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From editor@intst.com Sun Nov 8 18:07:23 1998
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 1998 22:49:23 -0600 (CST)
From: The Editor and Chief <editor@intst.com>
Reply-To: ati@intst.com
To: ati@intst.com
Subject: ati152.txt (fwd)
Resent-Date: Sat, 7 Nov 98 21:55:44 CST
Resent-From: <editor@intst.com>
Resent-To: editor@ns2.cross-roads1.com
- **********************
- HEY HEY HEY; IT'S ATI*
- **********************
ATI 152. 06NOV98
The Television will Not be ReVoLuTioNiZeD.
JINGLING ALONG
with Johann Jacovitz JingleSpoofer.
When it's time to be hip.
One Song stands clear.
Year after year,
Well, if you've got the hooch.
We've got the beer:
Olde Hooch beer.
<voiceover> Olde Hooch beer.
From the makers of Mulder Beer, comes
Olde Hooch. If you've got it, we'll
do ya... right!
"Violence to art reserves a special place in hell."
--dante--
TO: Cuando Caliente El Sol. El "Unico" Traduccion Mejor
Love all the music with heart
That's all the muse wants.
Translate the best that you can
Or not at all.
Just promise me this
"Las palabras,"
From the Spanish
To the Anglo o o o... o o o...
When you are figurative
Or when you're way off
Love all the music with heart
As if you mean it.
Don't give me your HALF-
ass translations
circ'ml'cutions
Love the music
Don't be lazy
Feel-it-in-your-heart!
Don't forget this is art.
a
A tTTTt IiIiI
A A T I
AaAaA T I 152!!!
A A T I
Aa aAtTTTt IiIiI
the house that ANARCHY built.
th tlvsn wll nt b rvltnzd!!!
TAG LINES
Not Just For Madison Avenue Anymore.
Hello there,
Prime Anarchist here.
Here's some #'s and then some letters, and then
the meaty portion of this gigantic pome we call
ATI. ACTIVIST Time to be Illustrious.
http://www.etwebs.net/kennyl/ar-to-rs.html
http://www.synapse.net/~kgerken
http://www.unit.somewhere.net
http://www.xs4all.nl
http://spin.com.mx/~hugalde/poe-mal.html#ini
http://vvv.com/~tommy
http://www.dogeatdogfilms.com/message.html
http://www.popandpolitics.com/essays/penis.html
http://www.ezln.org
Our Phemus, Lettuce, Onions and Tobasco section:
Dear ATI,
if Marco wasn't a droogy- I would asume that ati
was the new wave suburban kids making their clockwork
punk newstand while cashing in. . .err. . .out on
webaritous.
Don't get me wrong, marc didn't fill etext.org with 147-151
and I was having activism withdrawl, at least until my boy
ric told him that I locked myself into a room and would not
come out until I got some ATI-
Future wishes, no more hippy stuff (weak poems and crap),
60's are over-
peace. . .(is) out.
STV-STV-STV-STV-STV-STV-STV-STV-STV-STV-STV-STV-STV-STV-STV
ATI
Do you accept ads or sponsorship?
Thanks for your help.
Dave
<<<<<<<<<<< NEXXON AUDIO and SECURITY >>>>>>>>>>>
Over 2,000 items, 40 brands, Free Shipping,
Satisfaction Guaranteed, Major brands, Amps,
Woofers, EQ, CD Players, Speakers, Etc.
Please visit the website:
http://www.nexxon.com
[No, but thanks for asking.
I'm going to reprint this, including your URL
because a lot of other "zineriters" read this
zine every week. Perhaps you'll bump into some
that ARE commercial.
I chose to do this because you seem much more
"human" than the average "requester of strange
requests, commercial in nature."]
S
H
U
T
D
O
W
N
T
H
E
S
C
H
O
O
L
O
F
T
H
E
A
M
E
R
I
C
A
S
!!! SHUT DOWN THE SOA. SHUT DOWN THE SOA. school of the americas.
c f h s
h e s
o a
o s
l s
i
n
<BOOK EXCERPT> s
I'm typing this in from "Cash" Johnny Cash's newest autobiography.
