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: :::. : ____,
In Memory, : :: : : |_ _; Karl Marx
,~~ : :::'istorted : `|| says:
--)( : :::. :::: : || "Aufheben!"
()= : :: :igital ::. rection : []
HOOKAH! : :::' :::: :
19 March 1994 : Text File #18 Mongoloid Telecom
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DISTORTED DIGITAL ERECTION is PROUD to present another Modem Wrestling
Federation file from the arcane 64k of memory of Spirit of Entropy's
computer ....
The Modem Wrestling Federation Proudly presents:
Live - from the Akron Rubber Bowl...
The MWF Tag-Team Title Bout!
Featuring...
Sorc and Spirit of Entropy
Vs.
Larry Smith and Ramsey
You can feel the electricty in the air here at the Akron Rubber Bowl.
Thousands of anxious modem users await tonight's modem wrestling spectacular.
It seems that years of animosity have culminated into a fight to the finish,
for the loser of tonight's match LEAVES THE MODEM COMMUNITY!
That's right! Prior to the match, the contestants agreed that the team who
lost would leave modem land forever. Their boards would be taken down, and
they would sell their precious modems. It's all or nothing tonight!
The lights in the bowl dim. Music starts to play. "People are Strange"
by the Doors can be heard over loud speakers. It can only be ... yes! It's
Larry Smith, notorious Canton Connection sysop! Next to him saunters Ramsey.
Ramsey is in rare form tonight, actually flurting with underage modem users
in PERSON!
"Remember out chat session last night?", asks Ramsey to a young boy in the
crowd. "Mmmm ... I loved every minute. We'll have REAL fun tonight!". The
pre-teen is overcome with confused feelings and longings, and collapses back
into his seat - playing with him self like a mad man.
Larry and Ramsey enter the ring. Larry grabs the ring microphone and
screams, "I run the best BBS system in Stark County! All those lines ...
30,000 files on-line! I RULE!". Hundreds of users scream their approval,
most of them under age or on welfare.
Spotlights blaze a trail to the dressing room doors as Sorc and Spirit of
Entropy enter the ring. Strains of Jello Biafra's "Power Is Boring" echo
throughout the Akron Rubber Bowl. SOE is decked out in a jacket that reads
"Radio KAOS - here we go again!". Sorc quickly hands a cigar box to some
friends as Akron Police come to escort the pair to the ring. "Hey, make
sure they don't get this! This is quality herb!"
Many older modem users are cheering the sight of SOE, otherwise known as
Elminster. From the crowd, Buckwheat screams "Ah, you rat bastard!". Spirit
of Entropy laughs and does his Tom Olson imitation in response. "Yeah, yeah
... Bucky Bucky Bucky!" SOE grabs some copies of old MWF matches and throws
the gifts to the approving crowd.
The opponents enter the ring. Guest referee Raptor rings the bell, and the
match begins!
Sorc and Ramsey advance towards one another.
"Let me guess, you're going to put me down because of my looks and my
weight?", asks Ramsey with a sneer.
"Nope", says Sorc. "Only low-class morons resort to name calling." In the
crowd, Confederate sysop Thom Davis becomes enraged and begins to shout
"Ryan, you asshole ... your system sucks! You're a little boy! I'll cut your
phone lines again!". Sorc yells back "You mistake creativity for immaturity.
Go back home, you piece of white trash!"
Ramsey, angry at the term white trash being used in a negative way, clobbers
Sorc with her secret weapon - page after page of CHAT SEX PRINTOUTS!!!
Sorc is on the floor! He can't get up. No human being could withstand such
an assult. Page after page of Ramsey having explicit sexual conversations
with underage boys. "Hey!" screams referee Raptor, "That's OUR chat! You
captured it! You BITCH!" Raptor is in the ring! He slams Ramsey in the head
with his bell hammer before officials can restrain him. Moonshadow replaces
the enraged Raptor as referee. In the confusion, Sorc manages to roll over
and tag Spirit of Entropy who vaults into the ring.
SOE immediately slams Ramsey with secret Necro files of Ramsey and other
white trash, older woman having chat sex with young male users ... even
some perverted men pretending to be women for the kids on-line! Ramsey is
stunned. SOE then begins to assault Ramsey with his years of modeming
experience. Ramsey falls to the mat, but managed to roll over to her corner
so Larry can tag her. Larry enters the ring.
