that you want furthered but only if you can do it while sitting at
home in your pajamas typing on a keyboard that someone else built while you
were in diapers.
(okay, so the grammar is bad there, too.)
3. i take pride in knowing about computers, i enjoy using them, but i can
find the off switch.
okay, real fast, how many steps does it take to turn off your
computer? is it:
(a) 5
(b) off?
(c) 1
(d) depends on how many channels i'm on
if you said anything but (c), you're fucked. let us examine the
possible responses:
(a) 5. the only reason why you should possibly be answering this is
because you're a network admin who has to worry about the people he runs a
network for. you work hard to maintain it and be efficient, and you
actually care about the people who depend on you (note: this is reality.
if you find caring for other users on a network a totally alien concept,
jump out your window right now).
(b) if you have no concept of the term off, (the state your computer
was in when you bought it), you are fucked. you are one of those people who
leave the computers on 24 hours a day because you never know when someone
you want to flame will come on, or you have 20 bots running around that you
have to keep an eye on, or you have 15 background jobs running kicking those
stupid asses off the channels time and time again and you spend all your
time sitting there smiling contemplating your eliteness while the world
moves on around you without you and you complain about how you aren't
getting a piece of the action. take the following steps now:
1. find the big red switch in the front, and flip it down.
or
2. if unable to find big red switch, yank out plug from wall.
your computer should now turn completely black and quiet, if this
frightens you, it is okay. turn around, find the door, walk out, and
experience the world. it's a lot more, fun, exciting, dangerous, and cruel
than anything you can find in a box.
(c) 1. this is the correct answer, or it should be me, for most
people. there is one only true step, hitting the power button.
(d) if you even contemplated this answer, you are gone. i'm sorry.
delete this file (i doubt you even read this far anyway). go on with your
pathetic excuse for a life, and just stay the fuck out of my way.
no, i am not a republican. i am actually quite liberal.
but in the many years that i have been hanging around bbs's and the
internet, i have noticed a disturbing trend. there are many people out
there who seem to think that they are the best, that no one is better than
them, and that they should be able to rule the world simply because they
have memorized some obscure programming language someone else wrote for them
anyway. think, people. could you have come up with that os you're using
right now? i doubt it. live!
there is a real world out there people. think of it this way:
4.3 billion years ago: earth formed.
4.3 bya to 350 million years ago: life develops, man is evolved.
350 mya to 10,000 ya: man develops, wheel is invented.
7,000 ya: written language developed.
500 ya: printing press developed.
50 ya: computer developed.
you idiots are claiming you rule a world only fifty years old. guess
what was happening all that other time? no, it wasn't history that just
happened, it was men and women going out, and getting the drive and
determination to do something useful with their lives. they learned, they
invented, they taught to others. if you can do that, and take pride in it,
then you are a real member of a society that doesn't oppress, doesn't seek
to overwhelm or completely conform, but a society doing its best to move
forward in an age where change is becoming more and more rapid, and
frightening a lot of people who couldn't dream of what you today take for
granted and look down on those who can't do it as well as use.
take some advice. stop. breathe. experience. learn. live.
then take the hand of someone young or someone old, show them to that
which i know and you know you love, and show them the wonders of what it is
you know. watch them learn, and then watch you learn. and maybe then i
won't have to write shit like this again.
!!========================================================================!!
!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #272 -- WRITTEN BY: CHARLIE -- 11/6/98 !!