I think he's written about 3 of them.
page 189
I've also been playing with my Tibetan singing bowl,
which has its own wonderful world of sound. It's made of
seven different kinds of metals - gold, silver, brass,
bronze and metals from the meteorites that land intact
on the mountain peaks of the Himalayas, where there's less
atmosphere than anywhere else on earth to burn them up before
impact. The bowl produces the most amazing variety of sustained,
unearthly tones. It comes with an instrument, wrapped in chamois
leather, resembling the kind of pestle you use to crush corn or
rock salt in a mortar. You rub that around the rim - how fast
and hard you rub determines the pitch and intensity of the tone
the bowl produces - and then you put your face down into the
bowl and listen. It feels like hearing a pipe organ in a
cathedral. It's a wonderful tool for taking me to another,
more peaceful place.
</BOOK EXCERPT>
ati@etext.org -- -- th tlvsn wll nt b rvltnzd!!!
PO Box 11715
Eugene, OR 97440
isco@efn.org
bigmnt@efn.org
lpsg@efn.org
PRESS RELEASE PRESS RELEASE PRESS RELEASE PRESS RELEASE PRESS RELEASE
COLUMBUS ARRESTED AND DEPORTED
Eugene, Oregon USA October 12, 1998
Admiral Christopher Columbus, infamous explorer and pillager of
already occupied continents, was arrested Monday at the University
of Oregon in Eugene. He was charged with aggravated murder,
first degree rape, first degree sodomy, kidnapping, theft, fraud,
assault with deadly intent, trespass, and criminal mischief when
a bystander witnessed the Admiral accosting students, yelling
"Happy Genocide Day!" demanding gold and threatening to cut off
their hands or abduct and sell them into slavery.
"Get outta here with your rotten attitude!" Heckled University
students, who tried to chase him away, throwing rocks and beer bottles.
Travelling with fencing "Conquistadores", Spanish soldiers in heavy
armament, Columbus roared defiantly when confronted by students.
"What!? It's MY holiday. Happy Genocide!" Fleeing citizens
arrest and assaulting a bus dirver, he was pepper-sprayed by Eugene
Police and subdued.
King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain were arrested by Customs
Agents at the Madrid Airport trying to transport stolen property-
gold from Jews and Indians, and could not be reached for comment.
Witnesses said Columbus cowered and waived his Miranda rights while
taken into custody, muttering about "liberal plots" against him.
A search warrant was served on his ship, which was towed by a
mountain bike. When searched by EPD several dredlocked EarthFirst!ers
were found in the hull and released. "Discovered" in Columbus' ship
were ten dozen bars of Black Hills gold, several hundred million board
feet of timber stolen from the Willamette National Forest, and a card
from a Florence-area developer.
Suspicious the Admiral was hording other contraband, the EPD strip
searched him and held him at the Lane County Corrections Facility until
Friday. Determining that the nefarious colonist suffers from paranoid
schizophrenia with delusions of grandeur, Health Officers forcibly
administered Halizon, Lane County Corrections officials said.
The Conquistadores were arrested at the California-Mexican border
by the Mexican Army. Extradited to Mexico City they face similar
charges and if convicted, the death penalty by a Mexican Firing Squad,
according to an Amnesty International press release.
Christopher Columbus was deported by the Immigration and
Naturalization Service Friday to Geneva and charged for violating
international laws against slavery, torture, genocide and ecocide.
He, Ferdinand and Isabella face a United Nations tribunal comprised
of Pagans, Jews, Moors, African-Americans and Indigenous Americans.
Call (541) 607-7064 or e-mail isco@efn.org for more information.
-0-
FEAR & LOATHING In Las Vegas will be out Nov 17th
for any who missed the Big Picture.
[prime note: i did too and i'm ticked.]
