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HOW TO ANNOY A CLERK: At 2AM On A
Week Night.
by prime anarchist
Before shutting the door behind
you, look at the sticker on the
door-jam that shows you're 5'7"
tall in technicolor blue and red.
Shout out that you're 5'10" and
insist that their chart is wrong.
(unless of course you ARE 5'10", then
insist you're something else -- your
pick)
Suggest the person who put it up
must've gotten ahold of some bad crack.
Tell them they'd better have it
corrected by the next time you come
back or you're going to call the BBB.
Don't forget to tell them you're just
kidding at some point, or you might
ruin their trip.
Remember to thank them and tell them
to have a nice day. Mean it, even if
you get a sense they don't.
"What's this obsession
with thigh bones?"
-- Peter LaPata, Podiatrist
Greetings and welcome to ATI179.
Activist Turning-Points International.
SunDay May 23, 1999. It's 4:30 pm. Do
you know where your politicians are?
Here's the Activist Times Publisher's
Column, then we have the usual letters
and #'s runs. And some PAWN, and etc.
Enjoy,
.ati.
I see and hear my God recognizes yours.
Can you say the same about "your's?"
Just a question.
I'm watching "MOTHER THERESA: In The
Name Of God's Poor."
Can I tell you how weird it is to
view this, tears rolling down my
cheeks and every time a doorbell or
phone rings at the shelter I live in
and run, I see Ted Kennedy's
fat shiny Oil Of Olay face on C-Span2
discussing Juvenile Crime bills
whenever I hit STOP? Cough, cough,
tus, tus. Sounds like old Eddie
has TB. Nice glasses by the way. Do
they cost more than my life? How many
meals could I cook with that gorgious
silk tie of yours that attempts to
colorize your grey face and dark puffy
eyes? How many silk ties do you own,
Ted. How many coats?
I don't dare say half of how I feel:
I'm not allowed to judge.
You point at percentages of mothers
and fathers on an easle, all red, white
and blue looking; looking like Ross
Perot, Ted. Ted, Ted, I wish I could
shake you, you're not hearing, you're
not seeing, you're not asking ANY OF
THE RIGHT QUESTIONS. Shut up and listen.
Feed the poor Ted. Boston, Hartford,
Providence Ted. Brooklyn, Worcester,
Bridgeport. Feed the hungry Ted. Shut
up and sell your tie. Cook a meal.
You are no help thus far, Ted.
Represent us! Listen to your heart.
Feed the poor. If you don't have the
courage to truly speak for your people,
than at least have the courage to step
down and let someone who can: do.
That said, that expressed, I change
the channel so I no longer have to
watch this verbal shit every time I
pause. Yuck, feck, blech.
A good juvenile justice bill? Feed
children free. No strings attached.
But you all aren't ready for that yet,
are you? Have a nice meeting you
yuppie pukes!
I can't recommend this movie enough,
by the way, I didn't mean this as a
movie review but here goes. I've cried
at least 6 times now, and she hasn't even
gone from Sisterhood to Motherhood yet.
Holy wah. What a good movie.
I didn't know she was born in Albania.
She was nine when her dad died. Hmmm.
Attn: NATO, take a letter.
Dear England,
Dear US. You desecrate Princess Diana
with every smart bomb you insert into
Serbia region. Can't you see this?
Don't you hear? Don't you feel? Your
bi-lateral genocide is not working.
It accomplishes nothing but suffering
and death, destruction and desecration.
How many songs must I sing you before
you face your demons America, England,
Canada. NATO, the people calling you
NAZI are bitter, they are resentful.
I harbor no fear, no bitterness or
resentment. Nothing but love when I
tell you this.
Name of God, NATO. When will the
bloodshed end? How about show me one
tiny sign?
How about closing the SOA. How about
searching your heart for a peaceful
solution in Serbia, in Iraq,
in Somalia, Lebanon, Timor, Tibet;
in Chiapas. On the Navajo reservation.
I make no distinctions, Amerika.
Shame on your each and every
seperation. Each bomb. Each
starving human on this planet.
Shame shame. Thank you, thank you,
thank you. Just search, you'll find
it. You're not looking hard enough.
Oh and Secretary Cohen.
Take a short note.
You suck.
Love,
Prime Anarchist
--===--
#'s!
