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>> "Anything Else" <<
by -> PezMonkey
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I have a brother. He is stupid. His name is Jay, and he is 20 years
old but acts like he's 12. I really can't stand him. I have a dad. He's
not stupid. He doesn't say much, though, so I don't really know what he
thinks about things. I am Southern. This is an important thing to note
when reading the remainder of this article, since most people tend to think
of incest when they think of Southerners. Now, a little story about me
embarrassing myself:
My brother and I have been having little screen-saver wars ever since
we've been home from school for Christmas break. It started when he put
the marquee as, "Lindsey is stupid and ugly and washes her hair in the
toilet." Great, real mature, Jay. So, despite the fact that I *am* mature,
I changed the screen saver to, "Jay is stupid, and he sucks, and he brushes
his teeth in dog pee." Fun fun for everyone! This has continued for most
of break.
Today, my dad was typing at the computer, and after he paused to talk
to me, he turned around, and the screen saver was up. "Who did this?" he
asked, somewhere between amused and angry. Thinking that I had put up the
last screen-saver message, I answered, "I did, but Jay started it by putting
something mean about me first!!" (I told you I'm mature.) So my dad gives
me a weird look, then goes back to typing.
Later, I notice that Jay must have changed the screen saver before my
dad saw it, because it said, "When I think about Jay, I touch myself."
MORAL: If you're Southern, don't tell your dad that you were the one
who wrote the screen saver, because he'll think you're having incestuous
thoughts about your brother.
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #176 -- written by PezMonkey -- 1/4/98 *