----------------------------------
ATI - The Rag Read Round the Earth
----------------------------------
[ed note: the phollowing's a keeper because its
beautiful metaphor far outweighs any
ethnocentricism involved.]
I Want A Loan
--by Humor Break (494)
An old native American wanted a loan for $500.
The banker pulled out the loan application, "What are
you going to do with the money?"
"Take jewlery to city and sell it," was the response.
"What have you got for collateral?"
"Don't know collateral."
"Well that's something of value that would cover the
cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?"
"Yes, 1949 Chevy pickup."
The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"
"Yes, I have a horse."
"How old is it?"
"Don't know, has no teeth."
Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.
Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank.
He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here to pay." he said.
He then handed the banker the money to pay his loan
off.
"What are you going to do with the rest of that money?"
"Put in teepee."
"Why don't you deposit it in my bank," he asked.
"Don't know deposit."
"You put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you.
When you want to use it you can withdraw it."
The old Indian leaned across the desk,
"What you got for collateral?"
Abbie Hoffman Activist Foundation, Inc.
Box 908
Murray Hill Station
NY NY 10156
I GOT A MESSAGE TODAY, FOLKS, VIA SOME TIN
CANS... THEY HELPED ME RECALL THAT IT WAS
BEHIND BARS, AMIDST FOUR HUNDRED CONS, THAT
I ENJOYED THE BEST THANKSGIVING OF MY LIFE.
ME AND THE OTHER GUYS FILED IN FROM THE
YARD - THOSE OF US WHO WEREN'T IN SOLITARY -
AND LINED UP IN THE DINING HALL. GOING THRU
THE CHOW LINE, WE GOT TO TAKE AS BIG A HELPING
AS WE WANTED - I GUESS EVEN IN THE CALABOZO
WARDEN VIGLIETTA RECOGNIZED THE NEED TO
OVERINDULGE ON THAT DAY OF ALL DAYS. PLASTIC
PLATES BRIMMING WITH PRESSED TURKEY AND
SWEET POTATOES AND GREEN BEANS...
AND, AFTER A BRIEF INTERRUPTION WHEN ONE OF
THE NEW GUYS TRIED TO LIFT A CLEAVER FROM THE
KITCHEN, JOY KING GEORGE GOT UP ON A CHAIR
AND QUOTED A PASSAGE FROM P I L G R I M ' S
P R O G R E S S. AND THEN, MAN, WE JUST ALL
DUG IN.
JOY KING'S PUNK, JUNIOR THE WEATHERMAN,
BROKE OUT A JUG OF APPLEJACK HE'D BEEN FERMENT-
ING SINCE THE FOURTH OF JULY, AND WE PASSED
THAT UNDER THE TABLE, SPIKING OUR CIDER WHEN
WE WERE FREE OF WATCHING EYES. AND I REMEMBER
THAT DOUG HANSON ACTUALLY GOT A LITTLE
WACKED ON THE STUFF - STABBED SOME GUY JUST
FOR PINCHING HIS YAMS. AND LITTLE BILLY BODNER
TRIED TO GET A ROUND OF CHRISTMAS CAROLS
GOING, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A MONTH EARLY.
THE MELLOW SWEETNESS OF PUMPKIN PIE OFF A
PRISON SPOON IS SOMETHING YOU WILL NEVER FORGET.
(excerted (lifted) out of Chris-In-The-Morning)
th tlvsn wll nt b rvltnzd!!! ati@etext.org
House SPEAKer Leaves SandBOX.
(PAWN) Newport, RI - For the first time in 113 years Brutus
"Newt" GangReich will step down as BoxSpeaker, saying "I'm
not playing any more."
Accused of whining, vetting, six of the 7 deadly sins,
and now being a quitter, GangReich had this to say.
"If we can't play by my rules, the way I want to, with
me winning all the time, then I don't want to play," he
snivelled snot on his sleeve loudly. He said he's going
home to live with his sister.
"My sister has a bigger sandbox," said GangReich at an
open press conference in Newport, the first in his career.
