💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › JOKES › oneliner.hum captured on 2022-06-12 at 09:39:39.
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- What does a Polack use a "rubber" for? Seal-a-meal - What do you get when you cross a Polack and a Mongoloid with one leg? a Polaroid 1 Step - What is better than 4 roses on a piano? Two lips on an organ - What do you call a truck load of vibrators? Toys for twats - What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle? Beef Strokenoff - Why does an elephant have 4 feet? Because 8 inches isn't enough - What do you call 2 gay guys named Bob? Oral Roberts - What can you use used tampons for? Tea bags for vampires - How can you tell a Polish woman is on her period? She's only wearing 1 sock - What's the leading killer among Polish women? Toxic sock syndrome - How do you get a polish woman pregnant? Cum in her shoes and the flies do the rest. - How do you get 3 Polacks off a couch? Jerk 1 off and the other 2 cum - What's red and has 7 dents? Snow White's cherry - What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus? I don't know, but it can sure pick lettuce - What do soy beans and dildos have in common? Both are meat subsitutes - What's the difference between chicken and meat? If you beat your chicken it would die - Why are chickens so ugly? They have a pecker on their face - What do you call a cow with and abortion? Decalfinated - What do you call a pimple on a Polacks ass? A brain tumor - Have you heard of a new Tox Shock Rock group? They only play ragtime - What do eating pussy and the Mafia have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit - How do you make paper dolls? Screw an old bag - How can you tell a Head nurse? The one with dirty knees - Have you heard about the new Vietnamese cookbook? It's called 101 ways to wok your dog - What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Oriental? A car thief who can't drive - What did the Polack do with his first 50-cent piece? He married her - What do the Post Office & Kinney's have in common? Both have 30,000 black loafers - How do you cure a Jewish woman of nymphomania? Marry her - What's Billy Jean King's latest advertising sponsor? Strap on Tools of America - What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper? Getting fingered by Captain Hook - Why did the Italian staple his nuts together? Since he couldn't lick 'em, he felt he should join them - Three Polacks on a couch - which one's the cock sucker? The one who's spitting feathers - What do you get when you cross a black guy with Bo Derek? A "Ten of Spades" - What do you do when your kotex catches fire? Throw it on the floor and tampon it - What's invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts - How can you tell Dolly Parton's kids in a group? They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips - What's old, wrinkled and smells like Ginger? Fred Astair's face - What's green, and smells like Miss Piggy? Kermit's finger - Which of the following doesn't belong? a wife, meat, eggs, or a blowjob? A blowjob. You can beat your wife, eggs or meat; but you can't beat a blowjob - Why do black guys wear high-heeled shoes? To keep from scraping their knuckles when they walk - How can you tell a black person has been shot in the head? By the hole in his radio - What will they call teh first black test tube baby? Janitor in a drum - Why can't little black kids play in sandboxes? Cats keep trying to cover them up - What's the definition of a virgin? An ugly third grader - What's the definition of a Happy Roman? Gladiator - What do elephants use for a tampon? Sheep - What do you call this? (Puff out cheeks) Polish sperm bank - What do you call this? (Stick out tongue) Lesbian with a hard-on - Why don't Mexicans barbeque? Because the beans slip through the grill - What do you call a Mexican Baptism? Bean Dip - Have you heard about the new black disaster movie? It's called A-pack-of-lips Now - What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold onto your nuts!. This ain't gonna be no ordinary blowjob. - What do you call a female clone? A clunt. - What do you call a Polock with an I.Q. of 176? A village. - What's the definition of the perfect woman? 1) She's three feet tall, has a round hole for a mouth and her head is flat so you can rest coctails on it. 2) The sports model has pull back ears and her teeth fold in. 3) The economy model; she fucks all night and at midnight she turns into a roastbeef sandwich and a six pack. - Why is Ray Charles smiling all the time? Because he doesn't know he is black. - Why do they call camels the ships of the desert? Because they're full of Iranian seamen. - Why did God give blacks rhythm? Because he fucked up their hair. - What do you call a black test tube baby? Janitor in a drum. - What do elephants use for tampons? Sheep. - What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? A piece of ass that makes your eyes water. - How do you say "fuck you" in Jewish? Trust me. - Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can. - Why don't Puerto Ricans have checking accounts? Because it's hard to sign checks with a spray can. - What are the two greatest lies? The check is in the mail, and I won't come in your mouth. - How do you brainwash an Italian? Give him an enema. - Why wasn't Christ born in Italy? Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. - Did you hear about the Polock who studied five days for a urine test? - Did you hear about the Polock who thought asphalt was a rectal problem? - What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker? Hop in. - Why do Jews havev such big noses? Because air is free. - Why was one of Helen Keller's legs yellow? Because her dog was blind, too. - Why did the gut trade in his wife for an outhouse? Because the hole was smaller and the smell was better. - Did you hear that the NFL is going to use green footballs next year? Did you ever hear of a black dropping a watermelon? - Where do you get virgin wool? From ugly sheep. - What did Adam say to Eve? Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets. - What's green and smells like pigs? Kermit's finger. - How do you break a Polock's finger? Punch him in the nose. - Why are chickens so ugly? You'd be ugly, too, if you had a pecker hanging out of your forehead. - Where is an elephant's sex organ? In his feet; if he steps on you you're fucked. - What do you call a gay Indian? A brave fucker. - Why does Nancy Reagan always climb on top? Because Ronnie can only fuck-up. - What do you call an Italian with an I.Q. of 180? Sicily. - What's another reason God created the orgasm? Because he couldn't wait for the second coming. - Why is being a dick not all it's cracked up to be? First of all you have a head but no brains; there's a couple of nuts following you around all the time; your next door neighbor is an asshole and you best friend is a cunt. - What do you call a beautiful girl in Poland? A tourist. - Did you hear about the new Vietnamese cookbook? 100 ways to WOK your dog. - What does a guy with a 12 inch cock have for breakfast? I usually have bacon and eggs. - You know it's going to be a bad day when you get to your office and there's a 60 Minutes News Team waiting for you. - Why do Mexicans have re-fried beans? Have you ever heard of a Mexican doing anything right the first time? - What's the definition of mass confusion? Father's day in Oakland. - What's the ultimate rejection? When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep. - What happens to a Jewish man when he walks into a wall with a full erection? He breaks his nose. - How come the Mexican Army only used 600 Mexicans at the Alamo? Because they only had 2 cars. - If God hadn't meant pussy to be eaten, he wouldn't have made it look like a taco. - You know the bartender's pissed-off when you find a string hanging out of your bloody mary. - Why is Italy shaped like a boot? Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe? - What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman? Inserting the anchovies. - Did you hear about Ku Klux Knievel? He tried to jump 18 blacks with a steam roller. - What do you call a Greek girl who keeps running away from home? A virgin. - What's a Polish shishkabob? A flaming arrow through a garbage can. - What do you do in case of fallout? Put it back in and take shorter strokes. - Why don't Italians eat fleas? Because they can't get their little legs apart. - What do you do with a dog that doesn't have any legs? Take him for a drag. - What's the brown stuff between elephant's toes? Slow natives. - How do you know when an elephant's been fucking in your garage? Your Hefty bags are missing. - Why are Dolly Parton's feet so small? Nothing grows in the shade Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open