"I run the best BBS in the county, and you just can't deal with it!", laughs
Larry. Larry begins to throw public domain CDs at SOE, but Spirit manages to
evade damage. "Almost all worthless ... what a waste of money!". Larry then
attempts to whack ...
SOE with his co-sysop Chaos's poorly written BBS On-Line door. SOE counters
with the Necro Digitally Distorted Erection series of text files. He then
slams Larry with printouts of the messages in the Necropolis "Rodent
Control" base.
"You're a laughing stock! Everyone knows what a pervert you are, and how
lame your BBS system is. You can get 1,000 lines and it will still be a
haven for the uncreative white trash of the county. It caters to the lowest
common denominator of human life!", yells Spirit of Entropy.
Larry, in desperation, tries to clobber with his system's NET mail areas ..
but since hardly anyone uses them .. the attack is ineffective. Seeing Larry
about to go down, SOE tags Sorc. "I'll let you have the honor," yells SOE.
Sorc smiles in anticipation of victory.
Sorc grabs Larry by the shirt front. "So, tell me ... what's it like to be
involved with the 540 Club? You know, the private GAY bar?". Larry is shocked.
"How did you find out? ... er, I mean ... I don't know what you're talking
about." Sorc mercilessly clobbers Larry with tapes of Sorc calling Larry
and Larry the one minute answering the phone and the next claiming to not
know what a BBS is or that he himself is Larry. Sorc grabs the sum total of
his HUGE text file library, preparing to finish Larry when ...
"Stop this!" says someone from behind Sorc. Sorc looks around and finds a
delegation of men. One of them speaks, effecting an Arnez/Ricardo Montalban
type voice. "We cannot allow you to beat Larry. We need his system to be
on-line in your community!"
"Hey!" yells Spirit of Entropy, "I know that voice .. you're the guy Howard
Stern always makes fun of! You're the guy from NAMBLA - the North American
Man Boy Love Association!" The crowd is shocked into silence. Larry takes
the ring microphone and begins to speak:
"I wanted to run this BBS for entertainment. As it went on, however, I
realized that I could use it as a tool for recruitment. It's homosexuality
is ok. We need to socialize people into understanding that."
"There's understanding," says Sorc to Larry, "and then there's molestation.
Many of these kids just wanted some telecom fun, and ended up involved with
all of this sexual garbage. Do you think their parents would approve?" SOE
glares at Ramsey, remembering the anger he felt when he found out that his
former modem "buddie" Ramsey was involved in such business.
"We cannot allow this to continue. TCC will remain on-line. You homo-phobes
must leave the community." Several NAMBLA members have reached the ring and
are starting to advance toward SOE and Sorc. The crowd begins to mutter.
"Hey, I just wanted to play on-line games ..."
"My kid is involved with WHAT!"
"Oh, shit! I bet Ladyhawk buffered all of those chats!" ... all these
comments are heard from the crowd. Some members of the crowd refuse to
believe what is going on, loving the teleconference too much. Others are
disgusted and pledge not to call again. The crowd begins to throw things and
fight amongst itself! It's a riot! Akron police enter the arena and escort
the tag team members to secure facilities.
"You haven't won yet!" hollers Sorc. "I'll defeat you yet. In the arena of
intellectual prowess, you're a midget amongst giants!"
"Oh yeah! Well NAMBLA funnels me money! I'll have the biggest system
anywhere!" retorts Larry, frothing at the mouth.
Guest referee Moonshadow calls the match a draw. A new one will have to be
rescheduled.
Will creativity and intelligent conversation win? Or will teleconference and
chat sex mean the end of Stark telecom as we know it? I guess we'll have to
see.
MWF Stats:
MWF Champion: Sorc
MWF Tag-Team Champions: Up for grabs
Next issue of the MWF: contestants fight it out for a shot at the
Championship best. The Tag-Team match is rescheduled with new contestants.
Watch and see.....
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
Distorted Digital Erection March 1994 Text File #18
DDE is fully supported on the Necropolis BBS
216.966.8970 - subterranean telecom - All TEXT!
vaginal yeast infections are worse, much worse..
Submissions are accepted. Send your t-file submission to Sorc, on
the Necropolis. If using a new account, (I)nclude the file with
the New User Application.
CHECK for MORE Distorted Digital Erection in the NEAR future!
TCC in CHECK! ... and assorted tales of erect rodentia!...
Soon to be supported on TWO MORE 216 bulletin boards!
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
-eof-