💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › JOKES › underhan.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 09:42:36.
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U N D E R H A N D E D
A little old lady walked into the head office of Chase
Manhattan Bank, struggling to carry a large paper bag in her
hands. She told the young man at the window that she wished
to take the $3 million she had in the bag and open an account
with the bank. She said that first, though, she wished to
meet the president of Chase Manhattan Bank due to the amount
of money involved. The teller seemed to think that was a
reasonable request and after opening the paper bag and seeing
bundles of $1,000 bills which amounted to approximately $3
million, he telephoned the bank president's secretary to
obtain an appointment for the little old lady.
The lady was escorted upstairs and ushered into the
president's office. Introductions were made and she stated
that she likes to get to know the people she did business
with on a more personal level. The bank president then asked
her where she came into such a large sum of money, "Was it
an inheritance?" he asked. "No" she answered. "Was it from
playing the stock market?" he inquired. "No" she replied.
He was quiet for a minute, trying to think of where this
little old lady could possibly have come into $3 million.
"I bet," she stated. "You bet?" repeated the bank president.
"Yes, I bet people!" She exclaimed.
Seeing the confusion, she explained that she just bets
different things with people. All of a sudden, she said,
"I'll bet you $25,000 that by 10 am tomorrow your balls will
be square." The bank president, somewhat shocked at her
statement, figured she must be off her rocker. After some
deep thought he decided to take her up on the bet. He didn't
see how he could lose such a preposterous wager.
For the rest of the day the bank president was very careful.
He decided to stay home that evening and take no chances there
was $25,000 at stake.
When he got up in the morning and took his shower, he checked
to make sure everything was *a-okay*. There was no
difference..they looked the same as they always had. Assured
that alls well, he went to work, with visions of his own
personal bank account blessed with a $25,000 deposit.
He got to his office, went to the executive mens room, where
a quick check proved them to be normal. Smiling, he waited
for the little old lady to arrive at 10 o'clock, he knew that
this was to be a good day.
At 10 am sharp the little old lady was shown into his office.
With her was a young man. When he inquired as to the young
man's purpose for being there, she informed him that he was
her lawyer. "I always take him along when there is this much
money involved." "Well" she asked, what about our bet?"
Smiling, the bank president replied. "I don't know how to
tell you this but I am the same as I've always been, only
$25,000 richer." The little old lady seemed to accept this,
but requested that she be able to see for herself.
The bank president thought this was a reasonable request and
blushingly removed his trousers. She then instructed him to
bend over, and promptly grabbed hold of the object of the
bet. Sure enough, everything was fine and normal. Breathing
a sigh of relief the bank president pulled up his trousers.
Looking up he saw her lawyer standing across the room,
banging his head against the wall. "What's wrong with him?"
he inquired. "Oh him," she replied, "I bet him $100,000 that
by 10 o'clock this morning that I would have the president of
Chase Manhattan Bank "right by the balls."