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⬅️ Previous capture (2021-12-03)

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Rogue thoughts about disconnecting and satisfaction.

I've been trying to disconnect from the net more these days, 
because I spend too much time on my phone and laptop.

A couple of developments have helped in that respect. 

I've gone back to using my BlackBerry Q10, which is really 
nice to use for phoning, texting, music and podcasts. I've 
buried all of the internet-related apps on the second screen 
inside a folder and to my surprise, that actually works. 
When I don't see them everyday, I don't use them. If you're 
wondering why I don't just uninstall the apps, BlackBerry 
World shut down the paid apps section a while ago. They're 
closing the app store completely at the end of this year. 
Apps are disappearing in the meantime and I don't want to 
lose them as I may never get some of them back again. It's 
the security blanket approach. If it turns out that I don't 
miss the apps over the long term, they'll get deleted.

The other development that has helped a lot is gopher 
browsing. I end up reading thoughtful -- and thought- 
provoking -- material more often and compulsively surfing 
the gadget shopping sites (hi, eBay, we were friends 
once...) a lot less. There's also a limit on the new 
material available in gopherspace, which is a good thing.

On the subject of online gadget shopping, when your main 
interests are on gopher, there seems to be a lot less 
impetus to upgrade devices. But I also *think* my device 
nostalgia has run its course. There were a lot of devices 
(especially handhelds) that were far too expensive when I 
was a student and I ended up buying them later, after I got 
a permanent job. So now I have a drawer full of interesting 
relics. I was pursuing some kind of happiness in buying 
those things.

I read something once -- I can't remember the author any 
more (maybe H.L. Mencken?) -- that decried a shift in values 
in 1940s America. The crux was that people were valued for 
what they consumed and no longer for what they were capable 
of producing, and that the change was not a positive thing. 
I think I'm guilty of that on a personal level: of thinking 
that what I consume might change me, make me happier, make 
life better, whatever. It's not going to happen.

The weird thing is, I'm not sure that producing material 
things makes you happier either. I've renovated and re-wired 
every room in my house but one (this summer's project) and 
while you get satisfaction from completing those kind of 
projects, it's transitory. I hate to cite Zen and the Art of 
Motorcycle Maintenance (only because it sounds pretentious), 
but Robert Pirsig had a good point when he said that you 
have to learn to love the process and not always be focussed 
on end goals (he was mountain climbing and *not* enjoying 
the process!). I've remembered that point for two decades, 
but I don't seem to be able to actually do it while I'm 
working on things. I wish I could. The only time I remember 
to *try* to enjoy myself while working is when I'm 
gardening. I've got to do more of that this spring.