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Conspiracy Nation -- Vol. 8 Num. 37
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("Quid coniuratio est?")
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A L E R T A L E R T A L E R T
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1420 HOURS JULY 7, 1996
SYNCPAC XX/24 COMMAND
ALL MILITIAS STAND BY
A FULL SCALE YELLOW ALERT HAS GONE INTO EFFECT AS OF 1400 HOURS.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ALL UNITS ARE TO STAND BY AND AWAIT FURTHER
INSTRUCTIONS FROM LOCAL COMMANDERS. IF ALERT IS UPGRADED TO
LEVEL ORANGE, YOU ARE INSTRUCTED TO REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO
PRE-ARRANGED RENDEZVOUS POINTS, AS PER NON-ALIGNED CODICIL
##35-A.
SEVERAL REPORTS HAVE COME IN WARNING OF "PROJECT SATIRE", A
SATIRICAL ATTEMPT TO CONFUSE REDNECKS IN OUR RANKS WHO HAVE
RARELY IF AT ALL VISITED A LIBRARY. "PROJECT SATIRE" SAY THESE
REPORTS BEGAN LAST YEAR WITH PROJECT "ROLLING THUNDER", A MAJOR
JOKE PUT OVER ON DUMB REDNECKS BY SATIRICAL FORCES.
BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR OFFICIAL LOOKING "ALERTS", USUALLY HIGHLY
CAPITALIZED AND CONTAINING TERMS LIKE "YELLOW ALERT", "ORANGE
ALERT", "RED ALERT", AND "ALERT".
HIGH LEVEL SOURCES, STILL NOT 100 PERCENT CONFIRMED, HAVE
REPORTED SATIRE BEING USED AND SEEN IN PLACES SUCH AS WYOMING AND
ARIZONA. **WARNING** SHOULD INDIVIDUAL MEMBERS SPOT A "SATIRE",
DO NOT -- REPEAT: DO NOT -- ATTEMPT CONTACT. REPORT ALL
CONTACTS TO IMMEDIATE SUPERIORS AND ON UP THE CHAIN OF COMMAND.
REPEAT: A YELLOW ALERT IS NOW IN EFFECT. ALL UNITS STAND BY.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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Aperi os tuum muto, et causis omnium filiorum qui pertranseunt.
Aperi os tuum, decerne quod justum est, et judica inopem et
pauperem. -- Liber Proverbiorum XXXI: 8-9