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There was never a time

My little brother was born when I was 7 years old he was crippled by severe illness and was special needs and we and mom and dad all had to dine him and take care of him bathe him feed him change his diapers give him his medication, and in short, do everything for him…

Mom and Dad always worked hard to support the family Grandma would take care to help and make sure the house functioned she would cook and do laundry and clean and do all the housework. My sister was constantly studying and preparing for exams…

Mom and Dad and no one in the family had time for me - that is, they made sure I did not lack what I needed physically but for attitude and love there was nothing to talk about - there was never time for me and for my mental needs in fact no one really raised me or gave Attitude of love or something - I grew up according to orders - "Now get up and go to school" "Now have lunch and go do homework" "Now get ready for exams" "Now you can watch some TV or play on the computer" "Now go to sleep" and I have no love There has never been a time for true love ...

At school and also in the neighborhood no one wanted to connect with me or get closer or be my friend on the contrary they laughed at me and despised me they called me derogatory names cursed me or just said "stay away from him he is fucked" (I am fucked and my family is fucked) laugh at me and laugh at my brother and My family...

There was never a time for love neither in the family nor in school nor anywhere - love only existed in TV series and movies or books from the public library or music on the radio…

There was never time for love there was never love… and when my little brother finally moved to an institution and we were "released" from having to take care of him and take care of him 24/7 it was already too late I was about to finish high school and enlist and get mentally ill and start my life as mentally ill in the backyard of the society ...