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>> "Emoticons Explained" <<
by -> Swiss Pope
*** SWISSPOPE IS THE NEW OFFICIAL HOE FOREIGN RELATIONS CORRESPONDANT!!! ***
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Years ago, I downloaded a text file that listed all of the different
'smiley' faces that you can make with your keyboard. At this time they
were called 'smiley's; none of us had ever heard of the term 'emoticon'.
Times have changed and the ever so common smiley ( :) ) doesn't mean
the same things that it used to. In the jaded world of IRC, everyone is a
critic, quickly judging people on their writing mannerisms. Using smileys
too often or in the wrong context may make a bad first impression on others!
They'll pin you as one with lesser intelligence or experience than
themselves.
This list is intended for you to gain a greater understanding of what
you *really* mean when you combine those two little characters on the
screen.
*smiley* *current meaning*
:) - Yes, that was a stupid question and I am indeed an
idiot. Dur, dur, dur.
- I giggle a lot.
- I bet you really enjoyed that *GREAT* story I just
told!
- I just made a cute comment. Please love me, for I
desperately need your attention.
- Please have sex with me.
:( - I really hope you're going to be okay!
- My hamster died.
- Please have sex with me.
;) - I'm clever! You NEVER EXPECTED me to say that!
- That subtle suggestive comment will surely get
me in the sack with you!
=) - I'm really fucking drunk.
- I just hacked your box.
- Wanna fuck?
:p - You hurt my feelings. I am sad.
- Even though you're a prick, you can still
have sex with me.
=] - I'm a little retarded boy.
- Retard sex is the best!
=[ - I'm a little retarded boy whose hamster was just
taken away by the Humane Society.
- I'd have sex with you, but my wheelchair is broken.
=} - I'm from Czech Republic and I have no idea
what the fuck I'm doing.
- Chtel by se s tebou pomilovat.
* * *
The moral of the story: don't be a gimp.
Idle, be arrogant, and be proud of it.
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #157 -- written by Swiss Pope -- 12/17/97 *