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___ ___ ___
/\ \ /\ \ /\__\ the glorious hogs of entropy
\:\ \ /::\ \ /:/ _/_ present unto you
\:\ \ /:/\:\ \ /:/ /\__\ issue #101
___ /::\ \ /:/ \:\ \ /:/ /:/ _/_
/\ /:/\:\__\ /:/__/ \:\__\ /:/_/:/ /\__\ >> "group therapy" <<
\:\/:/ \/__/ \:\ \ /:/ / \:\/:/ /:/ / by -> trilobyte
\::/__/ \:\ /:/ / \::/_/:/ / n
\:\ \ o \:\/:/ / \:\/:/ / t oink you, pal.
\:\__\ g \::/ / f \::/ / r
\/__/ s \/__/ \/__/ o p y *gigglezz!*
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"group therapy"
by - trilobyte
in the room was a circle of chairs full of people. two of those
people were ralph and mary, a married couple of 25 years.
"i wish that ralph didn't stink so much," mary said. "all he does
all day is sit on the couch, watch tv, and eat cheetos."
"it's not my fault i stink!" ralph replied. "If she would clean up
the messes she makes with her chronic diarrhea, i wouldn't have to lay in
piles of dried feces!"
mary sat quietly for about a minute. then ralph suddenly stood up
and hurriedly hobbled to the other end of the room.
"pheeeeeew-eee! wear a fucking diaper," ralph yelled at mary. he
then sat down on the radiator behind him because it was cold in the room.
"sorry. i can't help it that i'm sick!"
"you could shoo... ooo... oooOoOoOoOOOO!! hot damn!" ralph jumped
off the radiator and ran out the door of the room.
mary stood up and wiped off the chair. "i'm sorry folks," she said
to the other members of the support group.
they looked at her with knowing, caring expressions. she smiled
back. "it sure is nice to have friends like you," she said back and then sat
back down.
bill walked into the room.
"hey, mary, i saw ralph run out of the room holding his butt. what
in the world happened?"
"i had some diarrhea."
"what does that have to do with his butt?"
"nothing. he sat on the radiator. it probably burned his rear end."
"aye!" bill shuddered and began to shake uncontrollably. he fell on
the floor and moved around like a floundering fish. mary enjoyed the
spectacle for a few minutes, then ralph walked back in.
"damn it, my ass was burnt all to hell. remind me never to sit on
the radiator again."
"never sit on the radiator again."
"shut your stinky, crusty ass up."
"i can't. if i could, i wouldn't be here."
"aren't we just full of wit? what happened here, you get a brain?
oh, i see, bill is here. hi, bill."
"howdy, there, ralph."
"practicing your breakdancing again?" frank asked him.
"no, actually, i'm having an epileptic seizure."
"oh, that's too bad. sorry. anything i can do for you?"
"nahh, i'll be ok."
bill continued to flounder on the floor in the middle of the circle
of chairs. the other members of the support group looked at him with
knowing, caring expressions.
after a few minutes, mary had another diarrhea attack. ralph smelled
it immediately. this was really a bad one. he jumped up out of his chair
and ran across the room to the window. he sat on the radiator.
bill stopped wincing and floundering and stood up. "sorry," he said.
"that's quite... all... riii.. iiIiIiIIIiIiIIII!!! AYEEE!" screamed
ralph, as he jumped off the radiator and ran out of the room.
mary stood up and bill sat down in her chair.
"heh, my ass feels all squishy," bill told mary.
"NO! THE MUSIC IS TOO LOUD! TOO LOUD! AHHHH!" mary screamed. she
put her hands to her ears and drudged around the room.
"teach me german!" bill told mary.
"NO! NO! NO!"
"damn," bill said. he stood up and wiped off his ass. he then
licked his hand clean. "when are you going to get rid of all these dolls
you have in these chairs," he asked mary. "If someone saw this, they'd
think you and ralph were a couple of insane fools."
"THE MUSIC! IT HURTS MY EARS! STOP THE MUSIC! --- ahhh.
thanks," mary said, and then she sat back down in her chair. "i don't
think that this counseling is doing any good for our marriage."
"our marriage? i thought you were married to ralph," bill said.
"that's what i mean. i'm divorcing ralph. tell him that when he
comes back in. i don't think that he ever wants to see me again. he's
probably gone forever. this damn counseling has done more bad than good.
you hear me, you stupid fools? YOU'RE AS GOOD AS A BUNCH OF STUFFED
FUCKING WOODLAND CREATURES! get bent."
with that, mary left the room. bill sat down in mary's chair and
waited for ralph to return. bill had to tell ralph about mary's desire
to split up. as he waited for ralph to come back, he thought about mary's
comment. it would be neat to have some scenes in his home that contained
stuffed woodland creatures fucking. bill got quite a bit of pleasure
thinking about that. one scene in the living room with some beavers,
one in the kitchen with snakes and bears, so many possibilities...
however, ralph never returned, and bill died.
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #101 -- written by trilobyte -- 6/11/97 *