💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › JOKES › mommymom.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 09:38:57.
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The Semi-Complete Canatonical List of Mommy, Mommy! Jokes
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son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like Sis!
mom: Shut up, and keep eating!
son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't like running in circles!
mom: Shutup, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.
son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy running away?
mom: Shut up, and help me reload the shotgun!
son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't want to go to England.
mom: Shut up and keep swimming.
son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't want to see daddy again.
mom: Shut up and keep digging.
son: Mommy, Mommy, I want to play with Grandpa now!
mom: Keep quiet, the coffin stays closed today!
son: Mommy, Mommy, I'd like to play marbles now!
mom: Keep quiet, you can't use Grandpa's glasseye today!
son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't like the crunchy stuff in my pea
soup!
mom: Keep quiet and eat what is on the table or do you think
I pour Grandpa's vomit through a sieve?
son: Mommy, Mommy, I wanted to lick the bowl this time.
mom: Shaddup and flush.
son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't know how to play poker.
mom: Shaddup and deal.
son: Mommy, Mommy, can I wear a bra now? I'm 16..
mom: Shut up Albert....
son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like this spaghetti!
mom: Shutup or I'll rip the veins outta yer other arm!!!
son: Mummy, Mummy, Sally won't come skipping with me.
mom: Don't be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps bleed.
son: Mummy, Mummy, what's for dinner?
mom: Shut up and get back in the oven.
son: Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a big
head?
mom: Don't worry. Take your cap and go get me 40 lbs of
potatoes at the store.
son: Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a long
nose?
mom: You don't, but lift your head up or you'll scrape the
floor.
son: Mommy, Mommy, what's a vampire?
mom: Shut up, kid, and drink your soup before it clots!
son: Mommy, Mommy, what's a werewolf?
mom: Shut up, kid, and go comb your face
son: Mommy, mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to swim?
mom: Shut up and get back in the sack!
son: Mommy, Mommy, Why has daddy got his Knob in the bread
bin?
mom: Ignore him son, He's fucking crackers!
son: Mommy, Mommy! How come sis gets to watch TV and I can't?
mom: Shutup or I'll cut your ears off too!
son: Mommy, mommy, I don't want any more hamburger!
mom: Shut up and stick your arms back into the meat grinder.
son: Mummy, Mummy, I don't like grandma.
mom: Well leave her on the side of your plate then.
son: Mommy, Mommy, Auntie threw up and Sis is getting all of
the BIG pieces!
son: Mommy, Mommy, don't push to the elevator
shAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTT!
son: Mommy, Mommy, are you sure this is the right way to cook
Beijing Duck?"
mom: Shuddup and close the microvawe oven door behind you!
son: Mommy, mommy, what's a nymphomaniac?
mom: Shut up kid and help me get granny off the doorknob.
son: Mummy, mummy, what's an orgasm?
mom: I don't know dear, ask your father.
daughter: Daddy daddy what is queer?
dad: Shuddap and unhook my bra.
daughter: Mommy, Mommy! Why don't I have a big thing like
Daddy's between my legs?
mom: You will when you're older, dear!