--===--
http://www.counterculture.com
http://www.soupkitchen.org/soup.html
http://members.aol.com/fnbduluth
http://www.geocities.com//CapitolHill/Senate/9634
http://www.ratical.org/Estrellita/WhatIsSOA.html
http://books.dreambook.com/robertljones/soa.sign.html
http://www.nt.net/~russell/11.html
http://www.freepress.org/soawatch.html
http://www.topsecretrecipes.com
http://www.sirius.com/~fatkid
http://www.vhfrecords.com
http://www.rodentrecords.com
http://www.adbusters.org/jam99/corporaterule
http://www.gn.apc.org/june18
http://www.heartmath.com
--===--
LETTUCE FROM OUR READERS:
--===--
Keep on keepin on
Gina
--===--
Tears... are streaming down my face
sniff sniff
AsterdiS
--===--
Greetings,
Since I'm Dineh and this Turtle Island
(North America) is my ancient country,
I have every right to state my opinion
and refer to any government official
as appropriately as possible.
No apologies necessary.
First Lady, "Hilter" R. Clinton is no
different then all the other leaders
of this 'male-dominated' society.
The Big Mountain Sovereign Dineh Nation
resistors, mostly women elders, have
written numerous letters to this high
government official. There was several
personal but official letters that
members of the Weaving for Freedom
(Dineh weavers collective) sent to
the First Lady, asking for her
to visit the weavers homelands and
witness the situation that
the resistors are subjected to.
The First Lady's secretarial office
have responded but there was no direct
response from the First Lady. However,
despite all the important letters
brought to her attention she chose
to "preserve" asphalt-nature trails
at the Grand Canyon and a rusty
telescope that sits on a hill in
Flagstaff, Arizona. She stopped in
Flagstaff last night just to take
a look at Mars and at another star.
Her speech basically stated that
it is most important to save every
"treasure" that is endangered throughout
America. Last night in Flagstaff she said,
"There are many places, just like in your
own back yards, that are facing endangerment.
These very unqiue sites are well-documented,
many have accumulated archealogical
information and many of the sites still
hold hundreds of artifacts. So, I just want
to make all of you aware that, we should
not just take this for granted."
Mrs. "Hilter" R. Clinton obviously doesn't
think that the last traditional society
like in Big Mountain is endangered,
or that it should be considered as
a treasure.
As Americans, I would like to suggest
to you all and others to immediately
write to the First Lady that she missed
a natural society (that is only an 80 mile
helicopter ride from Flagstaff) which
needs their culture and land perserved.
Tell her that she definitely knew where
she was at, and her ignorance shows an
overall "American mentality" of denial at
the 'ethnic cleansing' that is occurring
in this country. Anyway, just state to
her in a kindly manner then, how I have
stated my feelings.
Again, thank you to all for your time.
In the Spirit of Barboncito, Bahe
--===--
Hey,
I was looking through my many back
issues of ATI and I found that #9
was completely missing. Beatles
conection, or was I gypped?
If I was gypped you'll all pay,
ya hear ($1,000,000,000 in euros,
or you could just send me #9 your
choice).
If I wasn't gypped than forget
all those stupid threats.
Adam (all around nicafiend)
--===--
you information has been fowarded to
the FBI. The making of pipebombs
is no laughing matter. They will
like to ask you about your
affiliations with the people who
are behind the making of that web
site!
chris wright snd_13@yahoo.com
[ed note: who boy. won't be the
third time! prepare for 90 more
days of phonetaps and lots of
wasted tax-money. people like
you come in all shapes and sizes,
Chris. may you live in interesting
times...]
--===--
Marco,
War is Genocide!! <duh>
Do ya suppose they'll move the
School of the Americas to Europa now?
Since our tax dollars are supporting
another CIA-sponsored drug smuggling
ring, do ya suppose our dope will
now get cheaper? Or better?
Numbing now,
-bln-
--===--
HEALTH TIP #7
Organic lemons are small and fit
nicely in a front pocket.
Take one along with you to add to
what they call lemonade these days.
Use a buck knife or a key-chain knife
to cut it in half, squeeze it in and
voila! Real Lemonade.
WUWAG
A Weekly Unkind Word About Gannett.
Week #1
They don't know the definition of
"Off the Record."
--May 18 Warren Blum Column.
http://www.greenbaynewschron.com
PAGE 65!
a 'zine review.
I'm not going to review Cool Beans
#10 in traditional way. Why? I don't
feel like it. Who do you think I am,
FS5? MR&R?
OK, I'll say one thing - awesome!
Fun to read. I more than LOL'd I
laughed so loud people thought I was
crazy. LOLPTYCAS (laugning out loud;
people thinkin' you're crazy & shit)
I'll say one more thing. Page 65.
The recurring theme of that page'd
have to be Hostess Twinkies.
I'm not focussing on the rest of the
page, just Elizabeth Karp's word-find.
