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birfday

Much has happened since my last. It began with a locked down spring and a subsequent solitary summer which, spent alone, was extraordinary mental preparation for the period of profound growth to come. A rewarding volunteer position with my university's welcome program marked the boundary between summer and semester. On the latter side of that boundary, I found new and rewarding responsibilities. I found ever more academic work, some of it fulfilling. I found a relationship that, though fleeting, has been the most rewarding that I've ever experienced. That was far and away the most important part of this past year, but the second place contestant deserves recognition. Through all of the above, I found time to publish; to express. This very post is an ancestor of that initial effort.

The opposite of expression is compression. Go too long without releasing emotion, and it accumulates, gaining density and gravity. Now, suddenly, everything is about that one little thing. That is why we express ourselves. Black holes are interesting, but it's a solar system that breeds life and myriad other beautiful things. It is better that ideas are given the opportunity to live lives of their own outside my limited mind. Even if I do not publish them, they wait patiently on paper (or otherwise stored) to be rediscovered and slowly, incrementally, transformed.

This year may aptly be called my "Year of Expression". Part of what made the aforementioned relationship so special was the vigilant openness and communication between us. The new professional opportunities I have experienced required facilitation and organizational leadership. Most obviously of all, I have expressed my thoughts directly in this post and its siblings throughout the year. You may think them few; that they are more than zero, however, represents an undeniable leap forward in my constructive vulnerability and proactive expression.

Today, I bid a sweet farewell to the Year of Expression, though I trust its legacy to endure. I hope to follow it with a period of settlement after what I see as intense growth; of seeing what improvements hang around and polishing them. I hope to revive some old practices of mine and put some much needed structure to them. I hope to know my priorities, and to follow them most of the time. I hope to engage mindfully and with dedication to the parts of my life I am growing to love, and fall into a soothing, cyclic cadence of content diligence.

May you and I both find peace and joy despite everyday ups, downs, and unknowns; may we glide with open minds into this, the year of practice, the year of refinement, the Year of Rhythm.

Happy birthday,

Ty (older now)