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2020-11-07. work and worry on the weekend

So the election's been called. I feel like we can move on again. And that's all I really want to say about that.

Today, I worked all day.

Getting to work was an ordeal. My electric bike (I feel like a bougie asshole when I talk about that) ran out of juice midway to work, so I was stuck on leg power. On the one hand, it's kind of a Hedbergian "broken escalator" situation ("Sorry for the convenience..."), on the other, all that battery and motor and gear and shit I had weigh quite a bit more than your standard bike, so it was tough to pedal. I ended up being late to work by about 10 minutes.

Once I got to work, I was stressed in the morning because a lot of people came in to the Career Center and it was very busy, plus, who knows, I was just stressed. I spent a whole lot of time on IRC, and shot the shit with people on there, which is always nice, what can I say.

After lunch at Taco Bell with my wife (she didn't eat; she hates Taco Bell, but the Crunchwrap Supreme [sub black beans] gives me life) I felt better, and no one else really came into the career center so it was pretty easy going. This one lady did come in toward the end of the day to do some kind of "game" to apply for a job (!?) but that was about it.

I was able to work on some generative art based on a post from Vidar Holen¹ that I thought was pretty cool. I've thrown the best one on my image server, which is sadly still HTTP. (Maybe later I'll be able to update the link here.)

I also discovered a kind of audio sequencer live-coding thing called ORCΛ², which looks really cool -- though to use it I need to install a MIDI something? I don't know. It seems pretty confusing. Still, I'll figure it out at some point and make some funky music :)

Biking home was a lot better because I did happen to take my charger to work and so was able to bike fast back home. So that was pretty nice. I like going fast!

We went to Old Navy after that because I need some pants. I've put on a bit of weight -- I'm to an actually healthy weight now, like 150 or so -- so my usual pants size of 30x34 is a little tight. On the one hand, that's great, because stores really don't carry 30x34s in stock, but usually *do* have 32x34s. I tried those on and they were still a little tight, so I went with 34x34s, but here's the thing. I still have these skinny chicken legs, so all the pants that fit my waist well don't fit my legs, like I'm swimming in those things. I tell ya, pants. They're tough.

We went to the grocery store after that, and let me tell you -- I love grocery shopping. It's like the best thing to do on the weekend. So yeah, grocery shopping, we did that, it was dope, then came home and ate some pizza and drank sparkling apple cider in celebration of what happened in the first paragraph of this post.

I finished out the day by watching some NCIS, writing this ... whatever, and catching the Saturday Night Live tonight. It's okay. Dave Chappelle is hosting, and he's doing a great job like always. The writing of the sketches just isn't where it used to be though.

¹ Use echo/printf to write images in 5 LoC with zero libraries or headers

² Introductory video to ORCΛ (youtube)

I'm going to be honest here: I almost didn't write this today. In fact, I technically *didn't* complete my #1kaday challenge on November 7, because it's currently 7 minutes past midnight on November 8 and I'm ... 676 words in to my 1000. I didn't have anything to really write today, so I'm writing out a journal of what happened to me.

I suppose it's better than nothing, but I really do need to plan out the rest of this month tomorrow. Of course, tomorrow I'm going to the Renaissance Faire so I don't know when I'll have the time.

Similar to this quandry, I have my new VPS I need to set up but other things keep distracting me or keeping me from doing it right then, and besides I'm not 1000% sure what I want to do or how to do it. This confluence of feelings is pretty effective at keeping me from doing a lot of things. I'm not sure how to get better at it.

I feel like I should be, since I'm 30 now and really, should have my shit together a little more than that, right? But I don't. Which is one of the reasons I want to make sure my kids know that

nobody really knows what they're doing

I'm kind of being hard on myself here, for not knowing what to write. But I need to remind myself that it's okay to not be /on/ all the time, or not know what to do. I need to be easy on myself, to forgive myself for things like that. For what? I'm being unspecific here. I don't know what /that/ means, do you? Read it back. It means nothing. All of this means nothing. It was a day that day-ed, and it was okay, but it wasn't anything special, other than what happened in the first paragraph.

I just saw a reference about a beer scene in Shawshank Redemption but I don't remember it at all. I feel like a good number of things have happened lately that I don't remember and I worry about my memory too sometimes. My grandmother had dementia. I guess it'll happen or it won't happen. I can just take care of myself and that's that.

Well, that's a thousand. See you tomorrow.

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