"Anyways, we can make our own rules, and play all day,"
he said. GangReich will be sorely remembered.
HOTEL RESERVATION SERvice FOR MOOSUP TRAVELERS.
Moosup, CT (PAWN) Prime Anarchist World News Journalists
went to Moosup, Connecticut this week to see the new system.
Any business travelers heading to Moosup this winter can
take advantage of a free business travel hotel reservation
service to find available and comfortable hotel rooms in the
downtown business area and the area surrounding Cranberry
Navel International Airport.
Central rez service can find rooms beginning at $39 and
can also find affordable weekend rates for weekend getaways.
CRS's toll-free number is 1-800-548-3311 and operates every
day from 5:30 am to 9:30 pm.
THE sPORTS CoLUMn
(SPAWN) Sporty Anarchy Whirled News.
[Sporty Anarchy will be writing occasional sports
columns for ATI whenever the mood is right (and
whenever Ginger is indisposed)]
Local newscaster, Heather Hayes, will be dating
the single Green Bay Packagers, leaving speculation
as to who will service the married ones.
Beginning Sunday, Hayes, Green Bay's resident
gorgious older babe anchorwoman will broadcast
live via webcam from a not-yet-disclosed hotel-room
in Pittsburgh. Which single Packager she will date is
also as yet undisclosed. Hayes says she will date a
different Packager each week as part of her Eligible
Bachelors series, and will give live reports of her
dating via the webcam as well as day old feeds of
play-by-play complete with slow motion and bad
70's wah-wah peddle music.
"I'll be the sports version of Anais Nine," said
Hayes.
Chris Eliot volunteered to interview the married
Packagers saying that since the movie "Something About
Mary," he's got more access to Brett Fave than even his
wife, but NBC26 is just not telling.
As soon as this columnist knows which hotel, which
Green Bay Packager, and which webpage: you'll hear it
here first.
---
ATI, the Carnegie Hall of Zines.
---
th tlvsn wll nt b rvltnzd!!! http://www.thepentagon.com/primeanarchist
"Any fool can use an adjective."
-- Alan Kellerman.
DePere, WI.
GOOD SUGGESTION: A Valued Lesson.
a poem by marco
Atticus,
Thanks for the -
Thanks a lot.
I'm so grateful.
For even just
Being there, but,
Thanks for the
Twelve dollar and
Ninety-five cent
Spanish lesson.
6 Month Lease
another poem by marco
My dad was the Apollo of Angio-plasty
They do a lot of them now
He was number 71 or so in the
Country
Maybe the world
Yale wanted him to write a position paper
What it's like to get a new lease on life
Thanks to a balloon that ripped through his veins
Like a friendlier kind of clot.
He declined.
He died a week or two later. Waiting for the doctor's
OK
To begin jogging instead of walking the miles each day.
Did we lose our sensibility when we lost Apollo?
MORE PARODY:
Welcome back my friends
To the Song that never ends
I'm so glad you could append
Listen up, listen up.
It's on every radio station.
Just like musical masturbation.
Hear me,
See me,
Cheer me,
Be me.
"No, that wasn't me, I'm the one you've got to kiss
to get a ticket."
--Robin, a DNA/Fingerprint/VoicePrint analyst for AOL.
ATI Carefully made with old fashioned computers, brewed
with high fructose attitude, citric acid (provides
tartness) and humour (as opposed to humor)
Not distributed by Lipton/Pepsi/Nestle. Eaglewood, NJ.
Seinfeld was not eaten by a Taco Bell mascot during the
making of this issue.
Send all contributions to:
ati@etext.org
Get back issues at:
http://www.thepentagon.com/primeanarchist
Join the listserv by sending:
subscribe ATI
to
listserv@intst.com
As per usual, ends here with a poem,
because after it's over,
alls we' lef' w/ is the myth.
A Haiku Haiku
by http://marco.franklins.net
for Raysa.
Sometimes I write too
Many haiku; and sometimes - I
Just don't write any.
___________________________________________________________________
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