I usually don't find word-finds to be
very fun. In fact, I've done entire
Dell Books issues full of them before,
usually at the beach in July, when I
was a kid, and I'd finish up thinking
"why'd I just do an entire Dell Book's
issue of them?"
But this one takes the cake.
Sugar, hohos, diglycerides,
leavenings: wow. No way.
Whey! I'm in stitches. Cool Beans!
Metaphorically speaking on a scale
1-10 where would you put Cool Beans
issue 10. Well, where would you? Well?
Perfect.
"ART (SEE ALSO SLAM DANCING)
REPETITION IS THE DEATH OF ART."
-- Chris-In-The-Morning
Imagine a bagel: fresh, soft,
satisfying. Now imagine a bagel
sandwich made by McDonald's: hearty,
flavorful, fresh-baked each morning.
If you live near one of the many
US restaurants testing our new break
fast bagel sandwiches, you don't have
to imagine for long. Created to give
customers tasty new choices for bkfst,
our bagel sandwiches are offered in the
flavorful combinations of steak, egg
and cheese; ham, egg and cheese; and
Spanish omelet with sausage and cheese.
Bagels as only McDonald's can make
them...white bread with a hole... just
another reason to brighten your
mornings at the Golden Arches.
ASOA-ALLSTARS: Three Kewl Lists To
Tear Out Like a Coupon.
The following states are particularly
good (*) for shutting down the SOA this
year or next. (* good meaning all or
most have already co-sponsored or voted
to close.)
CT
HI
MA
ME
MN
NJ
NY
OR
RI
WI
The following is a list of states
which are particularly BAD for shutting
down this archaic old-world cold-war
tool of genocide, repression and all
around bad mood.
If you know anyone who lives in these
states please express your sympathy,
but also would you take a few minutes
to bug the bejezus our of 'em?
AR
GA
KS
KY
NE
NH
NM
OK
UT
Finally, here's a Prime Anarchist
Poop List.
I don't mean any ill will toward
these human beings, just that they
really suck and they'd better "change
[their] evil ways," as Carlos Santana
would have it.
A visit by the ghosts of Genocides
past, present and plu-perfect might
help these dweebs vote to shut down
SOA.
Or they could stay poops. I'll let
them remain spineless but NOT nameless.
Aderholt
Bachus
Callahan
Everett
Riley
Berry
Dickey
Hutchinson
Snyder
Barr
Bishop
Chambliss
Collins
Deal
Kingston
Linder
Ryun
Tiahrt
Lewis
Northrup
Rogers
Whitfield
Barrett
Bereuter
Bass
Sununu
Skeen
Wilson
Coburn
Istook
Lucas
Watkins
Watts
Cannon
Cook
Hansen
<disclaimer>
Attention all elected officials.
Just because your name may not appear
on this list; don't assume you're not
a poop.</disclaimer>
#
Dan Quayle did NOT say the following:
"We don't get a lot of armed robberies
on our books each year, where the
perpetrator wan't carrying a weapon."
Prime Anarchist Productions' 1st
Annual Anti-War Hero Award goes out to
Christopher Smith (R-NJ) and Lane Evans
(D-IL) for their tireless work trying
to keep the US from starting wars all
over the world, notably this year --
East Timor.
One Dily of a powder keg! Bipartisan
Antiwar - that's what we like to see!
ON
THIS
DAY
IN
ANARCHIST
HISTORY:
Guy Debord publishes "Memoires" bound
in heavy sandpaper. His goal? One # up
and one # down had their covers worn
out within years.
[ed note: as love based non-violence
anarchists, the staff at ATI don't
condone ruining property ever, ever,
ever. But we're not stopping others
from following their bliss]
<PAWN>-
Baltimore, MD. General "Uncle" Sam
Scheister has retired. Effective Jan
1, 1999 the general announced his last
day on the job will be Dec 31, of the
same year. The 41 year old
"commissioned" said this is just an
early retirement and he expects little
or no pension.
"Who cares," said Scheister. "I'll
get mine here and there. I'm a quick
thinker. Basically I just had a change
of heart and decided to misquote Phil
Ochs, my favorite dead poet."
Scheister's misquote goes "I ain't
workin' anymore."
Scheister announced his hand picked
successor as Colonel William B. Strike
from the 3rd of the 77th Calvary. He
will pin his rank Dec. 30, at the end
of a traditional 3-day drunken brawl
and General Strike will begin the end
of the year.
Strike could not be reached for
comment but his answering machine had
this to say.
"Soon to be General Strike. You know
the drill. Hey that's the end of the
millenium too.
"Leave it at the <beep>."
Well, that's the whole of ATI issue 179.
Thank you, & have a nice day.
gripe to:
ati@etext.org
as usual...