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BLaH ? ? ? ??? ? ?
File ??? ? ?? ????? Written August 3rd, 1992
#007 ? ?ig ?ong ??? ?nd ? ?airy
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Presents
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"Chicken.. <and Stove Top?>"
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Chessman
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I bet something you don't see everyday is someone who can name
every different type of chicken. Surprisingly, I can... I don't know
if this would prompt me to be proud of myself or commit suicide. I
really haven't decided yet. Actually, knowing every breed of chicken has
a lot of distinct advantages that few of you realize or even care about.
First of all, it's a good way to meet women <or men as the case may be>.
Quick example:
You're standing in line at the butcher after a hard days
work, and you realize the person in front of you has made
the wrong selection of bird and could be getting a better
value. After you overcome the anger that by now has
boiled up in your blood over how society has shunned you and
forced you to learn everything there is to know about
chicken, you courageously step in and help that person
choose the poultry that is right for them. Your eyes meet and
you realize this is the person of your dreams... Isn't that
how Alice and Sam met on the "Brady Bunch?"
By now everyone on the store is impressed with your knowledge, and here comes
another big plus.. People are asking you to customly select the bird that is
right for them. What better way to meet people than choose their poultry
for them? Wow, now the biggie... You can make money! Yes, money and
no college degree or experience is required. Just visit that old circus when
it comes to town, and tell the ringmaster you can communicate with chickens.
They'll immediately get your own little cage, a funny hat, and a little cup
to hold out for people to put money into. All you've gotta do is
alphabetically list the types of chicken (Example: "Ancona, Andalusian,
Australorp, umm yes, Bantam, etc.") and occasionally throw in a seizure or
two. That's right, people will pay to see that! Now I hope you realize the
human mind IS a terrible thing to waste with all the opportunity out there...
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BLaH - We redefined the Dance of the Undead Chicken <ooga booga>!
Writers- Chessman REMEMBER: If it says BLaH, it probably isn't.
Guido Sanchez
See all the new things you learn everyday kiddies?
Big Long and Hairy <sigh>ts
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